Zeus Catechized (16-19)

Why in the world is it that, letting off the temple-robbers and pirates and so many who are insolent and violent and forsworn, you repeatedly blast an oak or a stone or the mast of a harmless ship, and now and then an honest and pious wayfarer?[*] Why are you silent, Zeus? Isn’t it permitted me to know this, either ?

ZEUS No, Cyniscus. You are a meddler, and I can’t conceive where you got together all this stuff that you bring me.

CYNISCUS Then I am not to put my other question to you and to Providence and Destiny, why in the world is it that honest Phocion and Aristides before him died in so great poverty and want, while Callias and Alcibiades, a lawless pair of lads, and high-handed Midias and Charops of Aegina, a lewd fellow who starved his mother to death, were all exceeding rich ; and again, why is it that Socrates was given over to the Eleven instead of Meletus, and that Sardanapalus, ffeminate as he was, occupied the throne, while Goches,[*] a man of parts, was crucified by him because ie did not like what went on—

not to speak in detail f the present state of affairs, when the wicked and he selfish are happy and the good are driven about

from pillar to post, caught in the pinch of poverty and disease and other ills without number ?

ZEUS Why, don’t you know, Cyniscus, what punishments await the wicked when life is over, and in what happiness the good abide ?

CYNISCUS Do you talk to me of Hades and of Tityus and Tantalus and their like? For my part, when I die I shall find out for certain whether there is really any such thing, but for the present I prefer to live out my time in happiness, however short it may be, and then have my liver torn by sixteen vultures after my death, rather than go as thirsty as Tantalus here on earth and do my drinking in the Isles of the Blest, lying at my ease among the heroes in the Elysian Fields.

ZEUS What’s that you say? Don’t you believe that there are any punishments and rewards, and a court where each man’s life is scrutinized !

CYNISCUS I hear that somebody named Minos, a Cretan, acts as judge in such matters down below. And please answer me a question on his behalf, for he is your son, they say.

ZEUS What have you to ask him, Cyniscus?

CYNISCUS Whom does he punish principally ?

ZEUS wicked, of course, such as murderers and temple-robbers.

CYNISCUS And whom does he send to join the heroes ?

ZEUS Those who were good and pious and lived virtuously.

CYNISCUS Why is that, Zeus?

ZEUS Because the latter deserve reward and the former punishment.

CYNISCUS But if a man should do a dreadful thing unintentionally, would he think it right to punish him like the others ?

ZEUS Not by any means.

CYNISCUS I suppose, then, if a man did something good unintentionally, he would not think fit to reward him, either ?

ZEUS Certainly not!

CYNISCUS Then, Zeus, he ought not to reward or punish anyone.

ZEUS Why not?

CYNISCUS Because we men do nothing of our own accord. but only at the behest of some inevitable necessity, if what you previously admitted is true, that Fate is the cause of everything If a man slay, it is she who slays, and if he rob temples, he only does it

under orders. Therefore if Minos were to judge justly, he would punish Destiny instead of Sisyphus and Fate instead of Tantalus, for what wrong did they do in obeying orders?

ZEUS It isn’t proper to answer you any longer when you ask such questions. You are an impudent fellow and a sophist, and I shall go away and leave you now. ;

CYNISCUS I wanted to ask you just this one question, where the Fates live and how they go into such minute detail in attending to so much business, when there are only three of them. There is much labour and little- good-fortune in the life they live, I think, with all the cares they have, and Destiny, it would appear, was not too gracious when they themselves were born. At any rate if I were given a chance to choose, I would not exchange my life for theirs, but should prefer to be still poorer all my days rather than sit and twirl a spindle freighted with so many events, watching each carefully. But if it is not easy for you to answer me these questions, Zeus, I shall content myself with the answers you have given, for they are full enough to throw light on the doctrine of Destiny and Providence. The rest, perhaps, I was not fated to hear !