The Parasite Tychiades (36-40)

As to Aristotle, he only made a beginning in Parasitic, as in every other art.

I have shown that, as I said, philosophers have been eager to play parasite; but nobody can instance a parasite who has cared to practise philosophy.

Furthermore, if happiness lies in not hungering or thirsting or shivering, nobody has this in his power except the parasite. Consequently you can find many cold and hungry philosophers, but never a parasite; otherwise he would not be a parasite, but an unfortunate beggar fellow, resembling a philosopher.

TYCHIADES You have been sufficiently explicit on that score. But how do you prove that Parasitic excels philosophy and rhetoric in other respects?

SIMON There are seasons, my dear fellow, in the life of man, seasons of peace, I take it, and again seasons of war. Well, in those seasons it is absolutely inevitable that the arts and those who possess them should show what they are. First, if you please, let us consider the season of war, and what class of men would be above all most useful to themselves individually and to the state in general.

TYCHIADES What a searching test of manhood you are announcing! I have long been laughing inwardly to think how a philosopher would look in comparison with a parasite.

SIMON Then in order to prevent you from wondering too much and also from thinking it a laughing matter, let us imagine that right here in our city proclamation has been made that the enemy has unexpectedly invaded the country; that it is