Enter DEMEA. I am quite tired with walking: May the great Jupiter confound you, Syrus, together with your directions! I have crawled the whole city over; to the gate, to the pond—where not? There was no joiner's shop there; not a soul could say he had seen my brother; but now I'm determined to sit and wait at his house till he returns. Enter MICIO from his house. MICIO speaking to the people within. I'll go and tell them there's no delay on our part. DEMEA But see here's the very man: O Micio, I have been seeking you this long time. MICIO Why, what's the matter? DEMEA I'm bringing you some new and great enormities of that hopeful youth. MICIO Just look at that! DEMEA Fresh ones, of blackest dye. MICIO There now—at it again. DEMEA Ah, Micio! you little know what sort of person he is. MICIO I do. DEMEA O simpleton! you are dreaming that I'm talking about the Music-girl; this crime is against a virgin and a citizen. MICIO I know it. DEMEA So then, you know it, and put up with it! MICIO Why not put up with it? DEMEA Tell me, pray, don't you exclaim about it? Don't you go distracted? MICIO Not I: certainly I had rather
 
 Certainly I had rather : He pauses after " quidem ," but he means to say that if he had his choice, he would rather it had not been so. —
 DEMEA There has been a child born. MICIO May the Gods be propitious to it. DEMEA The girl has no fortune. MICIO So I have heard. DEMEA And he—must he marry her without one? MICIO Of course. DEMEA What is to be done then? MICIO Why, what the case itself points out: the young woman must be brought hither. DEMEA O Jupiter! must that be the way then? MICIO What can I do else? DEMEA What can you do?: If in reality this causes you no concern, to pretend it were surely the duty of a man. MICIO But I have already betrothed the young woman to him; the matter is settled: the marriage takes place to-day. I have removed all apprehensions. This is rather the duty of a man. DEMEA But does the affair please you, Micio? MICIO If I were able to alter it, no; now, as I can not, I bear it with patience. The life of man is just like playing with dice:
 
 Playing with dice : The " tesserae " of the ancients were cubes, or what we call "dice;" while the " tali " were in imitation of the knuckle-bones of animals, and were marked on four sides only. For some account of the mode of playing with the " tali ," see the last Scene of the Asinaria, and the Curculio of Plautus, l. 257-9 . Madame Dacier suggests that Menander may possibly have borrowed this passage from the Republic of Plato, B. X. , where he says, "'We should take counsel from accidents, and, as in a game at dice, act according to what has fallen, in the manner which reason tells us to be the best." if that which you most want to throw does not turn up, what turns up by chance you must correct by art. DEMEA O rare corrector! of course it is by your art that twenty minae have been thrown away for a Music-girl; who, as soon as possible, must be got rid of at any price; and if not for money, why then for nothing. MICIO Not at all, and indeed I have no wish to sell her. DEMEA What will you do with her then? MICIO She shall be at my house. DEMEA For heaven's sake, a courtesan and a matron in the same house!
 MICIO Why not? DEMEA Do you imagine you are in your senses MICIO Really I do think so. DEMEA So may the Gods prosper me, I now see your folly; I believe you are going to do so that you may have somebody to practice music with. MICIO Why not? DEMEA And the new-made bride to be learning too? MICIO Of course. DEMEA Having hold of the rope,
 
 Hold of the rope : " Restim ductans saltabis ." Donatus and Madame Dacier think that this is only a figurative expression for a dance in which all joined hands; according to some, however, a dance is alluded to where the person who led off drew a rope or cord after him, which the rest of the company took hold of as they danced; which was invented in resemblance of the manner in which the wooden horse was dragged by ropes into the city of Troy . you will be dancing with them. MICIO Like enough; and you too along with us, if there's need. DEMEA Ah me! are you not ashamed of this? MICIO Demea, do, for once, lay aside this anger of yours, and show yourself as you ought at your son's wedding, cheerful and good-humored. I'll just step over to them, and return immediately. Goes into SOSTRATA'S house. 
 DEMEA O Jupiter ! here's a life! here are manners! here's madness! A wife to be coming without a fortune! A musicwench in the house! A house full of wastefulness! A young man ruined by extravagance! An:old man in his dotage!—Should Salvation herself
 
 Salvation herself: : See an observation relative to the translation of the word " Salus ," in the Notes to Plautus, vol. i. pages 193. 450. desire it, she certainly could not save this family. (Exit.) 

 Enter SYRUS, drunk, and DEMEA, on the opposite side of the stage. SYRUS Upon my faith, my dear little Syrus, you have taken delicate care of yourself, and have done your duty 
 Have done your duty : His duty of providing the viands and drink for the entertainment. So Ergasilus says in the Captivi of Plautus, l. 912 "Now I will go off to my government ( praefecturam ), to give laws to the bacon." with exquisite taste; be off with you. But since I've had my fill of every thing in-doors, I have felt disposed to take a walk. DEMEA apart. Just look at that—there's an instance of their good training! SYRUS to himself. But see, here comes our old man. Addressing him. What's the matter ? Why out of spirits? DEMEA Oh you rascal! SYRUS Hold now; are you spouting your sage maxims here? DEMEA If you were my servant— SYRUS Why, you would be a rich man, Demea, and improve your estate. DEMEA I would take care that you should be an example to all the rest. SYRUS For what reason ? What have I done ? DEMEA Do you ask me ? in the midst of this confusion, and during the greatest mischief, which is hardly yet set right, you have been getting drunk, you villain, as though things had been going on well. SYRUS aside. Really, I wish I hadn't come out. Enter DROMO in haste, from the house of MICIO. DROMO Halloo, Syrus! Ctesipho desires you'll come back. SYRUS Get you gone. Pushes him back into the house. 
 DEMEA What is it he says about Ctesipho? SYRUS Nothing. DEMEA How now, you hang-dog, is Ctesipho in the house? SYRUS He is not. DEMEA Then why does he mention him? SYRUS It's another person; a little diminutive Parasite. Don't you know him? DEMEA I will know him before long. Going to the door. 
 SYRUS stopping him. What are you about? Whither are you going? DEMEA struggling. Let me alone. SYRUS holding him. Don't, I tell you. DEMEA Won't you keep your hands off, whip-scoundrel? Or would you like me to knock your brains out this instant ? Rushes into the house. 
 SYRUS He's gone! no very pleasant boon-companion, upon my faith, particularly to Ctesipho. What am I to do now ? Why, even get into some corner till this tempest is lulled, and sleep off this drop of wine. That's my plan. Goes into the house, staggering. 
 Enter MICIO, from the house of SOSTRATA. MICIO to SOSTRATA, within. Every thing's ready with us, as I told you, Sostrata, when you like.—Who, I wonder, is making my door fly open with such fury ?
 Enter DEMEA in haste, from the house of MICIO. 
 DEMEA Alas! what shall I do? How behave? In what terms exclaim, or how make my complaint? O heavens! O earth! O seas of Neptune ! MICIO apart. Here's for you! he has discovered all about the affair; and of course is now raving about it; a quarrel is the consequence; I must assist him, 
 I must assist him : Colman remarks on this passage: "The character of Micio appears extremely amiable through the first four Acts of this Comedy, and his behavior is in many respects worthy of imitation; but his conduct in conniving at the irregularities of Ctesipho, and even assisting him to support them, is certainly reprehensible. Perhaps the Poet threw this shade over his virtues on purpose to show that mildness and good-humor might be carried to excess." however.
 DEMEA See, here comes the common corrupter of my children. MICIO Pray moderate your passion, and recover yourself. DEMEA I have moderated it; I am myself; I forbear all reproaches; let us come to the point: was this agreed upon between us,—proposed by yourself, in fact,—that you were not to concern yourself about my son, nor I about yours? Answer me. MICIO It is the fact,—I don't deny it. DEMEA Why is he now carousing at your house? Why are you harboring my son ? Why do you purchase a mistress for him, Micio ? Is it at all fair, that I should have any less justice from you, than you from me? Since I do not concern myself about your son, don't you concern yourself about mine. MICIO You don't reason fairly. DEMEA No ? MICIO For surely it is a maxim of old, that among themselves all things are common to friends. DEMEA Smartly said; you've got that speech up for the occasion. MICIO Listen to a few words, unless it is disagreeable, Demea. In the first place, if the extravagance your sons are guilty of distresses you, pray do reason with yourself. You formerly brought up the two suitably to your circumstances, thinking that your own property would have to suffice for them both; and, of course, you then thought that I should marry. Adhere to that same old rule of yours,—save, scrape together, and be thrifty for them; take care to leave them as much as possible, and take that credit to yourself: my fortune, which has come to them beyond their expectation, allow them to enjoy; of your capital there will be no diminution; what comes from this quarter, set it all down as so much gain. If you think proper impartially to consider these matters in your mind, Demea, you will save me and yourself, and them, considerable uneasiness. DEMEA I don't speak about the expense; their morals— MICIO Hold; I understand you; that point I was coming to. 
 That point I was coming to : Colman observes here: "Madame Dacier makes an observation on this speech, something like that of Donatus on one of Micio's above; and says that Micio, being hard put to it by the real circumstances of the case, thinks to confound Demea by a nonsensical gallimatia. I can not be of the ingenious lady's opinion on this matter, for I think a more sensible speech could not be made, nor a better plea offered in favor of the young men, than that of Micio in the present instance." There are in men, Demea, many signs from which a conjecture is easily formed; so that when two persons do the same thing, you may often say, this one may be allowed to do it with impunity, the other may not; not that the thing itself is different, but that he is who does it. I see signs in them, so as to feel confident that they will turn out as we wish. I see that they have good sense and understanding, that they have modesty upon occasion, and are affectionate to each other; you may infer that their bent and disposition is of a pliant nature; at any time you like you may reclaim them. But still, you may be apprehensive that they will be somewhat too apt to neglect their interests. O my dear Demea, in all other things we grow wiser with age; this sole vice does old age bring upon men: we are all more solicitous about our own interests than we need be; and in this respect age will make them sharp enough. DEMEA Only take care, Micio, that these fine reasonings of yours, and this easy disposition of yours, do not ruin us in the end. MICIO Say no more; there's no danger of that. Now think no further of these matters. Put yourself to-day into my hands; smooth your brow. DEMEA Why, as the occasion requires it, I must do so; but to-morrow I shall be off with my son into the country at day-break. MICIO Aye, to-night, for my share; only keep yourself in good-humor for the day. DEMEA I'll carry off that Music-girl along with me as well. MICIO You will gain your point; by that means you will keep your son fast there; only take care to secure her. DEMEA I'll see to that; and what with cooking and grinding, I'll take care she shall be well covered with ashes, smoke, and meal; besides all this, at the very mid-day 
 At the very mid-day : Exposed to the heat of a mid-day sun. I'll set her gathering stubble; I'll make her as burned and as black as a coal. MICIO You quite delight me; now you seem to me to be wise; and for my part I would then compel my son to go to bed with her, even though he should be unwilling. DEMEA Do you banter me? Happy man, to have such a temper! I feel— MICIO Ah ! at it again! DEMEA I'll have done then at once. MICIO Go in-doors then, and let's devote this day to the object 
 To the object : The marriage and its festivities. to which it belongs. Goes into the house.