The Dream, or the Cock (26-30)

MICYLLUS

Tut, tut! What you say is dreadful, cock. For

me, at least, it is far safer to bend over and cobble shoes than to drink out of a golden cup when the health that is pledged you is qualified with hemlock or aconite. The only risk I run is that if my knife should slip sideways and fail to cut straight, I might draw a little blood by cutting my fingers; but they, as you say, do their feasting at the peril of their lives and live amid a thousand ills beside. Then when they fall they make no better figure than the actors that you often see, who for a time pretend to be a Cecrops or a Sisyphus or a Telephus, with diadems and ivory-hilted swords and waving hair and gold-embroidered tunics; but if (as often happens) one of them misses his footing and falls down in the middle of the stage, it naturally makes fun for the audience when the mask gets broken to pieces, diadem and all, and the actor’s own face is covered with blood, and his legs are bared high, so as to show that his inner garments are miserable rags and that the buskins with which he is shod are shapeless and do not fit his foot. Do you see how you have already taught me to make comparisons, friend cock? Well, as for absolute power, it proves to be something of that sort. But when you became a horse or a dog or a fish or a frog, how did you find that existence?

COCK

That is a long story you are starting, and we have not time for it just now. But to give the upshot of it, there is no existence that did not seem to me more care-free than that of man, since the others are con- ‘ formed to natural desires and needs alone; you will not see among them a horse bailiff or a frog informer

or a jackdaw sophist or a mosquito chef or a libertine cock or any of the other modes of life that you men follow.

MICYLLUS

No doubt that is true, cock. But as to myself, I am not ashamed to tell you how I feel. I am not yet able to unlearn the desire of becoming rich that [have had since my boyhood. My dream, too, still stands before my eyes displaying its gold; and above all I am choking with envy of that confounded Simon, who is revelling in so many blessings.

COCK

I will cure you, Micyllus. As it is still night, get up and follow me; I will take you to visit Simon and to the house of the other rich men, so that you may see what their establishments are like.

MICYLLUS

How can you do it when their doors are locked? You aren't going to make me be a burglar?

COCK

Not by any means. But Hermes, to whom IT am consecrated, gave me this privilege, that if my longest tail feather, the one that is so pliant that it curls—

MICYLLUS

You have two like that.

COCK

It is the one on the right, and if I permit any man to pull it out and keep it, that man, as long as I choose, can open every door and see everything without being seen himself.

MICYLLUS

I didn’t realize, cock, that you yourself were a conjurer. Well, if you only let me have it, you shall see all Simon’s possessions brought over here in a jiffy: Pl slip in and bring them over, and he will once more eat his leather as he stretches it.[*]

COCK

That is impossible, for Hermes ordered me, if the man who had the feather did anything of that sort, to uplift my voice and expose him.

MICYLLUS

It is hard to believe what you say, that Hermes, himself a thief, begrudges others the same privilege. But let’s be off just the same; I'll keep my hands off the gold if I can.

COCK

First pluck the feather out, Micyllus . . . What's this? You have pulled them both out!

MICYLLUS

It is safer to do so, cock, and it will spoil your beauty less, preventing you from being crippled on one side of your tail.

COCK

All right. Shall we visit Simon first, or one of the other rich men?

MICYLLUS

No: Simon, who wants to have a name of four syllables instead of two, now that he is rich. Here we are at the door already. What shall I do next?

COCK

Put the feather to the lock.

MICYLLUS

Look at that now! Heracles! The door has opened just as it would toa key!

COCK

Lead on. Do you see him sitting up and figuring?

MICYLLUS

Yes, by Heaven, beside a dim and thirsty lamp; he is pale for some reason, cock, and all run down and thin; from worrying, I suppose, for there was no talk of his being ill in any other way.

COCK

Listen to what he is saying and you will find out how he got this way.

SIMON

Well, then, that seventy talents is quite safely buried under the bed and no one else knows of it; but as for the sixteen, I think Sosylus the groom saw me hiding them under the manger. At any rate he is all for hanging about the stable, though he is not particularly attentive to business otherwise or fond of work. I have probably been robbed of much more than that, or else where did Tibius get the money for the big slice of salt fish they said he treated himself to yesterday or the earring they said he bought for his wife at a cost of five whole drachmas?_ It’s my money these fellows are squandering, worse luck! But my cups are not stored in a safe place, either, and there are so many! I’m afraid someone may burrow under the wall and steal them: many envy me and plot against me, and above all my neighbour Micyllus.

MICYLLUS

Yes, by Heaven, I’m just like you and go away with the dishes under my arm!

COCK

Hush, Micyllus, for fear he may find out that we are here.

SIMON

At any rate it is best to stay awake myself and keep watch. I'll get up from time to time and go all about the whole house. Who is that? I see you, burglar . . . oh! no, you are only a pillar, it is allright. Ill dig up my gold and count it again, for fear I made a mistake yesterday. There, now, somebody made a noise: he’s after me, of course. I am beleaguered and plotted against by all the world. Where is my sword? If I find anyone ... Let us bury the gold again.

COCK

Well, Micyllus, that is the way Simon lives. Let’s o and visit someone else while there is still a little of the night left.

MICYLLUS

Unfortunate man, what a life he leads! I wish my enemies wealth on those terms! Well, I want to hit him over the head before I go.

SIMON

Who hit me? I’m being robbed, unlucky that I am!

MICYLLUS

Groan and lie awake and grow like your gold in colour, cleaving fast to it! Let’s go and see Gnipho the money-lender, if you don’t mind. He

too lives not far off. This door has opened to us also.