Advice About Keeping Well (20)

ZEUXIPPUS. The Lydians, they say, [*] in a time of famine, alternately spent one day in regaling themselves with food, and the next in jollity and games of chance. But in the case of a scholarly and cultivated man, on an occasion which requires a later dinner than usual, a mathematical problem on hand, or some pamphlet or musical instrument, will not permit him to be harried by his belly; on the contrary, he will steadily turn away and transfer his thoughts from the table to these other things, and scare away his appetites, like Harpies, by means of the Muses. Does not the Scythian,[*] while he is drinking, ofttimes put his hand to his bow, and twang the string, thus summoning back his senses which are being unstrung by the liquor; and shall a Greek man be afraid of those who deride him when by letters and books he endeavours quietly to ease and relax an unfeeling and inexorable desire? When the young men described by Menander [*] were, as they were drinking, insidiously beset by the pimp, who introduced some handsome and high-priced concubines, each one of them (as he says),

Bent down his head and munched his own dessert,

being on his guard and afraid to look at them. But scholars have many fair and pleasant outlooks and diversions, if so be they can in no other way keep under control the canine and bestial element in their appetites when at table. The utterances of athletic trainers and the talk of teachers of gymnastics, who assert on every occasion that scholarly conversation at dinner spoils the food and makes the head heavy, are to be feared only when we propose to solve the Indian problem or to discuss determinants [*] during dinner. The leaf-bud at the top of the date-palm is sweet, but they say that it brings on a violent headache [*]; and an exercise in logic is by no means a sweet morsel [*] to top off a dinner, but, on the contrary, it is quite likely to bring on a headache, and is extremely fatiguing as well. But if they will not allow us to start any other inquiry or scholarly discussion,[*] or to read while at dinner any of those things which, besides being beautiful and useful, contain also the element of pleasurable allurement and sweetness, we shall bid them not to bother us, but to take themselves off, and in the training grounds and buildings to engage in such talk with the athletes, whom they have torn from their books, and by accustoming them to spend the whole day in jesting and scurrility, have, as the clever Ariston said, made them as glossy and blockish as the pillars in a gymnasium. But as for ourselves, we shall follow the advice of the physicians who recommend always to let some time intervene between dinner and sleep, and not, after jumbling our victuals into our body and oppressing our spirit, to hinder our digestion at once with the food that is still unassimilated and fermenting, but rather to provide for it some respite and relaxation; just as those who think it is the right thing to keep their bodies moving after dinner do not do this by means of foot-races and strenuous boxing and wrestling, but by gentle walking and decorous dancing, so we shall hold that we ought not to distract our minds after dinner either with business or cares or pseudo-learned disputations, which have as their goal an ostentatious or stirring rivalry. But many of the problems of natural science are light and enticing, and there are many stories which contain ethical considerations and the soul’s satisfaction, as Homer has phrased this, and nothing repellent. The spending of time over questions of history and poetry some persons, not unpleasingly, have called a second repast [*] for men of scholarship and culture. There are also inoffensive stories and fables, and it is less onerous to exchange opinions about a flute and a lyre than to listen to the sound of the lyre and the flute itself. The length of time for this is such as the digestion needs to assert itself and gain the upper hand over the food as it is gradually absorbed and begins to agree with us.