The Dream, or the Cock (11-15)

MICYLLUS

I was getting ready to go away, but he turned my way and hesitated a good while, and then, as he saw that I was very: downeast, said: “You come in too, Micyllus, and dine with us. Tl make my son eat with his mother in the women’s quarters so that you may have room.” I went in, therefore, after coming within an ace of licking my lips for nothing, like the wolf[*]; I was ashamed, however, because I seemed to have driven Eucrates’ boy out of the dining-room.

When it was time to go to the table, first of all they picked Thesmopolis up and put him in place, not without some difficulty, though there were five stout lads, I think, to do it; and they stuffed eushions all round about him so that he could maintain his position and hold out for a long time. Then, as nobody else could endure to lie near him, they took me and put me in the place below him, making us neighbours at table. Then, Pythagoras, we began eating a dinner of many courses and great variety, served on gold and silver plate in profusion,

and there were goblets of gold and handsome waiters and musicians and clowns withal. In short, we were delightfully entertained, except for one thing that annoyed me beyond measure: Thesmopolis kept bothering me and talking to me about virtue, whatever that may be, and teaching me that two negatives make an affirmative, and that if it is day it is not night; and sometimes he actually said that I had horns.[*] By philosophizing with me incessantly after that fashion when I had no mind for it, he spoiled and diminished my pleasure, not allowing me to hear the performers who were playing and singing. Well, there you have your dinner, cock.

COCK

It was not of the pleasantest, Micyllus, as your lot was cast with that silly old man.

MICYLLUS

Now listen to my dream. I thought that Eucrates himself had somehow become childless and lay dying, and that, after sending for me and making a will in which I was heir to everything, he lingered a while and then died. On entering into possession of the property, I dipped up the gold and the silver in great bowlfuls, for there was an ever-flowing, copious stream of it; and all the rest, too—the ‘clothing and tables and cups and waiters—all was mine, ot course. Then I drove out behind a pair of white horses, holding my head high, the admiration and the envy of all beholders; many ran before me and rode beside me, and still more followed after me, and I with his clothing on and my fingers covered with

heavy rings, fully sixteen of them, was giving orders for a splendid feast to be prepared for the entertainment of my friends. In a moment they were there, as is natural in a dream, and the dinner was being served, and the drinking-bout was under way. While I was thus engaged and was drinking healths with each person there out of golden cups, just as the dessert was being brought in you lifted up your voice unseasonably, and disturbed our party, upset the tables and caused that wealth of mine to be scattered to the winds. Now do you think I was unreasonable in getting angry at you, when I should have been glad to see the dream last for three nights?

COCK

Are you such a lover of gold and of riches, Micyllus, and is owning quantities of gold the only thing in the world that you admire and consider blissful?

MICYLLUS

I am not the only ‘one to do so, Pythagoras: you yourself, when you were Euphorbus, sallied forth to fight the Achaeans with your curls tricked out in gold and silver, and even in war, where it would have been better to wear iron, you thought fit to face danger with your hair caught up with gold.[*] No doubt Homer said that your hair was “like the Graces” because “it was snooded with gold and with silver”; for it looked far finer and lovelier, of course, when it was interwoven with gold and shone in unison with it. And yet as far as you are concerned, Goldenhair, it is of little moment that you, the son of a Panthous, honoured gold, but what of the father

of gods and of men, the son of Cronus and Rhea? When he was in love with that slip ofa girl in Argos, not having anything more attractive to change himself into nor any other means of corrupting the sentries of Acrisius, he turned into gold, as you, of course, have heard, and came down through the roof to visit his beloved. Then what is the use of my telling you the rest of it—how many uses gold has, and how, when people have it, it renders them handsome and wise and strong, lending them honour and esteem, and not infrequently it makes inconspicuous and contemptible people admired and renowned in a short time?

MICYLLUS

For instance, you know my neighbour, of the same trade, Simon, who dined with me not long ago when I boiled the soup for Cronus-day and put in two slices of sausage?

COCK

Yes, I know him; the snub-nosed, short fellow who filched the earthen bowl and went away with it under his arm after dinner, the only bowl we had— I myself saw him, Micyllus.

MICYLLUS

So it was he that stole it and then swore by so many gods that he did not? But why didn’t you cry out and tell on him then, cock, when you saw us being plundered?

COCK

I crowed, and that was all that I could do at the time. But what about Simon? You seemed to be going to say something about him.

MICYLLUS

He had a cousin who was enormously rich, named Drimylus. This fellow while he was alive never gave

apenny to Simon—why should he, when he himself did not touch his money? But since his death the other day all his property is Simon’s by law, and now he, the man with the dirty rags, the man that used to lick the pot, takes the air pleasantly, dressed in fine woollens and royal purple, the owner of servants and carriages and golden cups and_ ivory-legged tables, receiving homage from everybody and no longer even giving a glance at me. Recently, for example, I saw him coming toward me and said, “Good-day, Simon’; but he replicd: “Tell that pauper not to abbreviate my name; it is not Simon but Simonides.”[*]1 What is more, the women are actually in love with him now, and he flirts with them and slights them, and when he receives some and is gracious to them the others threaten to hang themselves on account of his neglect. You see, don’t you, what blessings gold is able to bestow, when it transforms ugly people and renders them lovely, like the girdle in poetry?[*] And you have heard the poets say: “O gold, thou choicest treasure,”[*] and

Tis gold that over mortal men doth rule.

Source unknown; Nauck, ibid., adesp. 294. But why did you interrupt me by laughing, cock?

COCK

Because in your ignorance, Micyllus, you have gone just as far astray as most people in regard to the rich. Take my word for it, they live a much

more wretched life than we. I who talk to you have been both poor and rich repeatedly, and have tested every kind of life: after a little you shall hear about it all.

MICYLLUS

Yes, by Heaven, it is high time now for you to talk and tell me how you got transformed and what you know of each existence.

COCK

Listen; but first let me tell you thus much, that I have never seen anyone leading a happier life than you.

MICYLLUS

Than I, cock? I wish you no better luck yourself! You force me to curse you, you know. But begin with Euphorbus and tell me how you were transformed to Pythagoras, and then the rest of it till you get to the cock: for it is likely that you have seen many sights and had many adventures in your multifarious existences.