Demonax (11-15)

Hence all Athens, high and low, admired him enormously and always viewed him as a superior being. Yet in office he ran counter to public opinion and won from the masses quite as much hatred as his prototype[*] by his freedom of speech and action. He too had his Anytus and his Meletus who combined against him and brought the same charges that their predecessors brought against Socrates, asserting that he had never been known to sacrifice and was the only man in the community uninitiated in the Eleusinian mysteries. In reply to this, with right good [*]

I should like to cite a few of his well-directed and witty remarks, and may as well begin with Favorinus [*] and what he said to him. When Favorinus was told by someone that Demonax was making fun of his lectures and particularly of the laxity of their rhythm, saying that it was vulgar and effeminate and not by any means appropriate to philosophy, he went to Demonax and asked him: “Who are you to libel my compositions?” “A

Another time the same man went to him and asked what philosophical school he favoured most. Demonax replied: “Why, who told you that I was a philosopher?” As he left, he broke into a very hearty laugh; and when Favorinus asked him what he was laughing at, he replied: “It seemed to me ridiculous that you should think a philosopher can be told by his beard when you yourself have none.”

When the Sidonian sophist [*] was once showing. his powers at Athens, and was voicing his own praise to the effect that he was acquainted with all philosophy—but I may as well cite his very words: “If Aristotle calls me to the Lyceum, I shall go with him; if Plato calls me to the Academy, I shall come; if Zeno calls, I shall spend my time in the Stoa; if Pythagoras calls, I shall hold my tongue.” [*] Well, Demonax arose in the midst of the audience and said: “Ho” (addressing him by name), “Pythagoras is calling you!”

When a handsome young fellow named Pytho, who belonged to one of the aristocratic families in Macedonia, was quizzing him, putting a catchquestion to him and asking him to tell the logical answer, he said: “I know thus much, my boy— it’s a poser, and so are you!” Enraged at the pun, the other said threateningly: “I'll show you in short order that you’ve a man to deal with!”