Zeus Tragoedus (41-45)

Timocles

Well, but all men—ay, all nations—have acknowledged and féted Gods 3 was it all delusion?

Damis

Thank you; a timely reminder 3 national observances show better than anything else how vague religious theory is. Confusion is endless, and beliefs as many as believers. Scythia makes offerings to a scimetar, Thrace to the Samian runaway Zamolxis, Phrygia to a Month-God, Ethiopia to a Day-Goddess, Cyllene to Phales, Assyria to a dove, Persia to fire, Egypt to water. In Egypt, though, besides the universal worship of water, Mempbis has a private cult of the ox, Pelusium of the onion, other cities of the ibis or the crocodile, others again of baboon, cat, or monkey. Nay, the very villages have their specialities: one deifies the right shoulder, and another across the river the left; one a balf skull, another an earthenware bowl or platter. Come, my fine fellow, ts tt not all ridiculous?

Momus

What did I tell you, Gods? All this was sure to come out and be carefully overhauled.

Zeus. You did, Momus, and your strictures were justified; if once we come safe out of this present peril, I will try to introduce reforms.

Timocles

Infidel! where do you find the source of oracles and prophecies, if not in the Gods and their Providence?

Damis

About oracles, friend, the less said the better; I shall ask you to choose your instances, you see. Will Apollo's answer to the Lydian suit you? That was as symmetrical as a double-edged knife; or say, it faced both ways, like those Hermae which are made double, alike whether you look at front or back. Consider; will Croesus’s passage of the Halys destroy bis own realm, or Cyruss? Yet the wretched Sardian paid a long price for bis ambidextrous hexameter.

Momus

The man is realizing just my worst apprehensions, Where is our handsome musician now? Ah, there you are; go down and plead your own cause against him.

Zeus

Hush, Momus; you are murdering our feelings; it is no time for recrimination.

Timocles

Do you close your ears even to Zeus’s thunder, atheist? Da. I clearly cannot shut out the thunder; whether it is

Zeus’s thunder, you know better than I perhaps 5 you may have interviewed the Gods. Travellers from Crete tell another story: there is a tomb there with an inscribed pillar, stating that Zeus is long dead, and not going to thunder any more.

Momus

I could have told you that was coming long ago. What, Zeus? pale? and your teeth chattering?, What is the matter? You should cheer up, and treat such manikins with lofty contempt.

Zeus

Contempt? See what a number of them there is— how set against us they are already—and he has them fast by the ears.

Momus

Well, but you have only to choose, and you can let down your golden cord, and then every man of them With earth and sky and all thou canst draw up.