Demonax (51-55)

His remark to the proconsul was at once clever and cutting. This man was one of the sort that use pitch to remove hair from their legs and their whole bodies. When a Cynic mounted a stone and charged him with this, accusing him of effeminacy, he was angry, had the fellow hauled down and was on the point of confining him in the stocks or even sentencing him to exile. But Demonax, who was passing by, begged him to pardon the man for making bold to speak his mind in the traditional Cynic way. The proconsul said: “Well, I will let him off for you this time, but if he ever dares to do such a thing again, what shall be done to him?” "Have him depilated!" said Demonax.

One to whom the emperor had entrusted the command of legions and of the most important province asked Demonax what was the best way to exercise authority. “Don’t lose your temper!” said he: “Do little talking and much listening!”

When someone asked him: “Do you eat honeycakes?”’ he replied: “What! do you think the bees lay up their honey just for fools?”

On seeing near the Painted Porch a statue with its hand cut off, he remarked that it was pretty late in the day for the Athenians to be honouring Cynegirus [*] with a bronze statue.

Noting that Rufinus the Cypriote (I mean the ‘lame man of the school of Aristotle) was spending much time in the walks of the Lyceum, he remarked: “Pretty cheeky, I call it—a lame Peripatetic (Stroller)!”