Zeus Rants (45-47)

TIMOCLES Then can’t you even hear Zeus when he thunders, Damis, you god-fighter ?

DAMIS Why shouldn’t I hear thunder, Timocles? But whether it is Zeus that thunders or not, you no doubt know best, coming as you do from some place or other where the gods live! However, the people who come here from Crete tell us a different tale, that a grave is pointed out there with a tombstone standing upon it which proves that Zeus cannot thunder any more, as he has been dead this long time.

MOMUS I knew far in advance that the fellow would say that. But why have you become so pale, Zeus, and why do you tremble till your teeth chatter? You should be bold and despise such mannikins.

ZEUS What’s that you say, Momus? Despise them? don’t you see how many are listening, and how they

have already been persuaded against us and he is leading them after him tethered by the ears ?

MOMUS But whenever you like, Zeus, you can let down a cord of gold and

Sway them aloft, with the earth and the sea, too, into the bargain.

Iliad8, 24.

TIMOCLES Tell me, you scoundrel, have you ever made a voyage ?

DAMIS Yes, often, Timocles.

TIMOCLES Well, you were kept in motion then, were you not, either by-the wind striking the canvas and filling the sails, or else by the rowers, but the steering was done by a single man in ‘command, who kept the vessel safe ?

DAMIS Yes, certainly.

TIMOCLES Then do you suppose that while the ship would not sail if she were not steered, this universe keeps in motion unsteered and unofficered ?

ZEUS Good! Timocles put that very shrewdly, with a valid illustration.

DAMIS Why, Timocles, you superlative admirer of the gods, in the one case you would have seen the captain always planning what had better be done and making ready beforehand and giving orders to the crew, and

the ship would contain nothing at all that was profitless and senseless, that was not wholly useful and necessary to them for their voyage. But in the other case your captain, the one who, you say, is in command of this great ship, manages nothing in a sensible or fitting way, and neither do the members of his crew; the forestay is carried aft, maybe, and both the sheets forward, the anchors are sometimes ‘of gold while the figurehead is of lead, and all the ship’s underbody is painted while her upper works are unsightly.