Timon, or the Misanthrope (46-50)

GNATHONIDES Didn’t I say that the gods would not neglect an upright man like Timon? Good day to you, Timon, first in good looks, first in good manners and first in good fellowship.

TIMON The same to you, Gnathonides, first of all vultures in voracity and first of all mankind in rascality.

GNATHONIDES You are always fond of your joke. But where are we to dine? I have brought you a new song from one of the plays[*] that have just been put on.

TIMON I assure you, it will be a very mournful dirge that you will sing, with this pick of mine to prompt you.

TIMON If you will only linger one moment more, the summons will be for murder.

GNATHONIDES No, no! Do heal my wound, at least, by putting alittle gold on it. That is a wonderful specific for staunching blood.

TIMON What, are you still bent on staying?

GNATHONIDES I am going; but you shall be sorry that you left off being a gentleman and became such a boor.

TIMON Who is this coming up, with the bald pate? Philiades, the most nauseous toady of them all. He received from me a whole farm and a dower of two talents for his daughter in payment for praising me once, when I had sung a song and everybody else kept still, but he lauded me to the skies, vowing on his word of honour that I was a better singer than a swan. Yet when he saw me ill the other day and I went up to him and begged for alms, the generous fellow bestowed a thrashing on me.

PHILIADES Oh, what effrontery! So you all recognize Timon now? So Gnathonides is his friend and booncompanion now? Then he has had just what he deserved for being so thankless. But we, who are old acquaintances and schoolmates and neighbours,

TIMON No doubt, Philiades. But come here, so that I may give you a friendly greeting with my pick!

PHILIADES Help! The ingrate has broken my head because I gave him good advice.

TIMON Lo and behold! here comes a third, the orator Demeas, holding a resolution in his hand and saying that he is a relative of mine. That fellow paid the city treasury sixteen talents within a single day, getting his money from me, for he had been condemned to a fine and put in jail while it was unpaid. And yet when it became his duty recently to distribute the show-money to the Erechtheis tribe,[*] and I went up and asked for my share, he said he did not recognize me as a citizen!

DEMEAS Good day, Timon, great benefactor of your kin, bulwark of Athens, shield of Greece! ‘The assembly and both the councils are in session and awaiting your pleasure this long time. But before you go, listen to the resolution that I drew up in your behalf. “Whereas Timon of Collytus, the son of Echecratides, a man who is not only upright but wise beyond any other in Greece, labours always in the best interests of the city, and has won the boxing match, the wrestling match, and the foot-race at Olympia in a single day, as well as the horse-races, both with the regular chariot and with the span of colts””— -

TIMON But I never was even a delegate[*] to the games at Olympia!

DEMEAS What of that? You will be, later. It is best to put in plenty of that sort of thing. — "and fought bravely for the city at Acharnae vee and cut to pieces two divisions of Spartans"—