<TEI xmlns="http://www.tei-c.org/ns/1.0" xmlns:py="http://codespeak.net/lxml/objectify/pytype" py:pytype="TREE"><text xml:lang="eng"><body><div xml:lang="eng" type="translation" n="urn:cts:latinLit:phi1348.abo020.perseus-eng2"><div type="textpart" n="21" subtype="chapter"><p>His method of life was commonly this. After he became emperor, he used to rise
					very early, often before day-break. Having read over his letters, and the briefs
					of all the departments of the government offices, he admitted his friends; and
					while they were paying him their compliments, he would put on his own shoes, and
					dress himself with his own hands. Then, after the dispatch of such business as
					was brought before him, he rode out, and afterwards retired to repose, lying on
					his couch with one of his mistresses, of whom he kept several after the death of
						Caenis.<note anchored="true">See c. iii and note.</note> Coming out of his
					private apartments, he passed to the Bath," 'and then entered the supper-room.
					They say that he was never more good-humoured and indulgent than at that time:
					and therefore his attendants always seized that opportunity, when they had any
					favour to ask.</p></div><div type="textpart" n="22" subtype="chapter"><p>At supper, and, indeed, at other times, he was extremely free and jocose. For he
					had humour, but of a low kind, and he would sometimes use indecent language,
					such as is addressed to ygung girls about to be married. Yet there are some
					things related of him not void of ingenious pleasantry; amongst which are the
					following. Being once reminded by Mestrius Florus, that plaustra was a more
					proper expression than plostra, he the next day saluted him by the name of
						Flaurus.<note anchored="true">Probably the emperor had not entirely worn
						off, or might even affect the rustic dialect of his Sabine countrymen: for
						among the peasantry the au was still pronounced o, as in plostrum for
						plaustrum, a waggon; and in orum for aurum, gold, c. The emperor's retort
						was very happy, Flaurus being derived from a Greek word, which signifies
						worthless, while the consular critic's proper name, Florus, was connected
						with much more agreeable associations. </note> A certain lady pretending to
					be desperately enamoured of him, he was prevailed upon to admit her to his bed:
					and after he had gratified her desires, he gave her<note anchored="true">Some of
						the German critics think that the passage bears the sense of the gratuity
						having been given by the lady, and that so parsimonious a prince as
						Vespasian was not likely to have paid such a sum as is here stated for a
						lady's proffered favours. </note> four hundred thousand sesterces. When his
					steward desired to know how he would have the sum entered in his accounts, he
					replied, "For Vespasian's being seduced."</p></div><div type="textpart" n="23" subtype="chapter"><p>He used Greek verses very wittily; speaking of a tall man: <quote xml:lang="grc"><l>μακρὰ ζίζασ κραδάων δολλιχώσκιον ἔγχοσ</l></quote>
					And of Cerylus, a freedman, who being very rich had begun to pass himself off as
					free-born, to elude the exchequer at 'his decease, and assumed the name of
					Laches, he said: <quote xml:lang="grc"><l>ὦ Λάχης, Λάχησ</l><l>ἔπαν ἀποθάνης, αὐθίσ ἐξ ἀρχῆσ ἔση Κήρυλοσ</l></quote>
					<quote xml:lang="eng"><l>Ah, Laches, Laches ! when thou art no more,</l><l>Thou'lt Cerylus be called, just as before.</l></quote> He chiefly
					affected wit upon his own shameful means of raising money, in order to wipe off
					the odium by some joke, and turn it into ridicule. One of his ministers, who was
					much in his favour, requesting of him a stewardship for some person, under
					pretence of his being his brother, he deferred granting him his petition, and in
					the meantime sent for the candidate, and having squeezed out of him as much
					money as he had agreed to give to his friend at court, he appointed him
					immediately to the office. The minister soon after renewing his application,
					"You must," said he, "find another brother; for the one you adopted is in truth
					mine."</p><p>Suspecting once, during a journey, that his mule-driver had alighted to shoe his
					mules, only in order to have an opportunity for allowing a person they met, who
					was engaged in a law-suit, to speak to him, he asked him, " how much he got for
					shoeing his mules?" and insisted on having a share of the profit. When his son
					Titus blamed him for even laying a tax upon urine, he applied to his nose a
					piece of the money he received in the first instalment, and asked him, " if it
					stunk?" And he replying no, "And yet," said he, it is derived from urine." Some
					deputies having come to acquaint him that a large statue, which would cost a
					vast sum, was ordered to be erected for him at the public expense, he told them
					to pay it down immediately, holding out the hollow of his hand, and saying, "
					there was a base ready for the statue." Not even when he was under the immediate
					apprehension and peril of death, could he forbear jesting. For when, among other
					prodigies, the mausoleum of the Caesars suddenly flew open, and a blazing star
					appeared in the heavens; one of the prodigies, he said, concerned Julia Calvina,
					who was of the family of Augustus,<note anchored="true">The Flavian Family had
						their own tomb. See DOMITIAN, c. v. The prodigy, therefore, did not concern
						Vespasian. As to the tomb of the Julian family, see AUGUSTUS, c. ci. </note>
					and the other, the king of the Parthians, who wore his hair long. And when his
					distemper first seized him, "I suppose." he said, "I shall soon be a god." <note anchored="true">Alluding to the apotheosis of the emperors. </note></p></div><div type="textpart" n="24" subtype="chapter"><p>In his ninth consulship, being seized, while in Campania, with a slight
					indisposition, and immediately returning to the city, he soon afterwards went
					thence to Cutiliae,<note anchored="true">Cutiliae was a small lake, about
						three-quarters of a mile from Reate, now called Lago di Configliano. It was
						very deep, and being fed from springs in the neighbouring hills, the water
						was exceedingly clear and cold, so that it was frequented by invalids, who
						required invigorating. Vespasian's paternal estates lay in the neighbourhood
						of Reate. See chap. i. </note> and his estates in the country about Reate,
					where he used constantly to spend the summer. Here, though his disorder much
					increased, and he injured his bowels by too free use of the cold waters, he
					nevertheless attended to the dispatch of business, and even gave audience to
					ambassadors in bed. At last, being taken ill of a diarrhoea, to such a degree
					that he was ready to faint, he cried out, "An emperor ought to die standing
					upright." In endeavouring to rise, he died in the hands of those who were
					helping him up, upon the eighth of the calends of July<note anchored="true">A.U.C. 832</note> [24th June], being sixty-nine years, one month, and seven
					days old.</p></div><div type="textpart" n="25" subtype="chapter"><p>All are agreed that he had such confidence in the calculations of his own
					nativity and that of his sons, that, after several conspiracies against him, he
					told the senate, that either his sons would succeed him, or nobody. It is said
					likewise, that he once saw in a dream a balance in the middle of the porch of
					the Palatine house exactly poised; in one scale of which stood Claudius and
					Nero, and in the other, himself and his sons. The event corresponded to the
					symbol; for the reigns of the two parties were precisely of the same
						duration.<note anchored="true">Each dynasty lasted twenty-eight years;
						Claudius and Nero both reigning fourteen; and, of the Flavius family,
						Vespasian reigned ten, Titus three, and Domitian fifteen.</note></p></div></div></body></text></TEI>