The Lover of Lies, or the Doubter Tychiades (11-15)

“Never mind him,” said Ion, “and I will tell you

a wonderful story. I was still a young lad, about fourteen years old, when someone came and told my father that Midas the vine-dresser, ordinarily a strong and industrious servant, had been bitten by a viper toward midday and was lying down, with his leg already in a state of mortification. While he was tying up the runners and twining them about the poles, the creature had crawled up and bitten him on the great toe; then it had quickly gone down again into its hole, and he was groaning in mortal anguish.

“As this report was being maile, we saw Midas himself being brought up on a litter by his fellowslaves, all swollen and livid, with a clammy skin and but little breath left in him. Naturally my father was distressed, but a friend who was there said to him: ‘Cheer up: I will at once go and get you a Babylonian, one of the so-called Chaldeans, who will cure the fellow.’ Not to make a long story of it, the Babylonian came and brought Midas back to life, driving the poison out of his body by a spell, and also binding upon his foot a fragment which he broke from the tombstone of a dead maiden.

“Perhaps this is nothing out of the common: although Midas himself picked up the litter on which he had been carried and went off to the farm, so potent was the spell and the fragment of the tombstone.

But the Babylonian did other things that were truly miraculous. Going to the farm in the early morning, he repeated seven sacred names out of an old book, purified the place with sulphur and torches, going about. it three times, and called out all the

reptiles that there were inside the boundaries. They came as if they were being drawn in response to the spell, snakes in great numbers, asps, vipers, horned snakes, darters, common toads, and puff-toads; one old python, however, was missing, who on account of his age, I suppose, could not creep out and so failed to comply with the command. The magician said that not all were there, and electing one of the snakes messenger, the youngest, sent him after the python, who presently came too. When they were assembled, the Babylonian blew on them and they were all instantly burned up by the blast, and we were amazed.”

“Tell me, Ion,” said I, “did the messenger snake, the young one, give his arm to the python, who you say was aged, or did the python have a stick and lean on it?”

“You are joking,” said Cleodemus: “I myself was formerly more incredulous than you in regard to such things, for I thought it in no way possible that they could happen; but when first I saw the foreign stranger fly—he came from the land of the Hyperboreans, he said—, I believed and was conquered after long resistance. What was I to do when I saw him soar through the air in broad daylight and walk on the water and go through fire slowly on foot?” “Did you see that?’ said I—“the Hyperborean flying, or stepping on the water?” “Certainly,” said he, “with brogues on his feet such as people of that country commonly wear. As for the trivial

feats, what is the use of telling all that he performed, sending Cupids after people, bringing up supernatural beings, calling mouldy corpses to life, making Hecate herself appear in plain sight, and pulling down the moon?

But after all, I will tell you what I saw him do in the house of Glaucias, son of Alexicles.

“Immediately after Glaucias’ father died and he acquired the property, he fell in love with Chrysis, the wife of Demeas. I was in his employ as his tutor in philosophy, and if that love-affair had not kept him too busy, he would have known all the teachings of the Peripatetic school, for even at eighteen he was solving fallacies and had completed the course of lectures on natural philosophy.[*] At his wit’s end, however, with his love-affair, he told me the whole story; and as was natural, since I was his tutor, I brought him that Hyperborean magician at a fee of four minas down (it was necessary to pay something in advance towards the cost of the victims) and sixteen if he should obtain Chrysis. The man waited for the moon to wax, as it is then, for the most part, that such rites are performed ; and after digging a pit in an open court of the house, at about midnight he first summoned up for us Alexicles, Glaucias’ father, who had died seven months before. The old gentleman was indignant over the love-affair . and flew into a passion, but at length he permitted him to go on with it after all. Next he brought up Hecate, who fetched Cerberus with her, and he drew down the moon, a many-shaped spectacle, appearing differently at different times; for at first she exhibited the form of a woman, then she turned into a handsome bull, and then she looked like a puppy.

Finally, the Hyperborean made a little Cupid out of Clay and said: ‘Go and fetch Chrysis.’ The clay took wing, and before long Chrysis stood on the threshold knocking at the door, came in and embraced Glaucias as if she loved him furiously, and remained with him until we heard the cocks crowing. Then the moon flew up to the sky, Hecate plunged beneath the earth, the other phantasms disappeared, and we sent Chrysis home at just about dawn.

If you had seen that, Tychiades, you would no longer have doubted that there is much good in spells.”

“Quite so,” said I, “I should have believed if I had seen it, but as things are I may perhaps be pardoned if I am not able to see as clearly as you. However, I know the Chrysis whom you speak of, an amorous dame and an accessible one, and I do not see why you needed the clay messenger and the Hyperborean magician and the moon in person to fetch her, when for twenty drachmas she could have been brought to the Hyperboreans! The woman is very susceptible to that spell, and her case is the opposite to that of ghosts; if they hear a chink of bronze or iron, they take flight, so you say, but as for her, if silver chinks anywhere, she goes toward the sound. Besides, I am surprised at the magician himself, if he was able to have the love of the richest women and get whole talents from them, and yet made Glaucias fascinating, penny-wise that he is, for four minas.”’

“You act ridiculously,” said Ion, “to doubt everything.