The Carousal, or the Lapiths (46-48)

LYCINUS

At last Alcidamas knocked over the lamp-stand and brought on profound darkness, and as you can imagine, the situation became far worse, for it was not easy for them to provide more light, while on the other hand many dire deeds were done in the darkness. When some one finally came in with a

lamp, Alcidamas was caught stripping the flute-girl and trying to ravish her, while Dionysodorus was found to have done something else that was ridiculous, for as he got up a bowl fell out of the folds of his cloak. Then by way of clearing himself he said that Ion had picked it up in the confusion and had given it to him, so that it might not get lost; and Ion considerately said that he had done so.

LYCINUS

Thereupon the dinner-party broke up. After the tears, it had ended in a new burst of laughter over Alcidamas, Dionysodorus and Ion. The wounded men were carried away in sorry condition, especially the old man Zenothemis, who had one hand on his nose and the other on his eye and was shouting that he was dying with pain, so that Hermon, in spite of his own sad plight (for he had had two teeth knocked out) called attention to it and said: “Just remember, Zenothemis, that you do consider pain of some cunsequence, after all!” The bridegroom, after his wound had been dressed by Dionicus, was taken home with his head wrapped in bandages, in the carriage in which he had expected to take away his bride; it was a bitter wedding that he celebratcd, poor fellow! As for the rest, Dionicus did the best he could for them and they were taken of to bed, most of them vomiting in the streets. But Alcidamas stayed right there, for they could not turn the man out, once he had thrown himself down crosswise on the couch and gone to sleep.

LYCINUS

Well, Philo, that was the end of the dinner-party: it would be better, though, to say at the close as they do in the plays of Euripides:

In many shapes appear the powers above,

And many things the gods surprise us with,

While those we look for do not come about.[*]

For all of it, you know, was quite unexpected. This much, however, I have at last learned, that it is not safe for a man of peace to dine with men so learned.