To Demonicus (41-45)

Always when you are about to say anything, first weigh it in your mind; for with many the tongue outruns the thought.[*] Let there be but two occasions for speech—when the subject is one which you thoroughly know and when it is one on which you are compelled to speak. On these occasions alone is speech better than silence; on all others, it is better to be silent than to speak.

Consider that nothing in human life is stable;[*] for then you will not exult overmuch in prosperity, nor grieve overmuch in adversity.[*] Rejoice over the good things which come to you, but grieve in moderation over the evils which befall you, and in either case do not expose your heart to others;[*] for it were strange to hide away one’s treasure in the house, and yet walk about laying bare one’s feelings to the world.

Be more careful in guarding against censure than against danger; for the wicked may well dread the end of life, but good men should dread ignominy during life. Strive by all means to live in security,[*] but if ever it falls to your lot to face the dangers of battle, seek to preserve your life, but with honor and not with disgrace; for death is the sentence which fate has passed on all mankind, but to die nobly is the special honor which nature has reserved for the good.

Do not be surprised that many things which I have said do not apply to you at your present age. For I also have not overlooked this fact, but I have deliberately chosen to employ this one treatise, not only to convey to you advice for your life now, but also to leave with you precepts for the years to come; for you will then readily perceive the application of my precepts, but you will not easily find a man who will give you friendly counsel. In order, therefore, that you may not seek the rest from another source, but that you may draw from this as from a treasure-house, I thought that I ought not to omit any of the counsels which I have to give you.

And I shall be most grateful to the gods if I am not disappointed in the opinion which I have of you. For, while we find that the great majority of other men seek the society of those friends who join them in their follies and not of those who admonish them, just as they prefer the most pleasant to the most wholesome food,[*] you, I think, are minded otherwise, as I judge from the industry you display in your general education. For when one sets for himself the highest standard of conduct, it is probable that in his relation to others he will approve only of those who exhort him to virtue.