The Sale of Lives (8-9)

Buyer

In the first place, my friend, where are you from?

Diogones

Everywhere.

Buyer

What do you mean?

Diogones

You see before you a citizen of the world.

Buyer

And who is your model?

Diogones

Herakles.

Buyer

Then why don't you wear the lion-skin, too? You are like him as far as the club goes.

Diogones

This is my lion-skin, my threadbare coat. Like him, I make war on pleasures; not under orders, but of my own will, deliberately choosing to purify life.

Buyer

A noble choice! But just what are we to understand that you know? What art are you master of?

Diogones

I am the liberator of mankind and the physician of their passions; but, above all, I wish to be the prophet of truth and free speech.

Buyer

Come, prophet, if I buy you, what training will you put me through?

Diogones

First, I will take you in hand and strip you of your luxury, locking you up with poverty

and clothing you in a threadbare cloak. Next, I will drive you to travail and toil, with the ground for your bed, water for your drink, and for your food whatever comes along. As for your money, if you have any, you will carry it down to the sea and throw it in, if you will be guided by me, and you will have no care for wife or child or fatherland; everything of that sort will seem trumpery to you. You will leave your paternal house, and take up your dwelling in a tomb, or in a deserted tower, or even in a tub. Let your wallet be full of pease and bescribbled books, and in this plight you will declare yourself happier than the great king. If any one should flog you or stretch you on the rack you will feel no pain.

Buyer

What do you mean by that feeling no pain when one is flogged? I have not got the covering of a turtle or a lobster on my shoulders!

Diogones

You will admire that little saying of Euripides, with a word or two altered.

Buyer

What one?

Diogones

Your heart will suffer, but your tongue will feel no pain.