A Letter of Condolence to Apollonius (23-25)

But I dare say that, in answer to this, some may assert their belief that there need not be mourning for every death, but only for untimely deaths, because of the failure of the dead to gain what are commonly held to be the advantages of life, such as marriage, education, manhood, citizenship, or public office (for these are the considerations, they say, which most cause grief to those who suffer misfortune through untimely deaths, since they are robbed of their hope out of due time); but they do not realize that the untimely death shows no disparity if it be considered with reference to the [*]

It is evident, therefore, that even the death which we call untimely readily admits of consolation, both for these reasons and for those previously given. For in fact Troïlus shed fewer tears than did Priam; [*]

Come then within the walled city, my son, so to save from destruction All of the men and the women of Troy, nor afford a great triumph Unto the offspring of Peleus, and forfeit the years of your lifetime. Also for me have compassion, ill-starred, while yet I have feeling; Hapless I am; on the threshold of eld will the Father, descended from Cronus, Make me to perish in pitiful doom, after visions of evils, Sons being slain and our daughters as well being dragged to be captives, Chambers of treasure all wantonly plundered and poor little children Dashed to the earth in the terrible strife by the merciless foeman, Wives of my sons being dragged by the ravishing hands of Achaeans. Me, last of all, at the very front doors shall the dogs tear to pieces, Ravening, eager for blood, when a foeman wielding his weapon, Keen-edged of bronze, by a stroke or a throw, takes the life from my body. Yet when the dogs bring defilement on hair and on beard that is hoary, And on the body as well of an old man slain by the foeman, This is the saddest of sights ever seen by us unhappy mortals. Thus did the old man speak, and his hoary locks plucked by the handful, Tearing his hair from his head, but he moved not the spirit of Hector.

Crantor [*] says that not being to blame for one’s unhappy state is no small alleviation for misfortunes; but I should say that it surpasses all others as a remedy for the cure of grief. But affection and love for the departed does not consist in distressing ourselves, but in benefiting the beloved one; and a benefit for those who have been taken away is the honour paid to them through keeping their memory green. For no good man, after he is dead, is deserving of lamentations, but of hymns and songs of joy; not of mourning, but of an honourable memory; not of sorrowing tears, but of offerings of sacrifice,—if the departed one is now a partaker in some life more divine, relieved of servitude to the body, and of these everlasting cares and misfortunes which those who have received a mortal life as their portion are constrained to undergo until such time as they shall complete their allotted earthly existence, which Nature has not given to us for eternity; but she has distributed to us severally the apportioned amount in accordance with the laws of fate.