The Parasite Tychiades (12)

Again, it is not only in this way that pleasure is foreign to Kpicurus, but in another way. This Epicurus, whoever the learned gentleman is, either has or has not his daily bread. Now if he has not, it is not a question of living a life of pleasure; he will not even live! But if he has, he gets it either from his own larder or that of someone else. Now if he gets his daily bread from someone else, he is a parasite and not what he calls himself; but if he gets it from his own larder, he will not lead a life of pleasure.

TYCHIADES Why not?

SIMON If he gets his daily bread from his own larder, many are the unpleasantnesses which must needs attend such a life, Tychiades! Just see how many! A man who intends to shape his life by pleasure should satisfy all the desires that arise in him. What do you say to that?

TYCHIADES I agree with you.

SIMON Therefore the man of vast means no doubt has the opportunity of doing so, while the man of little or no means has not; consequently a poor

man cannot become an adept or attain the end, that is to say, pleasure. Even the rich man, however, . who through his wealth ministers lavishly to his desires, cannot attain that. Why? Because quite inevitably, when a man spends his money, he becomes involved in many an unpleasantness, at one moment quarrelling with his cook for preparing the meat badly—or else if he does not quarrel, eating poor food on that account and coming short of his pleasure—and the next moment quarrelling with the man who manages his household affairs, if he does not manage them well. Is not that so?

TYCHIADES Yes, by Zeus, I agree with you.

SIMON Now Epicurus is likely to have all this happen to him, so that he will never reach the end. But the parasite has no cook with whom to lose his temper, nor lands nor house nor money over the loss of which to be vexed, so that he alone can eat and drink without being annoyed by any of the matters which inevitably annoy the rich.