Zeus the Tragedian (21-25)

Momos

And now, Zeus, give me an honest answer to a question-for we are alone, and there is no mortal present in the assembly, except Herakles and Dionysos and Ganymedes and Asklepios, who have somehow got naturalized among us—have you ever paid enough attention to the people on earth to distinguish the bad ones from the good? You cannot say you have. Certainly, unless Theseus on his way from Troizen to Athens had incidentally exterminated those malefactors, Skeiron and the Pine-Bender and Kerkyon and the others might have continued to live riotously by the slaughter of wayfarers, as far as you and your providence are concerned. And if Eurystheus, living in the earliest times and full of forethought, had not been moved by philanthropy to inquire into every one's affairs, and had not sent forth his servant here, an active man and keen for labors, you, Zeus, would have given small thought to the Hydra and the Stymphalian birds and the Thrakian horses and the drunken insolence of the Kentaurs.

Momos

On the contrary, if I must speak candidly, we sit and watch for just one thing, whether haply some one is sacrificing and sending up the savor of burnt-offerings beside the

altars. Everything else drifts down stream as chance carries it. Accordingly, our present experience is natural, and what we have yet in store for us, too, when little by little mortals lift their heads and find that it does them no good to offer us sacrifices and pageants. Then you will soon see your Epicurus and your Metrodoros and your Damis jeering, and the speakers on our side overcome and stopped by them. Not that Momos has much to lose if he falls into disrepute, for I was never one of the reputable ones, even while you were still prosperous and had a monopoly of the sacrifices.

Zeus

Do not mind this fellow's babble, deities, for he was always an ill-conditioned fault-finder. And, besides, in the words of the great Demosthenes, it is easy to criticise and blame and find fault-any one who likes can do that; but it is the gift of a truly sagacious counsellor to point out how the state of things may be improved, and this I am sure the rest of you will do, even if Momos holds his tongue.

Poseidon

I, as you know, am generally under water, and dwell by myself in the deep sea, doing my best to rescue mariners and forward ships and temper the winds. Nevertheless, I have a stake in things up here, too, and it is my opinion that this Damis ought to be disposed of before he comes to the contest, either by lightning or

some other means, lest his speech prevail-for you say, Zeus, that he is a plausible sort of fellow. In that way we shall show them at the same time that we take vengeance on people who say such things against us.

Zeus

Are you joking, Poseidon, or have you clean forgotten that we have nothing to do with such matters, but that the Fates weave his death for each man—for one by lightning, for another by the sword, for a third by fever or consumption? Do you suppose that if this were under my control I would have let those temple-robbers go forth unstricken from Pisa the other day, when they had cut off two locks of my hair weighing six pounds each? Or would you yourself have ignored the fisherman from Oreos who carried off your trident at Geraistos? Above all, we should seem to have lost self-control in our distress and to be afraid of Damis's arguments, and therefore to be getting rid of the man rather than to endure to confront him with Timokles. Should we not in this way seem to be winning our case merely by default?

Poseidon

Now I thought I had hit on a short cut to victory.

Zeus

Nonsense, Poseidon. Your argument is worthy of one of your own tunny-fish, positively dense. Snatch away the opponent, forsooth, so that he may die unconquered and

leave his arguments behind without attack or exposure!

Poseidon

Very well, think of something better yourselves, if you dismiss my idea with a joke about the tunnies.