On the Control of Anger (10-14)

FUNDANUS. Just as, then, someone said of Philip[*] when he had razed Olynthus to the ground, But he could not possibly repeople a city so large, so one may address Anger and say, You are able to overturn and destroy and throw down, but to raise up and preserve and spare and forbear is the work of mildness and forgiveness and moderation in passion, the work of a Camillus or a Metellus[*] or an Aristeides or a Socrates; but to attach oneself to the wound and to sting is the part of an ant or a horse-fly. [*] As I study, however, anger’s method of defending itself, I find it for the most part ineffectual, since it spends itself in biting the lips[*] and gnashing the teeth, in vain attacks and railings coupled with senseless threats, and eventually resembles children[*] running races, who, through lack of self-control, fall down ridiculously before they reach the goal toward which they are hastening. Therefore there was point in what the Rhodian said to the Roman general’s servant who was shouting and talking insolently: What you say, said the Rhodian, matters nothing to me, but what your master doesn’t say. And Sophocles,[*] when he has armed Neoptolemus and Eurypylus, says

Without a vaunt, without reviling, they

Have rushed within the ring of brazen arms.

FUNDANUS. For although there are barbarians who poison their steel, true bravery has no need of bitter gall,[*] for it has been dipped in reason; but rage and fury are rotten and easily broken. At any rate the Spartans[*] use the playing of pipes to remove from their fighting men the spirit of anger, and they sacrifice to the Muses before battle in order that reason may remain constant within them; and when they have routed the enemy, they do not pursue,[*] but sound the recall to their high spirits, which, like small daggers,[*] are manageable and can be easily withdrawn. Yet wrath has slain thousands before its revenge was accomplished, as, for instance, Cyrus t and Pelopidas the Theban.[*] But Agathocles[*] endured with mildness the revilings of those he was besieging, and when one of them cried out, Potter, how will you get pay for your mercenaries?, Agathocles laughed and said, If I take this town. And there is the case of Antigonus,[*] who, when some men on the wall of a town jeered at him because of his deformity, said to them, Why, I thought my face was handsome! But when he took the town he sold as slaves those who jeered at him, protesting that he would have speech with their masters if they reviled him again.

FUNDANUS. I observe also that both advocates and orators commit serious mistakes because of anger; and Aristotle[*] relates that the friends of Satyrus the Samian, when he was to plead, stopped up his ears with wax, that he might not spoil his case through temper at the insults of his enemies. And as for ourselves, does it not happen often that the punishment of a delinquent slave eludes our power? For slaves are made afraid by threatening words and run away.[*] The words, therefore, which nurses use with children, Stop crying and you shall have it! may, not without benefit, be applied to temper: Stop hurrying and shouting and making haste, and you shall have what you want better and more easily! For if a father sees his son trying to cut something in two or to make a notch in it with a knife, he takes the knife himself and does it; so likewise, if reason takes upon itself the punishment which temper would inflict, it chastises the person who deserves it safely and harmlessly and for that person’s good, and does not, as temper often does, punish itself instead.[*]

FUNDANUS. But however true it is that all the passions have need of a process of habituation, which tames as it were and subdues by rigorous training the irrational and obstinate element of the soul, there is no passion that we can better learn to control by practising on servants than temper. For no envy or fear or rivalry enters into our relations with them, but frequent fits of anger bring about many conflicts and errors, and because of the absolute power we possess, there being no one to oppose or prevent us, these cause us to slide and fall, since we are, as it were, on slippery ground. For it is impossible that irresponsible power under the influence of passion should be free from error, unless he who wields this power shall encompass it with a bulwark of gentleness, and shall hold out against many pleas of wife and friends, all charging him with laxity and easy-going ways. By such charges I myself used to be very greatly exasperated against my slaves, in the conviction that they were being ruined by not being punished. At long last, however, though late it was, I came to perceive that, in the first place, it is better to make them worse by forbearance than by harshness and anger to pervert my own self for the correction of the others. In the second place, when I observed that many, just because they were not being punished, were often ashamed to be bad, and made pardon, rather than correction, the starting-point of reformation, and, I swear, performed their duties more zealously for the kind of master who gave orders silently with a nod than for the others who used blows and branding-irons, I began to be convinced that reason is more fit than anger to govern. For it is not as the Poet[*] has said,

Where fear is, there is also reverence;

but, on the contrary, in those who revere there is engendered the kind of fear that corrects behaviour, whereas continual and unmerciful beating produces, not repentance for wrongdoing, but rather the farsighted cunning to do wrong without detection. In the third place, I always keep in mind and reflect in privacy that he who taught us the use of the bow did not forbid us to shoot, but only to miss the mark,[*] and that the infliction of punishment will not be hindered by our teaching how to inflict it at the right time,[*] with moderation, and in a useful and suitable manner; and, remembering these things, I try to get rid of my anger, if possible, by not depriving those who are to be punished of the right to speak in their defence, but by listening to their plea. For both the passage of time gives a pause to passion and a delay which dissolves it, and also the judgement discovers a suitable manner of punishment and an adequate amount; furthermore, the man who suffers punishment has no pretext left for opposing the correction if punishment is inflicted, not in anger, but after the accused has been proved guilty; and finally, the most shameful thing is avoided-that the slave should seem to be making a juster plea than his master.

FUNDANUS. And so, just as Phocion[*] after Alexander’s death, trying to keep the Athenians from revolting prematurely or believing the report too quickly, said to them, If, men of Athens, he is dead to-day, he will be dead to-morrow also, and the day after; in like manner, I think, the man who, urged on by anger, is in a hurry for vengeance, should suggest to himself, If this person is guilty of wronging you to-day, he will still be guilty to-morrow also, and the day after; no harm will be done if he shall be punished somewhat late, but if he is punished in haste he will always be thought to have suffered without offending; and this has happened many times in the past. For which of us is so harsh that he scourges and chastises a slave because five or ten days ago he overroasted the meat or upset the table or carne too slowly at our bidding? And yet these are the very things which cause us to be excited and in a cruel and implacable mood at the moment they happen and are still fresh in our memory. For as the shapes of persons seen through a fog, so things seen through a mist of rage appear greater than they are.

FUNDANUS. These are the reasons why we should immediately call to mind such instances and precepts; and when we are free from all suspicion of passion, if the offence still appears evil to the clear and settled judgement, we should attend to it then and not dismiss or abandon the punishment, as we leave food when we have lost our appetite. And nothing is so much the cause of our punishing in a rage as that, when our anger is over, we do not punish, but leave things alone. We are very much like lazy oarsmen, who during calm weather lie in port, and later, at the risk of their lives, avail themselves of a wind to go sailing. And so do we condemn reason for remissness and softness in punishment and hasten on to the deed rashly and to our peril when anger, like a gale, is upon us. For while a hungry man indulges in food as nature dictates, yet punishment is indulged in by one who is not hungry or thirsty for it, nor does he need anger as a relish to stimulate him to punish; on the contrary, when he finds himself very far removed from the desire to punish, he brings up reason to reinforce him and punishes under compulsion. Aristotle[*] relates that in Etruria in his day slaves were scourged to the music of pipes. But one should not, in that spirit, through a craving for the punishment as for a kind of enjoyment, gorge oneself with it, and rejoice while inflicting chastisement and after inflicting it repent[*] - of these the first is bestial, the second womanish - but without either sorrow or pleasure one should mete out punishment in reason’s own good time, leaving anger no excuse.

FUNDANUS. However this, perhaps, will not appear to be a cure for anger, but a temporary reprieve and prophylactic[*] against those errors which some men commit in anger. And yet, though the swelling of the spleen is but a symptom of fever, reducing it assuages the fever, as Hieronymus says. But when I contemplated the origin of anger itself, I observed that different persons are liable to anger from different causes; yet in the case of practically all of them there is present a belief that they are being despised or neglected.[*] For this reason we should assist those who endeavour to avoid anger, by removing as far as possible the act that rouses wrath from any suspicion of contempt or arrogance and by imputing it to ignorance or necessity or emotion or mischance. So Sophocles[*]:

O king, not even the reason Nature gives

Stays with the unfortunate, but goes astray;

and so likewise Agamemnon[*] ascribes the taking away of Briseis to divine infatuation:

I wish again to make amends, to give

You countless ransom.

Supplication, indeed, is the act of one who does not despise; and when he that has done an injury shows himself humble, he removes all notion of contempt. But the man in a rage should not wait for such humility, but should take to himself the reply of Diogenes[*]: when someone said to him, They are laughing at you, Diogenes, he answered, But I am not laughed down. Just so the angry man should not consider himself despised, but rather despise the man who gave the offence as acting from weakness or rashness, carelessness or illiberality, dotage or childishness. But such a notion must not on any account be entertained toward servants or friends; for our servants presume on our upright character, our friends on our affection, and both disregard us, not as being impotent or ineffectual, but because of our reasonableness or our goodwill. As it is, thinking ourselves despised, we not only treat harshly wife and slaves and friends, but also through rage often fall out with innkeepers and sailors and drunken muleteers; we even rage against dogs that bark at us and asses that jostle us,[*] like the man who wished to beat the assdriver, but when the driver cried out, I am an Athenian, indicated the ass and said, You at any rate are not an Athenian, and fell to beating it with many blows.

FUNDANUS. Furthermore it is especially selfishness and peevishness, together with luxury and softness, which beget in us those continuous or oft-recurring fits of anger that are gathered together in the soul little by little, like a swarm of bees or wasps. And so there is nothing more conducive to gentleness than graciousness and simplicity toward servants and wife and friends if a man is able to get along with what comforts he has and is in no need of many superfluities:

But he who liked his meat not overdone

Nor underdone, nor medium, nor boiled

Too much; and liked no food enough to praise[*]

who will drink no wine if there is no snow with it,[*] nor eat bread purchased in the market, nor touch food served on cheap or earthenware dishes, nor sleep upon a bed that does not billow like the sea stirred to its depths; he who with rods and blows makes his servants at table hasten about running and crying out and sweating as though they were bringing poultices for boils,[*] such a man is enslaved to an impotent, querulous, and discontented mode of life. His many shocks of anger are like a chronic cough by which he reduces himself to a condition where anger becomes a running sore. We must, therefore, accustom the body to contentment by plain living and to self-sufficiency, for those who need but little are not disappointed of much.

FUNDANUS. And, to begin with our food, it is no great hardship if we partake in silence of whatever is set before us and do not, by being repeatedly choleric and peevish, thrust upon ourselves and our friends the worst sauce for meat, anger.

No more unpleasant supper could there be[*]

than that wherein servants are beaten and wife is reviled because something is burned or smoked or not salted enough, or because the bread is too cold.[*]

FUNDANUS. Arcesilaüs was once entertaining his friends and with them some foreign guests, and when dinner was served, there was no bread, since the slaves had neglected to buy any. In such a predicament which one of us would not have rent the walls asunder with outcries? But Arcesilaus merely smiled and said, How lucky it is that the wise man takes to the flowing bowl! [*]

FUNDANUS. Once when Socrates took Euthydemus home with him from the palaestra, Xanthippe came up to them in a rage and scolded them roundly, finally upsetting the table.[*] Euthydemus, deeply offended, got up and was about to leave when Socrates said, At your house the other day did not a hen fly in and do precisely this same thing, yet we were not put out about it?

FUNDANUS. For we should receive our friends affably and with laughter and cheerful friendliness, not with frowning brows, or striking fear and trembling into our servants. We must, further, accustom ourselves to make cheerful use of any kind of table utensils and not to prefer this service to that, as some men do who select one goblet or horn out of the many they have, and will drink from no other, as they relate of Marius. Some have this same feeling about oil-flasks and strigils, of which they have a liking for but one out of many; and so when one of these preferred objects is broken or lost, they take it hard and punish severely. Therefore anyone who is prone to anger should abstain from rare and curiously wrought things, like drinking-cups and seal-rings and precious stones; for their loss drives their owner out of his senses more than do objects which are easily procured and may be seen everywhere. This is the reason why, when Nero had had an octagonal tent built, a huge structure which was a sight to be seen because of its beauty and costliness, Seneca remarked, You have proved yourself a poor man, for if you ever lose this you will not have the means to procure another like it, And indeed it did so happen that the ship which conveyed it was sunk and the tent lost. But Nero remembered Seneca’s saying and bore his loss with greater moderation.

FUNDANUS. A cheerful behaviour toward the affairs of life makes a master cheerful and gentle toward his slaves also; and if to slaves, he will evidently be so to his friends as well as to those who are subject to his rule. And in fact we observe that ne wly purchased slaves inquire about their new master, not whether he is superstititious or envious, but whether he is ill-tempered[*]; and, speaking generally, we see that if anger is present in a home, husbands cannot endure even their wives’ chastity, nor wives even their husbands’ love, nor friends even familiar intercourse with one another. Thus neither marriage nor friendship is tolerable if anger is there, but without anger even drunkenness is easily borne. For the wand of Dionysus suffices to punish the drunkard, unless hot temper is added and makes the undiluted drink[*] cause of savagery and madness instead of a dispeller of care and an inspirer of the dance. Madness pure and simple can indeed be cured by Anticyra[*]; but if madness is mingled with anger, it produces tragedies and tales of horror.

FUNDANUS. Surely we should allow no place to anger even in jest, for that brings enmity in where friendliness was; nor in learned discussions, for that turns love of learning into strife; nor when rendering judgement, for that adds insolence to authority; nor in teaching, for that engenders discouragement and hatred of learning; nor in prosperity, for that increases envy; nor in adversity, for that drives away compassion when men become irritable and quarrel with those who sympathize with them, as Priam[*] did:

Be gone, you wretched, shameful men! Have you

No cause for grief at home that you have come

To trouble me?

But a cheerful disposition in some circumstances is helpful, others it adorns, and still others it helps to sweeten; by its gentleness it overcomes both anger and all moroseness. Thus Eucleides,[*] when his brother said to him after a quarrel, Damned if I don’t get even with you! answered, But as for me, may I be damned if I don’t convince you! and so at once turned him from his purpose and won him over. And Polemon, when a man who was fond of precious stones and quite mad about expensive seal-rings reviled him, made no answer, but fixed his gaze on one of the seal-rings and eyed it closely. The man, accordingly, was pleased and said to him, Do not look at it in this light, Polemon, but under the sun’s rays, and it will appear to you far more beautiful. Aristippus, again, when anger had arisen between him and Aeschines and someone said, Where now, Aristippus, is the friendship of you two? replied, It is asleep, but I shall awaken it; and, going to Aeschines, he said, Do I appear to you so utterly unfortunate and incurable as not to receive correction from you? And Aeschines replied, No wonder if you, who are naturally superior to me in all things, should in this matter also have discerned before I did the right thing to do.

For not a woman only, even a child,

Tickling the bristly boar with tender hand,

May throw him easier than a wrestler might.[*]

But we who tame wild beasts and make them gentle and carry about in our arms young wolves and lions’ cubs,[*] then under the impulse of rage cast off children, friends, and companions and let loose our wrath, like some wild beast, on servants and fellow-citizens - we, I say, do not well to use a cozening word for our anger by calling it righteous indignation, [*] but it is with anger, I believe, as with the other passions and diseases of the soul: we can rid ourselves of none of them by calling one foresight, another liberality, another piety.