Whether land or sea animals are cleverer (7-10)

AUTOBULUS. This, my friend, has been spoken from the heart. [*] We certainly must not allow philosophers, as though they were women in difficult labour, to put about their necks a charm for speedy delivery so that they may bring justice to birth for us easily and without hard labour. For they themselves do not concede to Epicurus,[*] for the sake of the highest considerations, a thing so small and trifling as the slightest deviation of a single atom-which would permit the stars and living creatures to slip in by chance and would preserve from destruction the principle of free will. But, seeing that they bid him demonstrate whatever is not obvious or take as his starting-point something that is obvious, how are they in any position to make this statement about animals[*] a basis of their own account of justice, when it is neither generally accepted nor otherwise demonstrated by them?[*] For justice has another way to establish itself, a way which is neither so treacherous nor so precipitous, nor is it a route lined with the wreckage of obvious truths. It is the road which, under the guidance of Plato,[*] my son and your companion,[*] Soclarus, points out to those who have no love of wrangling, but are willing to be led and to learn. For certain it is that Empedocles[*] and Heraclitus[*] accept as true the charge that man is not altogether innocent of injustice when he treats animals as he does; often and often do they lament and exclaim against Nature, declaring that she is Necessity and War, that she contains nothing unmixed and free from tarnish, that her progress is marked by many unjust inflictions. As an instance, say. even birth itself springs from injustice, since it is a union of mortal with immortal, and the offspring is nourished unnaturally on members torn from the parent.

These strictures, however, seem to be unpalatably strong and bitter; for there is an alternative, an inoffensive formula which does not, on the one hand, deprive beasts of reason, yet does, on the other, preserve the justice of those who make fit use of them. When the wise men of old had introduced this, gluttony joined luxury to cancel and annul it; Pythagoras,[*] however, reintroduced it, teaching us how to profit without injustice. There is no injustice, surely, in punishing and slaying animals that are anti-social and merely injurious, while taming those that are gentle and friendly to man and making them our helpers in the tasks for which they are severally fitted by nature[*]:

Offspring of horse and ass and seed of bulls

which Aeschylus’[*] Prometheus says that he bestowed on us

To serve us and relieve our labours;

and thus we make use of dogs as sentinels and keep herds of goats and sheep that are milked and shorn.[*] For living is not abolished nor life terminated when a man has no more platters of fish or pate de foie gras or mincemeat of beef or kids’ flesh for his banquets[*] - or when he no longer, idling in the theatre or hunting for sport, compels some beasts against their will to stand their ground and fight, while he destroys others which have not the instinct to fight back even in their own defence. For I think sport should be joyful and between playmates who are merry on both sides, not the sort of which Bion[*] spoke when he remarked that boys throw stones at frogs for fun, but the frogs don’t die for fun, but in sober earnest.[*] Just so, in hunting and fishing, men amuse themselves with the suffering and death of animals, even tearing some of them piteously from their cubs and nestlings. The fact is that it is not those who make use of animals who do them wrong, but those who use them harmfully and heedlessly and in cruel ways.

SOCLARUS. Restrain yourself, Autobulus, and turn off the flow of these accusations.[*] I see a good many gentlemen approaching who are all hunters; you will hardly convert them and you needn’t hurt their feelings.

AUTOBULUS. Thanks for the warning. Eubiotus, however, I know quite well and my cousin Ariston, and Aeacides and Aristotimus here, the sons of Dionysius of Delphi, and Nicander, the son of Euthydamus, all of them expert, as Homer[*] expresses it, in the chase by land - and for this reason they will be on Aristotimus’ side. So too yonder comes Phaedimus with the islanders and coast-dwellers about him, Heracleon from Megara and the Euboean Philostratus,

Whose hearts are on deeds of the sea.[*]

And here is my contemporary Optatus: like Diomedes, it is

Hard to tell the side on which he ranges,[*]

for with many a trophy from the sea, many likewise from the chase on the mountain, he has glorified [*] the goddess[*] who is at once the Huntress and Dictynna. It is evident that he is coming to join us with no intention of attaching himself to either side. Or am I wrong, my dear Optatus, in supposing that you will be an impartial and neutral umpire between the young men ?

OPTATUS. It is just as you suppose, Autobulus. Solon’s[*] law, which used to punish those who adhered to neither side in a factious outbreak, has long since fallen into disuse.

AUTOBULUS. Come over here, then, and take your place beside us so that, if we need evidence, we shall not have to disturb the tomes of Aristotle,[*] but may follow you as expert and return a true verdict on the arguments.

SOCLARUS. Well then, my young friends, have you reached any agreement on procedure ?

PHAEDIMUS. We have, Soclarus, though it occasioned considerable controversy; but at length, as Euripides[*] has it,

The lot, the child of chance,

made arbiter, admits into court the case of the land animals before that of creatures from the sea.

SOCLARUS. The time has come, then, Aristotimus, for you to speak and us to hear.

ARISTOTIMUS. The court is open for the litigants⋯[*] And there are some fish that waste their milt by pursuing the female while she is laying her eggs.[*]

There is also a type of mullet called the grayfish[*] which feeds on its own slime[*]; and the octopus sits through the winter devouring himself,

In fireless home and domicile forlorn,[*]

so lazy or insensible or gluttonous, or guilty of all of these charges, is he. So this also is the reason, again, why Plato[*] in his Laws enjoined, or rather prayed, that his young men might not be seized by a love for sea hunting. For there is no exercise in bravery or training in skill or anything that contributes to strength or fleetness or agility when men endure toil in contests with bass or conger or parrot-fish; whereas, in the chase on land, brave animals give play to the courageous and danger-loving qualities of those matched against them, crafty animals sharpen the wits and cunning of their attackers, while swift ones train the strength and perseverance of their pursuers. These are the qualities which have made hunting a noble sport, whereas there is nothing glorious about fishing. No, and there’s not a god, my friend, who has allowed himself to be called conger-killer, as Apollo is wolf-slayer, [*] or surmullet-slayer, as Artemis[*] is deer-slaying. [*] And what is surprising in this when it’s a more glorious thing for a man to have caught a boar or a stag or, so help me, a gazelle or a hare than to have bought one ? As for your tunny[*] and your mackerel and your boriito ! They’re more honourable to buy than to catch oneself. For their lack of spirit or of any kind of resource or cunning has made the sport dishonourable, unfashionable, and illiberal.

ARISTOTIMUS. In general, then, the evidence by which the philosophers demonstrate that beasts have their share of reason is their possession of purpose[*] and preparation and memory and emotions and care for their young[*] and gratitude for benefits and hostility to what has hurt them; to which may be added their ability to find what they need and their manifestations of good qualities, such as courage[*] and sociability and continence and magnanimity. Let us ask ourselves if marine creatures exhibit any of these traits, or perhaps some suggestion of them, that is extremely faint and difficult to discern (the observer only coming at long last to the opinion that it may be descried); whereas in the case of terrestrial and earth-born animals it is easy to find remarkably plain and unanswerable proofs of every one of the points I have mentioned.

In the first place, then, behold the purposeful demonstrations and preparations of bulls[*] stirring up dust when intent on battle, and wild boars whetting their tusks.[*] Since elephants’ tusks are blunted by wear when, by digging or chopping, they fell the trees that feed them, they use only one tusk for this purpose and keep the other always pointed and sharp for defence.[*] Lions[*] always walk with paws clenched and claws retracted so that these may not be dulled by wear at the point or leave a plain trail for trackers; for it is not easy to find any trace of a lion’s claw; on the contrary, any sign of a track that is found is so slight and obscure that hunters lose the trail and go astray. You have heard, I am sure, how the ichneumon[*] girds itself for battle as thoroughly as any soldier putting on his armour, such a quantity of mud does it don and plaster about its body when it plans to attack the crocodile. Moreover, we see house-martins[*] preparing for procreation: how well they lay the solid twigs at the bottom to serve as a foundation, then mould the lighter bits about them; and if they perceive that the nest needs a lump of mud to glue it together, they skim over a pond or lake, touching the water with only the tips of their feathers to make them moist, yet not heavy with dampness; then they scoop up dust and so smear over and bind together any parts that begin to sag or loosen. As for the shape of their work, it has no angles nor many sides, but is as smooth and circular as they can make it; such a shape is, in fact, both stable and capacious and provides no hold on the outside for scheming animals.[*]

There is more than one reason[*] for admiring spiders’[*] webs, the common model for both women’s looms and fowlers’[*] nets; for there is the fineness of the thread and the evenness of the weaving, which has no disconnected threads and nothing like a warp, but is wrought with the even continuity of a thin membrane and a tenacity that comes from a viscous substance inconspicuously worked in. Then too, there is the blending of the colours that gives it an airy, misty look, the better to let it go undetected; and most notable of all is the art itself, like a charioteer’s or a helmsman’s, with which the spinner handles her artifice. When a possible victim is entangled, she perceives it, and uses her wits, like a skilled handler of nets, to close the trap suddenly and make it tight. Since this is daily under our eyes and observation, my account is confirmed. Otherwise it would seem a mere fiction, as I formerly regarded the tale of the Libyan crows[*] which, when they are thirsty, throw stones into a pot to fill it and raise the water until it is within their reach; but later when I saw a dog on board ship, since the sailors were away, putting pebbles into a half empty jar of oil, I was amazed at its knowing that lighter substances are forced upward when the heavier settle to the bottom.

Similar tales are told of Cretan bees and of geese in Cilicia.[*] When the bees are going to round some windy promontory, they ballast themselves with little stones[*] so as not to be carried out to sea; while the geese, in fear of eagles, take a large stone in their beaks whenever they cross Mt. Taurus, as it were reining in and bridling their gaggling loquacity that they may pass over in silence unobserved. It is well known, too, how cranes[*] behave when they fly. Whenever there is a high wind and rough weather they do not fly, as on fine days, in line abreast or in a crescent-shaped curve; but they form at once a compact triangle with the point cleaving the gale that streams past, so that there is no break in the formation. When they have descended to the ground, the sentinels that stand watch at night support themselves on one foot and with the other grasp a stone and hold it firmly[*]; the tension of grasping this keeps them awake for a long time; but when they do relax, the stone escapes and quickly rouses the culprit.[*] So that I am not at all surprised that Heracles tucked his bow under his arm:

Embracing it with mighty arm he sleeps,

Keeping his right hand gripped about the club.[*]

Nor, again, am I surprised at the man who first guessed how to open an oyster[*] when I read of the ingenuity of herons. For they swallow a closed mussel and endure the discomfort until they know that it has been softened and relaxed by their internal heat; then they disgorge it wide open and unfolded and extract the meat.[*]