Zeus Catechized (7-9)

CYNISCUS

You say that all things come about through the Fates?

ZEUS

Yes, I do.

CYNISCUS

And is it possible for you to change them, to unspin them?

ZEUS

Not by any means.

CYNISCUS

Then do you want me to draw the conclusion or is it patent even without my putting it into words?

ZEUS

It is patent, of course; but those who sacrifice do not do so for gain, driving a sort of bargain, forsooth, and as it were buying blessings from us; they do so simply to honour what is superior to themselves.

CYNISCUS

Even that is enough, if you yourself admit that sacrifices are not offered for any useful purpose, but by reason of the generosity of men, who honour what is superior. And yet, if one of your sophists were here, he would ask you wherein you allege the gods to be superior, when really they are fellow-

slaves with men, and subject to the same mistresses, the Fates. For their immortality will not suffice to make them seem better, since that feature certainly is far worse, because men are set free by death at least, if by nothing else, while with you gods the thing goes on to infinity and your slavery is eternal, being controlled by a long thread.[*]

ZEUS

But, Cyniscus, this eternity and infinity is blissful for us, and we live in complete happiness.

CYNISCUS

Not all of you, Zeus; circumstances are different with you as with us, and there is great confusion in them. You yourself are happy, for you are king and can draw up the earth and the sea by letting down a well-rope, so to speak, but Hephaestus is a cripple who works for his living, a blacksmith by trade, and Prometheus was actually crucified once upon a time.[*] And why should I mention your father (Cronus), who is still shackled in Tartarus? They say too that you gods fall in love and get wounded and sometimes become slaves in the households of men, as did your brother (Poseidon) in the house of Laomedon and Apollo in the house of Admetus. This does not seem to me altogether blissful; on the contrary, some few of you are probably favoured by Fate and Fortune, while others are the reverse. I say nothing of the fact that you are carried off by pirates[*] even as we are, and plundered by temple-robbers, and from very rich become very poor in a second; and many

have even been melted down before now, being of gold or silver; but of course they were fated for this.

ZEUS

See here, your talk is getting insulting, Cyniscus, and you will perhaps regret it some day.

CYNISCUS

Be chary of your threats, Zeus, for you know that nothing can happen to me which Fate has not decreed before you. I see that even the templerobbers I mentioned are not punished, but most of them escape you; it was not fated, I suppose, that they should be caught!

ZEUS

Didn’t I say you were one of those fellows that abolish Providence in debate?

CYNISCUS

You are very much afraid of them, Zeus, I don’t know why. At any rate, you think that everything I say is one of their tricks.