The Carousal, or the Lapiths (1-5)

PHILO

They say you had all kinds of sport yesterday, Lycinus, at the house of Aristaenetus, at dinner, and that several speeches on philosophy were made, out of which quite a quarrel arose. Unless Charinus was lying, the affair even ended in wounds and the party was finally broken up by the shedding of blood.

LYCINUS

Now how did Charinus know that, Philo? He did not dine with us.

PHILO

He said that Dionicus, the doctor, told “him. Dionicus, I suppose, was one of the guests.

LYCINUS

Yes, to be sure; but even he was not there for all of it, from the very beginning: it was late and the battle was about half over when he came on the scene, a little before the wounds. So I am surprised that he could give a clear account of any of it, as he did not witness what led up to the quarrel that ended in bloodshed.

PHILO

True, Lycinus; and for that very reason Charinus told us, if we wanted to hear the truth of it and all the details, to come to you, saying that Dionicus

himself had said that he was not there for all ot it, but that you knew exactly what had happened and could actually recite the speeches, being, as you are, an attentive and not a careless listener to such discussions. So do hurry and give us this most delightful entertainment—-for none, I am sure, could »be more delightful, at least to me, especially as we ‘shall enjoy a peaceful and bloodless entertainment, without intemperance and out of range of missiles, whether it was old men or young who misconducted themselves at dinner, led on by strong drink to do and say what they should not.

LYCINUS

It was rather a silly affair, Philo, and yet you want me to publish it abroad and tell what happened when heads were turned with wine, when it all should be forgotten and the whole business put down'to a god— . Dionysus, I mean, who scarcely permits anyone to remain uninitiated in his rites and a stranger to his revels. Don’t you think it rather bad form to enquire into such matters minutely? The proper thing is to leave them behind you in the diningroom when you go away. As you know, there is a saying from the poets: “I hate to drink with him that hath a memory.” [*] And Dionicus did not do right, either, to blab it all to Charinus and besprinkle philosophers with the copious dregs of their stale cups. As for me—get out with you! I shan’t tell you anything of the kind!

PHILO

That is all put on, Lycinus. But you needn’t have acted that way with me, for I know very well that

you are much more eager to talk than I to listen, and I have an idea that if you had nobody to listen to you, you would enjoy going up to a pillar or a statue and pouring it all out in a stream, without a pause. In fact, if I should wish to go away now, you would not let me go untold, but would hold me and follow me and entreat me. And now I am going to take my turn at putting on. (Turns to‘another friend.) If you like, let’s go and find out about it from someone else. (To Lyctnus.) You may keep your story to yourself!

LYCINUS

Don’t get angry! I will tell you, since you are so anxious, but don’t you tell a lot of people.

PHILO

If I have not forgotten all I know of you, Lycinus, you will do that better than I can, and you will lose no time in telling everybody, so that I shan’t be needed.

PHILO

But first tell me one thing—was it to celebrate the wedding of his son Zeno that Aristaenetus entertained you?

LYCINUS

No, he was marrying his daughter Cleanthis to the son of Eucritus the banker, the lad who is studying philosophy.

PHILO

A very good-looking lad, to be sure; still immature, though, and hardly old enough to be married.

LYCINUS

But he could not find anyone who suited him better, I suppose. As this boy seemed to be mannerly and had taken an interest in philosophy,

and also as he was the only son of Eucritus, who is rich, he preferred him to all the rest as a husband for his daughter.

PHILO

You give a very good reason in saying that Eucritus is rich. But come, Lycinus, who were the people at dinner?