The Dinner of the Seven Wise Men (2-3)

Periander had arranged for the entertainment, not in the city but in the dining-hall in the vicinity of Lechaeum, close by the shrine of Aphrodite, in whose honour the sacrifice was offered that day. For Periander, ever since his mother’s love-affair which xv.2.p.351"/ had led to her self-destruction,[*] had offered no sacrifice to Aphrodite, but now, for the first time, owing to certain dreams of Melissa’s, he had set about honouring and conciliating the goddess.

For each of the invited guests a carriage and pair, fashionably caparisoned, was brought to the door; for it was summer-time, and the whole length of the street even to the water’s edge was one mass of dust and confusion by reason of the great crowd of vehicles and people. Thales, however, when he saw the equipage at the door, smiled and dismissed it. And so we set out on foot, leaving the road and going through the fields in a leisurely fashion, and with us two was Neiloxenus of Naucratis, an able man, who had been on terms of intimacy with Solon and Thales and their group in Egypt. He, as it happened, had been sent a second time on a mission to Bias, the reason for which he did not know, save only that he suspected that he was bringing for Bias a second problem sealed up in a packet. His instructions were, that if Bias should give up trying to solve it, he should show the packet to the wisest among the Greeks.

It is a piece of good fortune for me, said Neiloxenus, to have found you all together here, and, as you see, I am bringing the packet with me to the dinner; and at the same time he showed it to us.

Thales began to laugh, and said, If it is anything bad, go to Priene [*] again! For Bias will have a solution for this, just as he had his own solution of the first problem.

What, said I, was the first problem?

The king, said he, sent to Bias an animal for

sacrifice, with instructions to take out and send back to him the worst and best portion of the meat. And our friend’s neat and clever solution was, to take out the tongue and send it to him,[*] with the result that he is now manifestly in high repute and esteem.

Not for this alone, said Neiloxenus, but he does not try to avoid, as the rest of you do, being a friend of kings and being called such. In your case, for instance, the king finds much to admire in you, and in particular he was immensely pleased with your method of measuring the pyramid, because, without making any ado or asking for any instrument, you simply set your walking-stick upright at the edge of the shadow which the pyramid cast, and, two triangles being formed by the intercepting of the sun’s rays, you demonstrated that the height of the pyramid bore the same relation to the length of the stick as the one shadow to the other.[*] But, as I said, you have been unjustly accused of having an animosity against kings, and certain offensive pronouncements of yours regarding despots have been reported to him. For example, he was told that, when you were asked by Molpagoras the Ionian what was the most paradoxical thing you had ever seen, you replied, A despot that lived to be old.[*] And again he was told that on a certain convivial occasion there was a discussion about animals, and you maintained that of the wild animals the worst was the despot, and of the tame the flatterer.[*] Now kings, although they would make out that they are altogether different from despots, do not take kindly to such remarks.

But the fact is, said Thales, that Pittacus is responsible for that statement, which was once made in jest with reference to Myrsilus. But, as for myself,

I should be amazed to see, he continued, not a despot but a pilot that lived to be old. However, so far as concerns transferring this from the one to the other, my feeling is exactly that of the young man who threw a stone at his dog, but hit his stepmother, whereupon he exclaimed, Not so bad after all! [*] This is the reason why I regarded Solon as very wise in refusing to accept the position of despot.[*] And as for your friend Pittacus, if he had never addressed himself to the task of ruling single-handed, he would not have said that it is hard to be good. [*] But Periander, apparently, in spite of his being afflicted with despotism as with an inherited disease, is making fair progress towards recovery [*] by keeping wholesome company—at least up to the present time—and by bringing about conferences with men of sense, and by refusing to entertain the suggestions offered by my fellow-citizen Thrasybulus about lopping off the topmost.[*] Indeed, a despot who desires to rule slaves rather than men is not unlike a farmer who is willing to gather in a harvest of darnel and rest-harrow rather than of wheat and barley. For the exercise of dominion possesses one advantage to set against its many disadvantages, and this is the honour and glory of it, if rulers rule over good men by being better than they, and are thought to surpass their subjects in greatness. But rulers that are content with safety without honour ought to rule over a lot of sheep, horses, and cattle, and not over men. But enough of this, he continued, for our visitor here has precipitated us into a conversation that is quite inappropriate, since he has not been careful to bring up topics and questions suitable for persons on their way to dinner. Do you not honestly believe that, as some preparation is necessary on the part of the man who is to be host, there should also be some preparation on the part of him who is to be a guest at dinner? People in Sybaris, as it appears, have their invitations to women presented a year in advance so as to afford them plenty of time to provide themselves with clothes and jewellery to wear when they come to dinner [*]; but I am of the opinion that the genuine preparation on the part of the man who is to be the right kind of guest at dinner requires even a longer time, inasmuch as it is more difficult to discover the fitting adornment for character than the superfluous and useless adornment for the body. In fact, the man of sense who comes to dinner does not betake himself there just to fill himself up as though he were a sort of pot, but to take some part, be it serious or humorous, and to listen and to talk regarding this or that topic as the occasion suggests it to the company, if their association together is to be pleasant. [*] Now an unsavoury dish can be declined, and, if the wine be poor, one may find refuge with the water-sprites; but a guest at dinner who gives the others a headache, and is churlish and uncivil, ruins and spoils the enjoyment of any wines and viands or of any girl’s music; nor is there any ready means by which one can spew out this sort of unsavouriness, but with some persons their mutual dislike lasts for their entire lifetime—stale dregs, as it were, of some insult or fit of temper which was called into being over wine. Wherefore Chilon showed most excellent judgement when he received his invitation yesterday, in not agreeing to come until he had learned the name of every person invited. For he said that men must put up with an inconsiderate companion on shipboard or under the same tent, if necessity compels them to travel or to serve in the army, but that to trust to luck regarding the people one is to be associated with at table is not the mark of a man of sense.[*] Now the skeleton which in Egypt they are wont, with fair reason, to bring in and expose at their parties, urging the guests to remember that what it is now, they soon shall be, although it is an ungracious and unseasonable companion to be introduced at a merry-making, yet has a certain timeliness, even if it does not incline the guests to drinking and enjoyment, but rather to a mutual friendliness and affection, and if it urges upon them that life, which is short in point of time, should not be made long by evil conduct.

Engaging in such discourse as this along the way, we arrived at the house. Thales did not care to bathe, for we had already had a rub-down. So he visited and inspected the race-tracks, the trainingquarters of the athletes, and the beautifully kept park along the shore; not that he was ever greatly impressed by anything of the sort, but so that he should not seem to show disdain or contempt for Periander’s ambitious designs. As for the other guests, each one, after enjoying a rub-down or a bath, was conducted by the servants to the diningroom through the open colonnade.

Anacharsis was seated in the colonnade, and in front of him stood a girl who was parting his hair with her hands. This girl ran to Thales in a most open-hearted way, whereupon he kissed her

and said laughingly, Go on and make our visitor beautiful, so that we may not find him terrifying and savage in his looks, when he is, in reality, most civilized.

When I inquired about the girl and asked who she was, he replied, Have you not heard of the wise and far-famed Eumetis? Really, though, that is only her father’s name for her, and most people call her Cleobulina after her father.

I am sure, said Neiloxenus, that when you speak so highly of the maiden you must have reference to the cleverness and skill that she shows in her riddles; for it is a fact that some of her conundrums have even found their way to Egypt.

No indeed, said Thales, for these she uses like dice as a means of occasional amusement, and risks an encounter with all comers. But she is also possessed of wonderful sense, a statesman’s mind, and an amiable character, and she has influence with her father so that his government of the citizens has become milder and more popular.

Yes, said Neiloxenus, that must be apparent to anybody who observes her simplicity and lack of affectation. But what is the reason for her loving attentions to Anacharsis?

Because, replied Thales, he is a man of sound sense and great learning, and he has generously and readily imparted to her the system of diet and purging which the Scythians employ in treating their sick. And I venture to think that at this very moment, while she is bestowing this affectionate attention on the man, she is gaining some knowledge through further conversation with him.

We were already near the dining-room when

Alexidemus of Miletus met us. He was a son of the despot Thrasybulus, but born out of wedlock. He was coming out in a state of great agitation, angrily talking to himself, but saying nothing that was intelligible to us. When he saw Thales he recovered himself a little, stopped, and exclaimed, What an insult! To think that Periander should behave so toward us! Why, he simply would not hear of my going away when I was bent on going, but begged me to stay over for the dinner; and then when I came he assigned to me an ignominious place, setting Aeolians, and men from the islands, and what not, above Thrasybulus. For it is plain that in my person he wishes to offer insult to Thrasybulus, who delegated me to come, and to put him low down to show that he purposely ignores him.

So then, said Thales, as the Egyptians say of the stars, when they gain or lose altitude in their courses, that they are growing better or worse than they were before, do you fear that the obscuration and degradation affecting you because of your place at table will be brought about in a similar way? And you will be contemptible when compared with the Spartan [*] who in a chorus was put by the director in the very last place, whereupon he exclaimed, Good! You have found out how this may be made a place of honour. When we have taken our places, continued Thales, we ought not to try to discover who has been placed above us, but rather how we may be thoroughly agreeable to those placed with us, by trying at once to discover in them something that may serve to initiate and keep up friendship, and, better yet, by harbouring no discontent but an open satisfaction in being placed next to such persons as

these. For, in every case, a man that objects to his place at table is objecting to his neighbour rather than to his host, and he makes himself hateful to both.

All this, said Alexidemus, is merely talk that means nothing. As a matter of fact, I observe that all you wise men too make it your aim in life to have honour shown you; and with that he passed by us and departed.

Thales, in answer to our look of astonishment at the man’s extraordinary conduct, said, A crazy fellow, and uncouth by nature; as an instance, when he was still a boy, some especially fine perfume was brought to Thrasybulus, and this the youngster emptied into a big wine-cooler, and on top of it poured strong wine, and drank it off, thus creating enmity instead of friendship for Thrasybulus.

Just then a servant made his way to us and said, Periander bids you, and Thales too, to take your friend here with you and inspect something which has just now been brought to him, to determine whether its birth is of no import whatever, or whether it is a sign and portent; at any rate, he himself seemed to be greatly agitated, feeling that it was a pollution and blot upon his solemn festival. With these words he conducted us to one of the rooms off the garden. Here a youth, a herdsman apparently, beardless as yet, and not bad-looking withal, unfolded a piece of leather, and showed us a newly-born creature which he asserted was the offspring of a mare. Its upper parts as far as the neck and arms were of human form, and the sound of its crying was just like that of newly-born infants, but the rest of its body was that of a horse. Neiloxenus merely exclaimed, God save us, and turned his face away;

but Thales fixed his gaze upon the youth for a long time, and then, with a smile (for he was in the habit of joking with me about my profession), said, No doubt, Diocles, you are minded to set in operation your ritual of atonement, and to trouble the gods who deliver us from evil, since you must feel that something terrible and momentous has befallen?

Why not? said I, since this thing is a sign of strife and discord, Thales, and I fear that it may go so far as to affect even marriage and offspring, because, even before we have made full atonement for the first fault that moved the goddess to wrath, she plainly shows us, as you see, that there is a second.

To this Thales made no answer, but withdrew, laughing all the while. Periander met us at the door, and inquired about what we had seen; whereupon Thales left me and took his hand, saying, Whatever Diocles bids you do you will carry out at your own convenience, but my recommendation to you is that you should not employ such young men as keepers of horses, or else that you should provide wives for them. [*]

It seemed to me that Periander, on hearing his words, was mightily pleased, for he burst out laughing and embraced Thales most affectionately. I think, Diocles, said Thales, that the sign has already had its fulfilment, for you see what a bad thing has happened to us in that Alexidemus would not dine with us!