Zeus Rants (21-22)

I beg you here and now, Zeus, as we are alone and there is no man in our gathering except Heracles and Dionysus and Ganymede and Asclepius, these naturalized aliens—answer me truly, have you ever had enough regard for those on earth to find out

who are the good among them and who are the bad? No, you can’t say that you have! In fact, if Theseus on his way from Troezen to Athens had not incidentally done away with the marauders, as far as you and your providence are concerned nothing would hinder Sciron and Pityocamptes and Cereyon and the rest of them from continuing to live in luxury by slaughtering wayfarers. Andif Eurystheus, an upright man, full of providence, had not out of the love he bore his fellow men looked into the conditions everywhere and sent out this servant of his,[*] a hard-working fellow eager for tasks, you, Zeus, would have paid little heed to the Hydra and the Stymphalian birds and the Thracian mares and the insolence and wantonness of the Centaurs.

If you would have me speak the truth, we sit here considering just one question, whether anybody is slaying victims and burning incense at our altars ; everything else drifts with the current, swept aimlessly along. Therefore we are getting and shall continue to get no more than we deserve when men gradually begin to crane their necks upward and find out that it does them no good to sacrifice to us and hold processions. Then in a little while you shall see the Epicuruses and Metrodoruses and Damises laughing at us, and our pleaders overpowered and silenced by them. So it is for the rest of you to check and remedy all this, you who carried it so far. To me, being only Momus, it does not make much difference if I ain to be unhonoured, for even in bygone days I was not one of those in honour, while you are still fortunate and enjoy your sacrifices.