Upon the whole, The second part of the satire begins here. The Stoics called all vicious people fools,
 stultos . Quatenus is frequently
 used by our poet for quoniam , since that. forasmuch as the vice anger, as well as others inherent in foolish [mortals], can not
 be totally eradicated, why does not human reason make use of its own weights and measures; and
 so punish faults, as the nature of the thing demands? If any man should punish with the cross
 a slave, who being ordered to take away the dish should gorge the half-eaten fish and warm
 sauce; Tepidumque ligurrierit ius . Horace , to excuse the slave, says, that the
 sauce was yet warm, tepidum, and therefore more tempting. For the same reason, he says, the
 fish was half eaten. he would, among people in their senses, be called a madder man than Labeo. Labeone insanior . The Scholiasts, commentators, and interpreters tell us, that Horace means Marcus Antistius Labeo, who, in the spirit of
 liberty, frequently opposed Augustus in the senate, when he attempted any alterations in the
 state. Agitabat eum libertas nimia et vecors , says Seneca ; which might justly render him odious to Augustus. But
 whatever respect our poet had for his emperor, yet we never find that he treats the patrons
 of liberty with outrage. Nor can we well imagine that he dare thus cruelly brand a man of
 Labeo's abilities, riches, power, and employments in the state; to whom Augustus himself
 offered the consulship. Probably the person here intended was publicly known to have been
 guilty of some folly not unlike what our poet mentions. Dr. Bentley hath found a Labienus in
 the time of Augustus, whose character fits this passage extremely well; and whom he
 therefore recommends to a place in the text. How much more irrational and heinous a crime is this! Your friend has been guilty of a
 small error (which, unless you forgive, you ought to be reckoned a sour, ill-natured fellow),
 you hate and avoid him, as a debtor does Ruso ; The alternative with Ruso was either ruin from
 extortion, or misery from listening to his writings. If his wretched creditors could not pay
 him, then they were condemned to hear him read his works. Perhaps some might prefer
 considering historias used in the sense of "tedious narration,"
 and refer it to the long schedule of the items in his account. Audit . Asinius Pollio first introduced the custom of reciting one's own
 compositions at Rome . who, when the woeful calends come upon the unfortunate man, unless he lrocures the
 interest or capital by hook or by crook, is compelled to hear his miserable stories with his
 neck stretched out like a slave. [Should my friend] in his liquor water my couch, or has he
 thrown down a jar carved by the hands of Evander : Evandri manibus tritum . — Tornatum, caelatum, fabricatum . Hinc radios trivere rotis , Virgil . Vitrum aliud flatu figuratur, aliud torno
 teritur , Pliny . But as the Latins used the
 word toreumata to signify any works, either turned or wrought
 by the chisel, because they were made by the same workmen, Sanadon thinks the poet probably
 means, that this plate was engraved with an instrument. The Scholiast tells us, that this
 Evander was carried from Athens to Rome by
 Mark Antony, and that he excelled in sculpture and engraving. They who believe that
 Horace means king Evander , would not only persuade us that this plate must have been preserved
 so many ages by some uncommon good fortune, but have unluckily placed a vessel so valuable
 on a monarch's table, whose palace was a cottage, his throne a chair of ordinary wood, his
 beds made of leaves or rushes, and his tapestry the skins of beasts. Res
 inopes Evandrus habebat . Dr. Bentley denies that the Latins ever used tritum to signify caelatum, perfectum , and
 he therefore recommends tortum to us, on the authority of an
 ancient manuscript. shall he for this [trifling] affair, or because in his hunger he has taken a chicken
 before me out of my part of the dish, be the less agreeable friend to me? [If so], what could
 I do if he was guilty of theft, or had betrayed things committed to him in confidence, or
 broken his word. They who are pleased [to rank all] faults nearly on an equality, are troubled
 when they come to the truth of the matter: sense and morality are against them, and utility
 itself, Horace endeavors to prove, according to the
 doctrine of Epicurus, that justice and injustice arise only from laws, and that laws have no
 other foundation than public utility, by which he means the happiness of civil society. On
 the contrary, the Stoics asserted, that justice and injustice have their first principles in
 nature itself, and the first appearance of reason in the mind of man. the mother almost of right and of equity. When [rude] animals, they crawled Cum prorepserunt . This expression is extremely proper for the system of Epicurus, who believed that
 the first race of men rose out of the earth, in which they were formed by a mixture of heat
 and moisture. forth upon the firstformed earth, the mute and dirty herd fought with their nails and
 fists for their acorn and caves, afterward with clubs, and finally with arms which experience
 had forged: till they found out words and names, by which they ascertained their language and
 sensations: thenceforward they began to abstain from war, to fortify towns, and establish
 laws: that no person should be a thief, a robber, or an adulterer. For before Helen's time
 there existed [many] a woman who was the dismal cause of war: but those fell by unknown
 deaths, whom pursuing uncertain venery, as the bull in the herd, the strongest slew. It must
 of necessity be acknowledged, if you have a mind to turn over the aeras and annals of the
 world, that laws were invented from an apprehension of the natural injustice [of mankind]. Nor
 can nature separate what is unjust from what is just, in the same manner as she distinguishes
 what is good from its reverse, and what is to be avoided from that which is to be sought: nor
 will reason persuade men to this, that he who breaks down the cabbage-stalk of his neighbor,
 sins in as great a measure, and in the same manner, as he who steals by night things
 consecrated to the gods. Let there be a settled standard, that may inflict adequate
 punishments upon crimes; lest you should persecute any one with the horrible thong, who is
 only deserving of a slight whipping. For I am not apprehensive, that you should correct with
 the rod one that deserves to suffer severer stripes; since you assert that pilfering is an
 equal crime with highway robbery, and threaten that you would prune off with an
 undistinguishing hook little and great vices, if mankind were to give you the sovereignty over
 them. If he be rich, who is wise, and a good shoemaker, and alone handsome, and a king, why do
 you wish for that which you are possessed of? You do not understand what Chrysippus, Chrysippus is here pleasantly called father, because he was the first who explained, in
 this absurd manner, these excellent precepts of Zeno which teach us, that wisdom sets above kings; and that the throne she
 offers to us is preferable to that of the greatest monarchs. the father [of your sect], says: "The wise man never made himself shoes nor slippers:
 nevertheless, the wise man is a shoemaker." How so? In the same manner, though Hermogenes be
 silent, he is a fine singer, notwithstanding, and an excellent musician: as the subtle
 [lawyer] Alfenus, Alfenus Varus, a shoemaker of Cremona, who, growing out of conceit with his employment,
 quitted it, and came to Rome ; where attending the
 lectures of Servius Sulpicius, a celebrated professor of law, he made so great proficience
 in that science, that he soon came to be esteemed one of the ablest lawyers of his time, and
 his name often occurs in the Pandects. He was afterward advanced to the highest honors of
 the empire; for we find him consul in the year of the city 755. after every instrument of his calling was thrown aside, and his shop shut up, was
 [still] a barber; thus is the wise man of all trades, thus is he a king. O greatest of great
 kings, the waggish boys pluck you by the beard; whom unless you restrain with your staff, you
 will be jostled by a mob all about you, and you may wretchedly bark and burst your lungs in
 vain. Not to be tedious: while you, my king, shall go to the farthing bath, and no guard shall
 attend you, except the absurd Crispinus; my dear friends will both pardon me in any matter in
 which I shall foolishly offend, and I in turn will cheerfully put up with their faults; and,
 though a private man, I shall live more happily than you, a king. He apologizes for the liberties taken by satiric poets in general, and particularly by
 himself THE poets Eupolis, and Cratinus, and Aristophanes, and others, who are authors of the
 ancient comedy, Comoedia prisca . Comedy was divided into ancient and modern. In the first, the subject and the names
 of the actors were real. In the second, the drama was formed on history, but the names of
 the actors were invented. In the third, both the story and actors were formed by the
 poet. if there was any person deserving to be distinguished for being a rascal or a thief,
 an adulterer or a cut-throat, or in any shape an infamous fellow, branded him with great
 freedom. Upon these [models] Lucilius entirely depends, having imitated them, changing only
 their feet Mutatis pedibus . Ennius and Pacuvius had written satires before Lucilius. He was rather the restorer
 than inventor of this kind of poetry; he formed himself upon the Grecian comedy, and only
 changed the measure of his verse, hexameter for iambics. and numbers: a man of wit, of great keenness, Emunctae naris . Of a sagacious, penetrating genius, to discover the follies of mankind, and of an
 agreeable, spirited, raillery, to turn them into ridicule, facetus . Such is the character of Lucilius by Cicero and Quintilian: perurbanum and abunde salis . inelegant in the composition of verse: for in this respect he was faulty; he would
 often, as a great feat, dictate two hundred verses in an hour, standing in the same position.
 As he flowed muddily, there was [always] something that one would wish to remove; he was
 verbose, and too lazy to endure the fatigue of writing-of writing accurately: for, with regard
 to the quantity [of his works], I make no account of it. See! Crispinus challenges me even for
 ever so little a wager. Minimo me provocat . We should understand pignore or pretio ; nor is there any instance in the Latin tongue of provocare minimo digito , as the commentators explain it. A man well assured of
 the truth of what he asserts, is willing to bet a large wager against a small one, which
 Horace means by minimo provocare. Take, if you dare, take your tablets, and I will take mine; let there be a place, a
 time, and persons appointed to see fair play: let us see who can write the most. The gods have
 done a good part by me, since they have framed me of an humble and meek disposition, speaking
 but seldom, briefly: but do you, [Crispinus,] as much as you will, imitate air which is shut
 up in leathern bellows, perpetually puffing till the fire softens the iron. Fannius is a happy
 man, who, of his own accord, has presented his manuscripts Ultro delatis capsis. When a poet was generally esteemed, his works and his statue were placed in the
 public libraries. But Horace congratulates Fannius
 upon the happiness of finding a method of immortalizing his name, without being obliged to
 pass through the usual forms. He thought he had a right to take an honor, which he was
 conscious he deserved, and perhaps imagined it a proper manner of resenting the public
 insensibility of his merit. and picture [to the Palatine Apollo]; when not a soul will peruse my writings, who am
 afraid to rehearse in public, on this account, because there are certain persons who can by no
 means relish this kind [of satiric writing], as there are very many who deserve censure.
 Single any man out of the crowd; he either labors under a covetous disposition, or under
 wretched ambition. One is mad in love with married women, another with youths; a third the
 splendor of silver captivates: Albius is in raptures with brass; another exchanges his
 merchandize from the rising sun, even to that with which the western regions are warmed: but
 he is hurried headlong through dangers, as dust wrapped up in a whirlwind; in dread lest he
 should lose any thing out of his capital, or [in hope] that he may increase his store. All
 these are afraid of verses, they hate poets. "He has hay on his horn, Faenum habet in cornu. A metaphorical expression taken from a custom of tying hay on the horns of a
 mischievous bull. The laws of the Twelve Tables ordered, that the owner of the beast should
 pay for what damages it committed, or deliver it to the person injured. Si
 quadrupes pauperiem faxit, dominus sarcito, noxaeve dedito. 
 [they cry;] avoid him at a great distance: if he can but raise a laugh for his own
 diversion, he will not spare any friend: and whatever he has once blotted upon his paper, he
 will take a pleasure in letting all the boys and old women know, as they return from the
 bakehouse or the lake." But, come on, attend to a few words on the other side of the question.