The Cock (26-30)

Micyllus

Whew! I like not this, my cock. Methinks there is safety in bent backs and leather-cutting, and none in golden loving-cups; I will pledge no man in hemlock or in aconite. All Z have to fear is that my knife may slip out of the line, and draw a drop or two from my fingers: but your kings would seem to sit down to dinner with Death, and to lead dogs’ lives into the bargain. They go at last; and then they are more like play-actors than anything else—like such a one as you may see taking the part of Cecrops or Sisyphus or Telephus. He has his diadem and his ivory-hilted sword, his waving hair and spangled cloak: but accidents will happen,—suppose he

makes a false step: down he comes on the middle of the stage, and the audience roars with laughter. For there is his mask, crumpled up, diadem and all, and his own bloody coxcomb showing underneath it; his legs are laid bare to the knees, and you see the dirty rags inside his fine robe, and the great lumbering buskins. Ha, ha, friend cock, have I learnt to turn a simile already? Well, there are my views on tyranny. Now for the horses and dogs and frogs and fishes: how did you like that kind of thing?

Cock

Your question would take a long time to answer; more time than we can spare. But—to sum up my experience in two words—every one of these creatures has an easier life of it than man. Their aims, their wants, are all confined to the body: such a thing as a tax-farming horse or a litigant frog, a jackdaw sophist, a gnat confectioner, or a cock pander, is unknown; they leave such things to humanity.

Micyllus

It may be as you say. But, cock (I don’t mind making a clean breast of it to you), I have had a fancy all my life for being rich, and I am as bad as ever; nay, worse, for there is the dream, still flaunting its gold before my eyes; and that confounded Simon, too,—it chokes me to think of him rolling in luxury.

Cock

V’'ll put that right. It is still dark, get up and come with me. You shall pay a visit to Simon and other rich men, and see how things stand with them.

Micyllus

But the doors are locked. Would you have me break in?

Cock

Oh no; but I have a certain privilege from Hermes, my patron: you see my longest tail-feather, the curling one that hangs down,—

Micyllus

There are two curling ones that hang down.

Cock

The one on the right. By allowing any one to pluck out that feather and carry it, I give him the power, for as long

as I like, of opening all doors and seeing everything, himself unseen.

Micyllus

Cock, you are a positive conjurer. Only give me the feather, and it shall not be long before Simon’s wealth shifts its quarters; I’ll slip in and make a clean sweep. His teeth shall tug leather again.

Cock

That must not be. I have my instructions from Hermes, and if my feather is put to any such purpose, I am to call out and expose the offender.

Micyllus

Hermes, of all people, grudge a man a little thievery? I'll not believe it of him. However, let us start; I promise not to touch the gold ... if I can help it.

Cock

You must pluck out the feather first. ... What’s this? You have taken both!

Micyllus

Better to be on the safe side. And it would look so bad to have one half of your tail gone and not the other.

Cock

Well. Where shall we go first?. To Simon’s?

Micyllus

Yes, yes, Simon first. Simonides it is, nowadays; two syllables is not enough for him since he has come into money. ... Here we are; what do I do next?

Cock

Apply the feather to the bolt.

Micyllus

So. Heracles! it might be a key; the door flies open.

Cock

Walk in; you go first. Do you see him? He is sitting up over his accounts.

Micyllus

See him! I should think I did. What a light! That lamp wants a drink. And what makes Simon so pale? He is shrivelled up to nothing. That comes of his worries; there is nothing else the matter with him, that I have heard of.

Cock

Listen, and you will understand.

Simon

That seventeen thousand in the hole under my bed is safe enough; not a soul saw me that time. But I believe Sosylus caught me hiding the four thousand under the manger: he is not the most industrious of grooms, he was never too fond

of work; but he lives in that stable now. And I expect that is not all that has gone, by a long way. What was Tibius doing with those fine great kippers yesterday? And they tell me he paid no less a sum than four shillings for a pair of earrings for his wife. God help me, it’s my money they’re flinging about. I’m not easy about all that plate either: what if some one should knock a hole in the wall, and make off with it? Many is the one that envies me, and has an eye on my gold; my neighbour Micyllus is as bad as any of them.

Micyllus

Hear, hear! He is as bad as Simon; he walks off with other people’s pudding-basins under his arm.

Cock

Hush! we shall be caught.

Simon

There’s nothing like sitting up, and having everything under one’s own eye. I’ll jump up and go my rounds.... You there! you burglar! I see you.... Ah, it is but a post; all is well. I'll pull up the gold and count it again; I may have missed something just now.... Hark! a step! I knew it; he is upon me! I am beset with enemies. The world conspires against me. Where is my dagger? Only ae me catch... —I’ll put the gold back.

Cock

There: now you have seen Simon at home, Let us go on to another house, while there is still some of the night left.

Micyllus

The worm! what a life! I wish all my enemies such wealth as his, Ill just lend him a box on the ear, and then I am ready.

Simon

Who was that? Some one struck me! Ah! I am robbed!

Micyllus

Whine away, Simon, and sit up of nights till you are as yellow as the gold you clutch.—I should like to go to Gniphon the usurer’s next; it is quite close... . Again the door opens. to us.