The apophthegms or remarkable sayings of kings and great commanders. (91-92)

C. CAESAR. Caius Caesar, when he was a young man, fled from Sylla, and fell into the hands of pirates, who first demanded of him a sum of money; and he laughed at the rogues for not understanding his quality, and promised them twice as much as they asked him. Afterwards, when he was put into custody until he raised the money, he commanded them to be quiet and silent while he slept. While he was in prison, he made speeches and verses which he read to them, and when they commended them but coldly, he called them barbarians and blockheads, and threatened them in jest that he would hang them. But after a while he was as good as his word; for when the money for his ransom was brought and he discharged, he gathered men and ships out of Asia, seized the pirates and crucified them. At Rome he stood to be chief priest against Catulus, a man of great interest among the Romans. To his mother, who brought him to the gate, he said, To-day, mother, you will have your son high priest or banished. He divorced his wife Pompeia, because she was reported to be over

familiar with Clodius; yet when Clodius was brought to trial upon that account, and he was cited as a witness, he spake no evil against his wife; and when the accuser asked him, Why then did you divorce her?—Because, said he, Caesar’s wife ought to be free even from suspicion. As he was reading the exploits of Alexander, he wept and told his friends, He was of my age when he conquered Darius, and I hitherto have done nothing. He passed by a little inconsiderable town in the Alps, and his friends said, they wondered whether there were any contentions and tumults for offices in that place. He stood, and after a little pause answered, I had rather be the first in this town than second in Rome. He said, great and surprising enterprises were not to be consulted upon, but done. And coming against Pompey out of his province of Gaul, he passed the river Rubicon, saying, Let every die be thrown. After Pompey fled to sea from Rome, he went to take money out of the treasury: when Metellus, who had the charge of it, forbade him and shut it against him, he threatened to kill him; whereupon Metellus being astonished, he said to him, This, young man, is harder for me to say than to do. When his soldiers were having a tedious passage from Brundisium to Dyrrachium, unknown to all he went aboard a small vessel, and attempted to pass the sea; and when the vessel was in danger of being overset, he discovers himself to the pilot, crying out, Trust Fortune, and know that you carry Caesar. But the tempest being vehement, his soldiers coming about him and expostulating passionately with him, asking whether he distrusted them and was looking for another army, would not suffer him to pass at that time. They fought, and Pompey had the better of it; but instead of following his blow he retreated to his camp. To-day, said Caesar, the enemy had the victory, but none of them know how to conquer. Pompey commanded his army to stand in array at Pharsalia in their place, and to receive the charge from the enemy. In this Caesar said he was out, thereby suffering the eagerness of his soldiers’ spirits, when they were up and inspired with rage and success, in the midst of their career to languish and expire. After he routed Pharnaces Ponticus at the first assault, he wrote thus to his friends, I came, I saw, I conquered.[*] After Scipio was worsted in Africa and fled, and Cato had killed himself, he said: I envy thee thy death, O Cato! since thou didst envy me the honor of saving thee. Antonius and Dolabella were suspected by his friends, who advised him to secure them; he answered, I fear none of those fat and lazy fellows, but those pale and lean ones,— meaning Brutus and Cassius. As he was at supper, the discourse was of death, which sort was the best. That, said he, which is unexpected.

CAESAR AUGUSTUS. Caesar, who was the first surnamed Augustus, being yet young, demanded of Antony the twenty-five millions of money[*] which he had taken out of the house of Julius Caesar when he was slain, that he might pay the Romans the legacies he had left them, every man seventy-five drachms. But when Antony detained the money, and bade him, if he were wise, let fall his demand, he sent the crier to offer his own paternal estate for sale, and therewith discharged the legacies; by which means he procured a general respect to himself, and to Antony the hatred of the Romans. Rymetalces, king of Thrace, forsook Antony and went over to Caesar; but bragging immoderately in his drink, and nauseously reproaching his new confederates, Caesar drank to one of the other kings, and told him, I love treason but do not commend

traitors. The Alexandrians, when he had taken their city, expected great severity from him; but when he came upon the judgment-seat, he placed Arius the Alexandrian by him and told them: I spare this city, first because it is great and beautiful, secondly for the sake of its founder, Alexander, and thirdly for the sake of Arius my friend. When it was told him that Eros, his steward in Egypt, having bought a quail that beat all he came near and was never worsted by any, had roasted and eaten it, he sent for him; and when upon examination he confessed the fact, he ordered him to be nailed on the mast of the ship. He removed Theodorus, and in his stead made Arius his factor in Sicily, whereupon a petition was presented to him, in which was written, Theodorus of Tarsus is either a baldpate or a thief, what is your opinion? Caesar read it, and subscribed, I think so. Mecaenas, his intimate companion, presented him yearly on his birthday with a piece of plate. Athenodorus the philosopher, by reason of his old age, begged leave that he might retire from court, which Caesar granted; and as Athenodorus was taking his leave of him, Remember, said he, Caesar, whenever you are angry, to say or do nothing before you have repeated the four-and-twenty letters to yourself. Whereupon Caesar caught him by the hand and said, I have need of your presence still; and he kept him a year longer, saying, The reward of silence is a secure reward. He heard Alexander at the age of thirty-two years had subdued the greatest part of the world and was at a loss what he should do with the rest of his time. But he wondered Alexander should not think it a lesser labor to gain a great empire than to set in order what he had gotten. He made a law concerning adulterers, wherein was determined how the accused were to be tried and how the guilty were to be punished. Afterwards, meeting with a young man that was reported to have been familiar with his daughter Julia, being enraged he struck him with his hands; but when the young man cried out, O Caesar! you have made a law, he was so troubled at it that he refrained from supper that day. When he sent Caius his daughter’s son into Armenia, he begged of the Gods that the favor of Pompey, the valor of Alexander, and his own fortune might attend him. He told the Romans he would leave them one to succeed him in the government that never consulted twice in the same affair, meaning Tiberius. He endeavored to pacify some young men that were imperious in their offices; and when they gave little heed to him, but still kept a stir, Young men, said he, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young. Once, when the Athenians had offended him, he wrote to them from Aegina: I suppose you know I am angry with you, otherwise I had not wintered at Aegina. Besides this, he neither said nor did any thing to them. One of the accusers of Eurycles prated lavishly and unreasonably, proceeding so far as to say, If these crimes, O Caesar, do not seem great to you, command him to repeat to me the seventh book of Thucydides; wherefore Caesar being enraged commanded him to prison. But afterwards, when he heard he was descended from Brasidas, he sent for him again, and dismissed him with a moderate rebuke. When Piso built his house from top to bottom with great exactness, You cheer my heart, said he, who build as if Rome would be eternal.