Loukios, or the Ass (15-19)

I was an ass in all other

respects, but I had the heart and mind of a man -the same Loukios, but not his voice. Well, heaping silent reproaches on Palaistra for her mistake, and chewing my lip, I went off to where I knew my horse was stabled, together with another ass, a real one, belonging to Hipparchos. When they saw me coming in to join them they feared that I was going to share their feed, so they put back their ears and made ready to defend their bellies with their heels. I grasped the situation, and taking my stand at a distance from the manger, burst into a laugh, but my laugh was a bray. Then I said to myself: "Confound my untimely curiosity! What if a wolf should come in, too, or some other wild beast! The chances are that I shall be killed, though I have done nothing wrong." But though I reflected thus, I had no idea, poor devil! of the evil that awaited me.

When the night was already far advanced, with its great silence and sweet sleep, there was a noise from without as though the wall were being broken through, and so it was. There was a hole already large enough to admit a man, and one man after another made his way through it promptly until a number were inside, swords in hand. Then they tied up Hipparchos and Palaistra and my man in their rooms, and so stripped the house fearlessly, carrying out the money and

the clothes and the furniture. When there was nothing more left in it, they took me and the other ass and the horse, saddled us, and strapped all they had stolen onto us. Laden with these heavy loads, they drove us up the mountain by an untrodden road, beating us with clubs, and bent on escaping. I am not able to describe the feelings of the other beasts, but I, for my part-barefoot, inexperienced, treading on sharp stones, and bearing so much stuff-was ready to die. Every now and then I stumbled, but I was not at liberty to fall down, for some one from behind would instantly give me a blow across the haunches with a club; and when I frequently longed to cry, "O Caesar!" I could do nothing but bray. I could bring out the "O" full and loud, but the "Caesar" would not follow. And even for this they clubbed me, because they thought my braying would betray them. So, when I found that my cries were in vain, I resolved to go on in silence, with the gain, at least, of not being beaten.

After this day came, and we had already climbed many mountains. They muzzled us so that we might not browse along the road for our breakfasts and thus be caught; so for that day, too, I remained an ass. At high noon we halted at a sort of farm-house belonging to people who were friends of the robbers, to judge from what happened, for they greeted each other with kisses,

and the owners of the house bade the others halt, and set breakfast before them and gave us animals barley. The others breakfasted, but I fasted in misery. Since I had never at that time breakfasted on raw barley, I looked around to see what I could eat. I saw a garden there behind the court-yard, full of fine vegetables, and above these I saw roses. In the house they were all occupied with their breakfast, and I managed to give them the slip and get to the garden, partly to eat my fill of raw vegetables, and partly for the sake of the roses, for I calculated that if I ate those flowers I should certainly become a man again. When I had made my way into the garden I stuffed myself with lettuces, and radishes, and parsley, such vegetables as men are wont to eat raw; but those roses were not real ones, they were such as grow on the wild laurel. The plant is called rose-laurel, and it makes a poor breakfast for any ass or horse, for it is said that if they eat it they die on the spot.

In the mean time the gardener perceived me, snatched up a club, and ran into the garden. When he saw the enemy, the destroyer of his vegetables, he seized me as a severe master seizes a thieving slave and pounded me with his club, sparing neither ribs nor thighs. He even crushed my ears and mangled my face. When I could stand it no longer I kicked with both feet,

knocked him on his back on top of the vegetables, and ran for the mountain. Seeing me making off at a run he shouted that they were to loose the dogs on my trail. The dogs were numerous and large enough to fight with bears, and I knew that if they caught me they would tear me to pieces. So after I had made a short detour I decided that the proverb is right, "better run back than into trouble," and accordingly I started back and made my way to the farm again. They captured the dogs who had been chasing me, and tied them up, but me they beat and did not stop until in my agony I had cast up all the vegetables.

When it was time to take to the road again they also heaped most of the booty and the heaviest on me, and this having been arranged we set out. I was soon exhausted, what with my beating and with carrying my load, and my hoofs were crushed by the road. At this point I made up my mind. to fall down where I was and never get up again, though they beat me to death, for I hoped great gain from this if my plan should work. My idea was that they would give up in despair, divide my load between the horse and the mule, and leave me to lie there for the wolves. But some jealous divinity perceived my plans and made them work just the other way. For the other ass followed the same train of thought as mine and fell down in the

road. First they took to beating the poor wretch, bidding him get up; but as he did not respond at all to the blows, some of them took hold of his ears and some of his tail and tried to rouse him. When they were unsuccessful in this, and he lay like a stone in the road, utterly worn out, they argued among themselves that their efforts were useless, and that they were wasting their time for escape sitting by a dead ass; so they took all the gear he had been carrying and divided it between me and the horse. As for the wretched partner of my captivity and burdens, they laid hold of him, cut the sinews of his legs with a sword, and thrust him still quivering over the precipice, and down he went, dancing the death-dance.