Icaromenippus, or the Sky-man (23-26)

MENIPPUS

Zeus, however, looked at me with a

fierce, Titanic stare and said in a very terrible voice:

What is your name, sir, whence do you come, and where is your city and hearth-stone?

The line occurs frequently in the Odyssey, e.g. 1, 170. When I heard this, I nearly dropped dead of fright, but stood my ground all the same, though my jaw was hanging and I was thunderstruck by the loudness of his voice. But in time I pulled myself together and told him the whole story clearly, starting at the very beginning—how I wanted to learn about the heavenly bodies, how I went to the philosophers, how I heard them contradicting each other, how I got tired of being pulled this way and that by their arguments, and then about my idea and the wings and all the rest of it till my arrival in Heaven; and at the end I added the message of the moon. Smiling and unbending a little, Zeus remarked: “What can one say to Otus and Ephialtes when even a Menippus has the hardihood to come up to Heaven? However, we invite you to be our guest for to-day, and to-morrow, after we have taken action on the matters about which you have come, we shall send you away.” With that he arose and walked toward the best place in Heaven for hearing, as it was time to sit and listen to the prayers.

MENIPPUS

As he walked along he asked me about things on earth, first the usual questions, how much wheat now costs in Greece, whether the last winter hit us hard and whether the crops needed more rain. Then he

inquired whether any of the descendants of Phidias were still left, why the Athenians had omitted the Diasia for so many years, whether they had any idea of finishing the Olympieion for him and whether the men who robbed his temple in Dodona had been arrested.[*]

When I had answered these questions, he said:

“Tell me, Menippus, what opinion do men hold about me?

“Tell me, Menippus, what opinion do men hold about me?” “What opinion should they hold, sir,” said I, “except the highest possible one, that you are king of all the gods?” “You are fond of your joke,” said he, “but I am thoroughly acquainted with their craze for novelty even without your telling me. There was once a time when they looked upon me as a prophet and a healer, and I was all in all; “Yea, full of Zeus were all the streets And all the marts of men.’ At that time Dodona and Pisa were rich and highly regarded by all, and I could not even see for the smoke of the sacrifices. But since Apollo founded his oracle at Delphi and Asclepius his hospital in Pergamos and the temple of Bendis arose in Thrace and the temple of Anubis in Egypt and the temple of Artemis in Ephesus, these are the places where they all run and celebrate feast-days and bring hecatombs, and offer up ingots of gold, while I, they think, being past my prime, am sufficiently honoured if they sacrifice to me once every four whole years at Olympia. Consequently, you can see for yourself that my altars are more frigid than the Laws of Plato or the Syllogisms of Chrysippus.”

MENIPPUS

Pursuing such topics, we came to the place where he had to sit and hear the prayers. There was a row of openings like mouths of wells, with covers on them, and beside each stood a golden throne. Sitting down by the first one, Zeus took off the cover and gave his attention to the people who were praying. The prayers came from all parts of the world and were of all sorts and kinds, for I myself bent over the orifice and listened to them along with him. They went like this; “O Zeus, may I succeed in becoming king!” “O Zeus, make my onions and my garlic grow!” “QO ye gods, let my father die quickly!”; and now and then one or another would say: “O that I may inherit my wife’s property!” “QO that I may be undetected in my plot against my brother!” “May I succeed in winning my suit!” “Let me win the wreath at the Olympic games!”” Among seafaring men, one was praying for the north wind to blow, another for the south wind; and the farmers were praying for rain while the washermen were praying for sunshine. Zeus listened and weighed each prayer carefully, but did not promise everything;

This by the Father was granted and that was denied them.

Iliad16, 250. You see, he let the just prayers come up through the orifice and then took them and filed them away at his right; but he sent the impious ones back un- granted, blowing them downward so that they might not even come near Heaven. In the case of one petition I observed that he was really in a dilemma: when two men made contrary prayers and promised equal sacrifices, he didn’t know which one of them to give assent to; so that he was in the same plight as the Academicians and could not make any aflirmation at all, but suspended judgement for a while and thought it over, like Pyrrho.

MENIPPUS

When he had given sufficient consideration to the prayers, he moved to the next throne and the second opening, leaned down and devoted himself to covenants and people making oaths. After considering these and annihilating Hermodorus the Epicurean, he changed his seat to the next throne to give his attention to omens derived from sounds and sayings and the flight of birds. Then he moved from there to the sacrifice-opening, through which the smoke came up and told Zeus the name of each man who was sacrificing. On leaving the openings, he gave orders to the winds and the weather, telling them what to do: “Let there be rain to-day in Scythia, lightning in Libya, snow in Greece. North Wind, blow in Lydia. South Wind, take a day off. Let the West Wind raise a storm on the Adriatic, and let about a thousand bushels of hail be sprinkled over Cappadocia.”