Zeus the Tragedian (9-11)

Poseidon

Now, Hermes, is this just, to let this

dog-headed Egyptian take precedence of me, Poseidon?

Hermes

No, Earthshaker; but, you see, Lysippos made you of bronze and poor because the Corinthians had no gold at the time, and Anoubis is whole mines richer than you. So you must e'en put up with being shoved aside, and not lose your temper if a god with such a great golden muzzle as his has been preferred to you.

Aphrodite

Take me, too, then, Hermes, and place me somewhere in the front rows, for I am golden.

Hermes

Not as far as I can see, Aphrodite. Unless I am exceedingly blear-eyed, you were quarried out of the white stone of Pentele, and then, at the good pleasure of Praxiteles, you became Aphrodite and were handed over to the Knidians.

Aphrodite

But I will furnish you a trustworthy referee in Homer, who, up and down in his poetry, declares me "golden Aphrodite."

Hermes

Oh, Homer says that Apollo, too, is full of gold and rich, but now you will see him sitting somewhere in the worst seats, for the robbers took his crown and stripped the pegs from his lyre. So you may congratulate yourself that you are not placed down among the servants.

Kolossos

I imagine that no one will venture to vie with me, for I am Helios, and as you see for

size. For if the Rhodians had not seen fit to make me abnormally large they could have made sixteen golden gods for the same money. So I ought to be considered proportionately rich. And I exhibit art, too, and accurate workmanship, in spite of my great stature.

Hermes

What is to be done, Zeus? This case, too, is certainly a hard one to decide, for if I regard his material, he is bronze; but if I compute how much money it cost to forge him, he ranks above the highest class.

Zeus

Why need he be here, anyhow, to comment on the smallness of other people and give trouble about his seat? However, O mightiest of the Rhodians, even you take rank never so much above the golden gods, how could you take your seat before them unless you ask them all to get up? If you were to sit down you would fill the whole Pnyx. So you would do better to stand during the meeting and bend over the assembly.