Zeus Rants (1-5)

ZEUS

Why, Hera, the circumstances of the gods are as bad as they can be, and as the saying goes, it rests on the edge of a razor whether we are still to be honoured and have our due on earth or are actually to be ignored completely and count for nothing.

HERA

It can’t be that the earth has once more given birth to giants, or that the Titans have burst their bonds and overpowered their guard, and are once more taking up arms against us?

ZEUS

Take heart: the gods have naught to fear from Hell.[*]

HERA

Then what else that is terrible can happen? Unless something of that sort is worrying you, I don’t see why you should behave in our presence like a Polus or an Aristodemus[*] instead of Zeus.

ZEUS

Why, Hera, Timocles the Stoic and Damis the Epicurean had a dispute about Providence yesterday (I don’t know how the discussion began) in the presence of a great many men of high standing, and it was that fact that annoyed me most. Damis asserted that gods did not even exist, to say nothing of overseeing or directing events, whereas Timocles, good soul that he is, tried to take our part. Then a

large crowd collected and they did not finish the conversation; they broke up after agreeing to finish the discussion another day, and now everybody is in suspense to see which will get the better of it and appear to have more truth on his side of the argument. You see the danger, don’t you? We are in a tight place, for our interests are staked on a single man, and there are only two things that can happen—we must either be thrust aside in case they conclude that we are nothing but names, or else be honoured as before if Timocles gets the better of it in the argument.

HERA

A dreadful situation in all conscience and it wasn’t for nothing, Zeus, that you ranted over it.

ZEUS

And you supposed I was thinking of some Danaé or Antiope in all this confusion! Come now, Hermes and Hera and Athena, what can we do? You too, you know, must do your share of the planning.

HERMES

Ihold the question should be laid before the people; let’s call a meeting.

HERA

I think the same as he does.

ATHENA

But I think differently, father. Let’s not stir Heaven all up and show that you are upset over the business: manage it yourself in such a way that Timocles will win in the argument and Damis will be laughed to scorn and abandon the field.

HERMES

But people won’t fail to know of it, Zeus, as the philosophers are to have their dispute in public, and they will think you a tyrant if you don't call everyone into counsel on such important matters of common concern to all.