Timon, or the Misanthrope (56-58)

THRASYCLES I have not come with the same intent as all this crowd, Timon. Dazzled by your riches, they have gathered at a run in the expectation of silver and gold and costly dinners, meaning to exercise unlimited flattery upon a man so simple and so free with his gear. You know, of course, that for me barley-cake is dinner enough, and the sweetest relish is thyme or cardamom, or if ever I were to indulge myself, a trifle of salt. My drink is the water of Nine-spouts, and this philosopher’s mantle suits me better than any purple robe. As for gold, I hold it in no higher worth than yonder pebbles on the shore. It was on your account that I came, in order that you might not be corrupted by wealth, that most iniquitous and insidious of possessions, which, many a time to many a man, has proved a source of irreparable misfortunes. If you take my advice, you will by all means throw the whole of it into the sea, for it is not at all essential to a virtuous man who can discern the riches of philosophy; but don’t throw it into the deep water, my dear fellow: just wade in as far as your waist and toss it a short distance outside the breakers, with none but me to see you.

However, if you are unwilling to do this, then bundle it out of the house quickly in another and a better way without leaving as much as a copper for yourself by distributing it to all the needy, five drachmas to this man, a mina to that one and half a talent to a third. If a philosopher should apply he ought to get a double or a triple portion. As for me, I do not ask for it on my own account but to share with those of my comrades who are needy, and it will be plenty if

TIMON Well said, Thrasycles! But instead of filling the wallet, please allow me to fill your head with lumps, measured out with my pick.

THRASYCLES Democracy and the Laws! The scoundrel is beating me, in a free city!

TIMON What are you angry about, my dear fellow? Surely I haven’t given you short measure? Come, Pll throw in four pecks over the amount!

But what have we here? They are gathering in swarms; I see Blepsias yonder, Laches, Guipho and the whole crew of my intended victims. Why not climb this rock, give my long-wearied pick a little rest and handle the situation without it, collecting all the stones I can and raining them down on those fellows from a distance?

BLEPSIAS Don’t throw at us, Timon; we are going away.

TIMON But not without bloodshed and wounds, I promise you!