Zeus the Tragedian (6-10)

Zeus Well done, Hermes. You could not have summoned them better, and the proof is that they are gathering already. So, receive them and seat them according to the value of each in material or workmanship; that is to say, the golden in the seats of honor, next to these the silver ones, then those of ivory, then those of bronze or stone; and in this class preference is to be given to the works of Pheidias and Alkamenes and Myron and Euphranor and artists of their rank. But thrust these vulgar ones, the work of bunglers, together on one side, and let them confine themselves to silently making a quorum.

Hermes Very well. They shall take their seats in proper order. But I ought to know this: if one of them is of gold or of great weight but not well executed-in fact actually amateur's work and out of drawing—is he to take his seat in front of the bronzes of Myron and Polykleitos, and the marbles of Pheidias and Alkamenes, or is preference to be given to workmanship?

Zeus It ought to be; but, nevertheless, the gold must take precedence.

Hermes I see. Your orders are that they shall take their seats in order of wealth rather than in order of merit, in proportion to their taxable property. Come to the front seats, then, you golden ones!

It looks as though the barbarians would have the front seats to themselves. The Greeks, at any rate, are, as you see, graceful and goodly of aspect and shaped with skill, but they are all alike, of wood or stone, except the very most valuable of them, and they are ivory with something of golden decoration. But they are merely colored and plated with it, and within they, too, are wooden, and give shelter to whole droves of mice who inhabit them. But Bendis here, and Anoubis and Attis beside him, and Mithres and Men are of solid gold, heavy, and really valuable.

Poseidon Now, Hermes, is this just, to let this

Hermes No, Earthshaker; but, you see, Lysippos made you of bronze and poor because the Corinthians had no gold at the time, and Anoubis is whole mines richer than you. So you must e'en put up with being shoved aside, and not lose your temper if a god with such a great golden muzzle as his has been preferred to you.

Aphrodite Take me, too, then, Hermes, and place me somewhere in the front rows, for I am golden.

Hermes Not as far as I can see, Aphrodite. Unless I am exceedingly blear-eyed, you were quarried out of the white stone of Pentele, and then, at the good pleasure of Praxiteles, you became Aphrodite and were handed over to the Knidians.

Aphrodite But I will furnish you a trustworthy referee in Homer, who, up and down in his poetry, declares me "golden Aphrodite."

Hermes Oh, Homer says that Apollo, too, is full of gold and rich, but now you will see him sitting somewhere in the worst seats, for the robbers took his crown and stripped the pegs from his lyre. So you may congratulate yourself that you are not placed down among the servants.