The Dinner of the Seven Wise Men (5-9)

After the tables had been cleared away, and garlands distributed by Melissa, and we had poured libations, and the flute-girl, after playing a brief accompaniment for our libations, had withdrawn, then Ardalus, addressing Anacharsis, inquired if there were flute-girls among the Scythians.

He answered on the spur of the moment, No, nor grape-vines either,

When Ardalus again said,But the Scythians must have gods, he replied, Certainly, they have gods who understand the language of men; they are not like the Greeks, who, although they think they converse better than the Scythians, yet believe that the gods have more pleasure in listening to the sounds produced by bits of bone and wood.

Thereupon Aesop said, I would have you know,

my friend, that the modern flute-makers have given up the use of bones from fawns, and use bones from asses, asserting that the latter have a better sound. This fact underlies the riddle [*] which Cleobulina made in regard to the Phrygian flute: Full on my ear with a horn-bearing shin did a dead donkey smite me. So we may well be astonished that the ass, which otherwise is most gross and unmelodious, yet provides us with a bone which is most fine and melodious.

That, without question, said Neiloxenus, is the reason for the complaint which the people of Busiris make against us of Naucratis; for we are already using asses’ bones for our flutes. But for them even to hear a trumpet is a sin, because they think it sounds like the bray of an ass; and you know, of course, that an ass is treated with contumely by the Egyptians on account of Typhon. [*]

There was a pause in the conversation, and Periander, noticing that Neiloxenus wanted to begin his remarks, but was hesitating, said, I am inclined to commend both states and rulers that take up the business of strangers first and of their own citizens afterwards; and now it seems to me that we should for a few minutes put a check on our own words, which are, as it were, in their own land where they are well known, and grant audience, as in a legislative sitting, to the royal communication from Egypt, which our excellent friend Neiloxenus has

come to bring to Bias, and which Bias wishes to consider with all of us together.

Indeed, said Bias, in what place or company would a man more readily take the risk, if he must, of answering such questions, especially since the king has given instructions to begin with me, and after that the matter is to come round to all the rest of you?

As he said this Neiloxenus offered him the packet, but Bias bade him by all means to open it and read it aloud. The contents of the letter were to this effect:

Amasis, king of the Egyptians, to Bias, wisest of the Greeks.

The king of the Ethiopians is engaged in a contest in wisdom against me. Repeatedly vanquished in all else, he has crowned his efforts by framing an extraordinary and awful demand, bidding me to drink up the ocean. My reward, if I find a solution, is to have many villages and cities of his, and if I do not, I am to withdraw from the towns lying about Elephantine. I beg therefore that you will consider the question, and send back Neiloxenus without delay. And whatever is right for your friends or citizens to receive from us shall meet with no let or hindrance on my part.

After this had been read Bias did not wait long, but, after a few minutes of abstraction and a few words with Cleobulus, whose place was near his, he said, What is this, my friend from Naucratis? Do you mean to say that Amasis, who is king of so many people and possessed of such an excellent great country, will be willing, for the consideration of some insignificant and miserable villages, to drink up the ocean?

Neiloxenus answered with a laugh, Assume that he is willing, and consider what is possible for him to do.

Well, then, said Bias, let him tell the Ethiopian to stop the rivers which are now emptying into the ocean depths, while he himself is engaged in drinking up the ocean that now is; for this is the ocean with which the demand is concerned, and not the one which is to be.

As soon as Bias had said these words, Neiloxenus, for very joy, hastened to embrace and kiss him. The rest of the company also commended the answer, and expressed their satisfaction with it, and then Chilon said with a laugh, My friend, before the ocean disappears entirely in consequence of being drunk up, I beg that you sail back to your home in Naucratis and take word to Amasis not to be trying to find out how to make way with so much bitter brine, but rather how to render his government potable and sweet to his subjects; for in these matters Bias is most adept and a most competent instructor, and if Amasis will only learn them from him, he will have no further need of his golden foot-tub to impress the Egyptians,[*] but they will all show regard and affection for him if he is good, even though he be shown to be in his birth ten thousand times more lowly than at present.

Yes, indeed, said Periander, it surely is right and proper that we all contribute an offering of this sort to the king, each man in his turn, as Homer [*] has said. For to him these extra items would be more valuable than the burden of his mission, and as profitable for ourselves as anything could be.

Chilon thereupon said that it was only right that

Solon should take the lead in speaking on this subject, not merely because he was most advanced in years and was occupying the place of honour, but because he held the greatest and most perfect position as a ruler by getting the Athenians to accept his laws. Thereupon Neiloxenus quietly remarked to me, It is certain, Diocles, that a good many things come to be believed quite contrary to fact, and most people take delight in fabricating out of their own minds unwarranted tales about wise men, and in readily accepting such tales from others. Such, for instance, was the report, which was brought to us in Egypt, in regard to Chilon, to the effect that he had broken off his friendship and his hospitable relations with Solon because Solon asserted that laws are subject to revision. [*]

The story is ridiculous, said I; for in such case Chilon ought first to renounce Lycurgus and all his laws, for Lycurgus revised completely the Spartan constitution.

Solon then, after a moment’s delay, said, In my opinion either a king, or a despot, would best gain repute if out of a monarchy he should organize a democracy for his people.

Next Bias said, If he should be the very first to conform to his country’s laws.

Following him Thales said that he accounted it happiness for a ruler to reach old age and die a natural death.

Fourth, Anacharsis said, If only he have sound sense.

Fifth, Cleobulus, If he trust none of his associates.

Sixth, Pittacus, If the ruler should manage to make his subjects fear, not him, but for him. [*]

Chilon followed by saying that a ruler’s thoughts should never be the thoughts of a mortal, but of an immortal always.

When these sentiments had been expressed, we insisted that Periander himself should also say something. And he, not very cheerful, but with a hard set face, said, Well, I may add my view, that the opinions expressed, taken as a whole, practically divorce any man possessed of sense from being a ruler.

Whereupon Aesop, as though taking us to task, said, You ought, then, to have carried out this discussion by yourselves, and not, while professing to be counsellors and friends, to have made yourselves complainants against rulers.

Solon then, laying his hand on Aesop’s head and smiling the while, said, Don’t you think that anyone could make a ruler more moderate and a despot more reasonable if he could persuade them that it is better not to rule than to rule?

Who, he replied, would believe you in this matter in preference to the god who said, according to the oracle referring to you,

Blessed the city that hears the command of one herald only?

Yet it is a fact, said Solon, that even now the Athenians hearken to one herald and ruler only, and that one, the law, under their democratic constitution. You are clever in understanding ravens and jackdaws, but you have no true ear for the voice of equality, but think that, according to the god, the city which hearkens to one man fares the best, whereas in a social gathering you regard it as a virtue to have everybody talk and on every sort of subject.

Yes, said Aesop, that is because you have not yet written a law that slaves [*] shall not get drunk, which would be a similar law to fit this case, as at Athens you wrote a law that slaves shall not have any love-affair and shall not rub down like athletes. [*]

Solon laughed at this and Cleodorus the physician said, Nevertheless rubbing down dry is similar to talking when soaked with wine in that it is most agreeable.

And Chilon, interrupting, said, The more reason then for refraining from it.

I could swear, said Aesop, speaking again, that Thales appeared to bid a man to grow old as fast as possible. [*]

Periander at this burst out laughing, and said, We are fittingly punished, Aesop, for becoming involved in other subjects before introducing all of those from Amasis, to which we gave precedence. I beg, Neiloxenus, that you will look at the rest of

the letter and take advantage of the fact that the men are all here together.

Well, in truth, said Neiloxenus, the demand of the Ethiopian can hardly be called anything but a depressing cryptic dispatch, [*] to borrow a phrase from Archilochus, but your friend Amasis is more civilized and cultivated in proposing such questions; for he bade the king name the oldest thing, the most beautiful, the greatest, the wisest, the most common, and besides these, as I can attest, to name also the most helpful thing and the most harmful, and the strongest and the easiest.

Did the Ethiopian king give an answer and a solution for each of these questions?

Yes, in his way, said Neiloxenus, but you must judge for yourselves when you hear his answers. For my king holds it to be a very important matter not to be caught impugning the answers falsely; and likewise, if the respondent is making any slip in these, he would not have this pass unquestioned. I will read the answers of the Ethiopian as he gave them:

(a)What is the oldest thing? Time.

(b)What is the greatest? The universe.

(c)What is the wisest? Truth.

(d)What is the most beautiful? Light.

(e)What is most common? Death.

(f)What is most helpful? God.

(g)What is most harmful? An evil spirit.

(h) What is strongest? Fortune.

(i) What is easiest? Pleasure.

After this second reading, there was silence for a time, and then Thales asked Neiloxenus if Amasis had approved the answers. When Neiloxenus replied that Amasis had accepted some, but was much dissatisfied with others, Thales said, As a matter of fact there is not a thing in them that cannot be impugned, but they all contain gross errors and evidences of ignorance. For instance, in the very first one, how can time be the oldest thing if a part of it is past, a part present, and a part future? [*] For the time which is to come would clearly be younger than events and persons that now are. And to hold that truth is wisdom seems to me no different from declaring that light is the eye. If he thought the light beautiful, as it really is, how did he come to overlook the sun itself? Among the others the answer about gods and evil spirits evinces boldness and daring, but the one about Fortune contains much bad logic; for Fortune would not be so fickle about abiding with one if it were the mightiest and strongest thing in existence. Nor is death, in fact, the most common thing; for it does not affect the living.[*] But, to avoid giving the impression of merely passing judgement upon the statements of others, let us compare answers of our own with his. And I offer myself as the first, if Neiloxenus so desires, to be questioned on each topic; and taking the questions

in the order given,[*]a I will repeat them, together with my answers[*]:

(a)What is the oldest thing?God, said Thales,for God is something that has no beginning.

(b)What is greatest?Space; for while the universe contains within it all else, this contains the universe.

(c)What is most beautiful?The Universe; for everything that is ordered as it should be is a part of it.

(d)What is wisest?Time; for it has discovered some things already, and shall discover all the rest.

(e)What is most common?Hope; for those who have nothing else have that ever with them.

(f)What is most helpful?Virtue; for it makes everything else helpful by putting it to a good use.

(g)What is most harmful?Vice; for it harms the greatest number of things by its presence.

(h)What is strongest?Necessity; for that alone is insuperable.

(i)What is easiest?To follow Nature’s course; because people often weary of pleasures.