Returning to the island, he so far abandoned all care of the government, that he
					never filled up the decuriae of the knights, never changed any military tribunes
					or prefects, or governors of provinces, and kept Spain and Syria for
					several years without any consular lieutenants. He likewise suffered Armenia to be seized by the Parthians, Mcesia
					by the Dacians and Sarmatians, and Gaul 
					to be ravaged by the Germans: to the great disgrace, and no less danger, of the
					empire. But, having now the advantage of privacy, and being remote from the observation
					of the people of Rome , he abandoned
					himself to all the vicious propensities which he had long but imperfectly
					concealed, and of which I shall here give a particular account from the
					beginning. While a young soldier in the camp, he was so remarkable for his
					excessive inclination to wine, that, for Tiberius, they called him Biberius; for
					Claudius, Cal-, dius; and for Nero, Mero . And after he succeeded to the empire, and was invested
					with the office of reforming the morality of the people, he spent a whole night
					and two days together in feasting and drinking with Pomponius Flaccus and Lucius
					Piso; to one of whom he immediately gave the province of Syria , and to the other the prefecture of the
					city; declaring them, in his letterspatent, to be ' very pleasant companions,
					and friends fit for all occasions." He made an appointment to sup with Sestius
					Gallus, a lewd and prodigal old fellow, who had been disgraced by Augustus, and
					reprimanded by himself but a few days before in the senate-house; upon condition
					that he should not recede in the least from his usual method of entertainment,
					and that they should be attended at table by naked girls. He preferred a very
					obscure candidate for the quaestorship, before the most noble competitors, only
					for taking off, in pledging him at table, an amphora of wine at a draught. That any man could drink an amphora of wine at a draught, is
						beyond all credibility; for the amphora was nearly equal to nine gallons,
						English measure. The probability is, that the man had emptied a large
						vessel, which was shaped like an amphora. He presented Asellius
					Sabinus with two hundred thousand sesterces, for writing a dialogue, in the way
					of dispute, betwixt the truffle and the fig-pecker, the oyster and the thrush.
					He likewise instituted a new office to administer to his voluptuousness, to
					which he appointed Titus Caesonius Priscus, a Roman knight. In his retreat at Capri , Capri , the
						luxurious retreat and scene of the debaucheries of the Roman emperors, is an
						island off the southern point of the bay of Naples , about twelve miles in circumference. he
					also contrived an apartment containing couches, and adapted to the secret
					practice of lewdness, where he entertained companies of disreputable girls.
						 * * * Thomson omits material here * *
						* He had several chambers set round with pictures and statues in the
					most suggestive attitudes, and furnished with the books of Elephantis, that none
					might want a pattern for the execution of any project that was prescribed him.
					He likewise contrived recesses in woods and groves for the gratification of
					young persons of both sexes, in caves and hollow rocks. So that he was publicly
					and commonly called, by an abuse of the name of the island, Caprineus. The name of the island having a double meaning, and
						signifying also a goat. But he was still more infamous, if possible, for an abomination not fit to be
					mentioned or heard, much less credited. "Quasi pueros prima teneritudinis, quos 'pisciculos'
							vocabat, institueret, ut natanti sibi inter femina versarentur, ac
							luderent: lingui morsuque sensim appetentes; atque etiam quasi infantes
							firmiorcs, necdum tamen lacte depulsos, inguini ceu papillae admoveret:
							pronior sane ad id genus libidinis, et nature et aetate." 
					 * * * Thomson omits material here * *
						* When a picture, painted by Parrhasius, in which the artist had
					represented Atalanta in the act of submitting to Meleager's lust in the most
					unnatural way, was bequeathed to him, with this proviso, that if the subject was
					offensive to him, he might receive in lieu of it a million sesterces, he not
					only chose the picture, but hung it up in his bed-chamber. * * * Thomson omits material here * * * How much he was guilty of a most foul intercourse with women even of the first
						quality, "Feminarum capitibus
							solitus illudere." appeared very plainly by the death of
					one Mallonia, who, being brought to his bed, but resolutely refusing to comply
					with his lust, he gave her up to the common informers. Even when she was upon
					her trial, he frequently called out to her, and asked her, "Do you repent?"
					until she, quitting the court, went home, and stabbed herself; openly upbraiding
					the vile old lecher for his gross obscenity; "Obscenitate oris hirsuto atque olido." 
					hence there was an allusion to him in a farce, which was acted at the next
					public sports, and was received with great applause, and became a common topic
					of ridicule: "Hircum vetulum capreis
							naturam ligurire." that the old goat * * * Thomson omits material here * *
						*