On His Return (7)

Owing to—shall I say my own youthful folly, or the influence of others who persuaded me into such a piece of madness?[*]—I was luckless enough to be forced to choose between two of the most painful alternatives imaginable. On the one hand, I could refuse to disclose the authors of the outrage. In that case I not only trembled for my own fate, but caused the death of my father, who was entirely innocent, as well as my own—he was inevitably doomed, if I refused to speak. On the other hand, I could purchase my own life and liberty and avoid becoming my father’s murderer—and what would a man not bring himself to do to escape that?—but only by turning informer.