Enter GETA, on the other side of the stage. GETA to himself. Now such is our condition, that if all were to combine all their counsels, and to seek a remedy for this mischief that has befallen myself, my mistress, and her daughter, they could find no relief. Oh wretched me! so many calamities beset us on a sudden, we can not possibly extricate ourselves. Violence, poverty, oppression, desertion, infamy! What an age is this! O shocking villainy! O accursed race! O impious man!— SOSTRATA Unhappy me! How is it that I see Geta hurrying along thus terrified? GETA continuing. Whom neither promises, nor oaths, nor compassion could move or soften; nor yet the fact that the delivery was nigh at hand of the unfortunate woman on whom he had so shamefully committed violence. SOSTRATA apart to CANTHARA. I don't well understand what he is talking about. CANTHARA Pray, let us go nearer to him, Sostrata. GETA continuing. Ah wretched me! I am scarcely master of my senses, I am so inflamed with anger. There is nothing that 1 would like better than for all that family to be thrown in my way, that I might give vent to all my wrath upon them while this wound is still fresh. 1 could be content with any punishment, so I might only wreak my vengeance on them. First, I would stop the breath of the old fellow himself who gave being to this monster; then as for his prompter, Syrus, out upon him! How I would tear him piecemeal! I would snatch him by the middle up aloft, and dash him head downward upon the earth, so that with his brains he would bestrew the road: I would pull out the eyes of the young fellow himself, and afterward hurl him headlong over some precipice. The others I would rush upon, drive, drag, crush, and trample them under foot. But why do I delay at once to acquaint my mistress with this calamity? Moves as if going. 
 SOSTRATA to CANTHARA. Let us call him Lack. Geta— GETA Well—leave me alone,
 
 Leave me alone : Quoting from Madame Dacier, Colman has this remark here: "Geta's reply is founded on a frolicsome but ill-natured custom which prevailed in Greece —to stop the slaves in the streets, and designedly keep them in chat, so that they might be lashed when they came home for staying out so long." whoever you are. SOSTRATA 'Tis I,—Sostrata. GETA turning round. Why, where are you? You are the very person I am looking for. I was in quest of you; it's very fortunate you have met me. SOSTRATA What's the matter? Why are you trembling?
 GETA Alas! alas! SOSTRATA My dear Geta, why in such haste? Do take breath. GETA Quite— pauses. 
 SOSTRATA Why, what means this "quite"? GETA Undone—It's all over with us. SOSTRATA Say, then, I entreat you, what is the matter. GETA Now— SOSTRATA What "now," Geta? GETA Aeschinus— SOSTRATA What about him? GETA Has abandoned our family. SOSTRATA Then I am undone! Why so? GETA He has attached himself to another woman. SOSTRATA Woe unto wretched me! GETA And he makes no secret of it; he himself has carried her off openly from a procurer. SOSTRATA Are you quite sure of this? GETA Quite sure; I saw it myself, Sostrata, with these same eyes. SOSTRATA Ah wretched me! What is one now to believe, or whom believe? Our own Aeschinus, the very life of us all, in whom all our hopes and comforts were centred! Who used to swear he could never live a single day without her! Who used to say, that he would place the infant on his father's knees,
 
 On his father's knees : It was a prevalent custom with the Greeks to place the newly-born child upon the knee of its grandfather. and thus entreat that he might be allowed to make her his wife! GETA Dear mistress, forbear weeping, and rather consider what must be done for the future in this matter. Shall we submit to it, or shall we tell it to any person? CANTHARA Pooh, pooh! Are you in your senses, my good man? Does this seem to you a business to be made known to any one? GETA I, indeed, have no wish for it. In the first place, then, that his feelings are estranged from us, the thing itself declares. Now, if we make this known, he'll deny it, I'm quite sure; your reputation and your daughter's character will then be in danger. On the other hand, if he were fully to confess it, as he is in love with another woman, it would not be to her advantage to be given to him. Therefore, under either circumstance, there is need of silence. SOSTRATA Oh! by no means in the world! I'll not do it. GETA What is it you say? SOSTRATA I'll make it known. GETA Ha, my dear Sostrata, take care what you do! SOSTRATA The matter can not possibly be in a worse position than it is at present. In the first place, she has no portion; then, besides, that which was as good as a portion, her honor, is lost: she can not be given in marriage as a virgin. This resource is left; if he should deny it, I have a ring which he lost as evidence of the truth. In fine, Geta, as I am fully conscious that no blame attaches to me, and that neither interest nor any consideration unworthy of her or of myself has had a share in this matter, I will make trial— GETA What am I to say to this? I agree, as you speak for the best. SOSTRATA You be off as fast as possible, and relate all the matter just as it has happened to her kinsman Hegio; for he was the best friend of our lamented Simulus, and has shown especial regard for us. GETA aside. Aye, faith, because nobody else takes any notice of us. SOSTRATA Do you, my dear Canthara, run with all haste, and fetch the midwife, so that, when she is wanted, we may not have to wait for her. SOSTRATA goes into the house, and exit GETA and CANTHARA. 
 Enter DEMEA. DEMEA to himself. Utterly undone! I hear that Ctesipho was with Aeschinus at the carrying off of this girl. This sorrow still remains for unhappy me, should Aeschinus be able to seduce him, even him, who promises so fair, to a course of debauchery. Where am I to inquire for him? I doubt he has been carried off to some bad house; that profligate has persuaded him, I'm quite sure. But look—I see Syrus coming this way, I shall now know from him where he is. But, i 'faith, he is one of the gang; if he perceives that I am looking for him, the rascal will never tell me. I'll not let him know what I want.
 Enter SYRUS, at the other side of the stage. 
 SYRUS to himself. We just now told the old gentleman the whole affair just as it happened; I never did see any one more delighted. DEMEA apart. O Jupiter ! the folly of the man! SYRUS continuing. He commended his son. To me, who put them upon this project, he gave thanks— DEMEA apart. I shall burst asunder. SYRUS continuing. He told down the money instantly, and gave me half a mina besides to spend. That was laid out quite to my liking. DEMEA apart. Very fine—if you would wish a thing to be nicely managed, intrust it to this fellow. SYRUS overhearing him. Ha, Demea! I didn't see you; how goes it? DEMEA How should it go? I can not enough wonder at your mode of living here. SYRUS Why, really silly enough, and, to speak without disguise, altogether absurd. Calls at the door of MICIO'S house. Dromo, clean the: rest of the fish; let the largest conger-eel play a little in the water; when I come back it shall, be boned;
 
 It shall be boned : The operation of boning conger-eels is often mentioned in Plautus, from whom we learn that they were best when eaten in that state, and cold. not before. DEMEA Is profligacy like this— SYRUS As for myself, it isn't to my taste, and I often exclaim against it. Calls; at the door. Stephanio, take care that the salt fish is well soaked. DEMEA Ye Gods, by our trust in you! Is he doing this for any purpose of his own, or does he think it creditable to ruin his son? Wretch that I am! methinks I already see the day when Aeschinus will be running away for want, to serve somewhere or other as a soldier.
 
 Serve somewhere or other as a soldier : See a similar passage in the Trinummus of Plautus, l. 722 , whence it appears that it was the practice for young men of ruined fortunes to go and offer their services as mercenaries to some of the neighboring potentates. Many of the ten thousand who fought for the younger Cyrus at the battle of Cunaxa , and were led back under the command of Xenophon (as described in his Anabasis , were, doubtless, of this class. 
 SYRUS O Demea ! That is wisdom indeed, not only to look at the present moment, but also to look forward to what's to come. DEMEA Well—is this Music-girl still with you? SYRUS Why, yes, she's in-doors. DEMEA How now—is he going to keep her at home? SYRUS I believe so; such is his madness! DEMEA Is it possible? SYRUS An imprudent lenity in his father, and a vicious inlulgence. DEMEA Really, I am ashamed and grieved at my brother. SYRUS Demea! Between you there is a great—I do not say it because you are here present—a too great difference. You are, every bit of you, nothing but wisdom; he a mere dreamer. Would you indeed have suffered that son of yours to act thus? DEMEA I, suffer him? Would I not have smelt it out six months before he attempted it? SYRUS Need I be told by you of your foresight? DEMEA I pray he may only continue the same he is at present! SYRUS Just as each person wishes his son to be, so he turns out. DEMEA What news of him? Have you seen him to-day? SYRUS What, your son? Aside. I'll pack him off into the country. To DEMEA. I fancy he's busy at the farm long before this. DEMEA Are you quite sure he is there? SYRUS What!—when I saw him part of the way myself— DEMEA Very good. I was afraid he might be loitering here. SYRUS And extremely angry too. DEMEA Why so? SYRUS He attacked his brother in the Forum with strong language about this Music-girl. DEMEA Do you really say so? SYRUS Oh dear, he didn't at all mince the matter; for just as the money was being counted out, the gentleman came upon us by chance, and began exclaiming, "Oh Aeschinus, that you should perpetrate these enormities! that you should be guilty of actions so disgraceful to our family!" DEMEA Oh, I shall weep for joy. SYRUS "By this you are not squandering your money only, but your reputation." DEMEA May he be preserved to me! I trust he will be like his forefathers. Weeping. 
 SYRUS aside. Heyday! DEMEA Syrus, he is full of these maxims. SYRUS aside. Strange, indeed! He had the means at home of learning them. DEMEA I do every thing I can; I spare no pains; I train him up to it: in fine, I bid him look into the lives of men, as though into a mirror, and from others to take an example for himself. Do this, I say— SYRUS Quite right. DEMEA Avoid that— SYRUS Very shrewd. DEMEA This is praiseworthy— SYRUS That's the thing. DEMEA That is considered blamable— SYRUS Extremely good. DEMEA And then, moreover— SYRUS Upon my honor, I have not the leisure to listen to you just at present: I have got some fish just to my taste, and must take care they are not spoiled; for that would be as much a crime in me, as for you, Demea, not to observe those maxims which you have just been mentioning; and so far as I can, I lay down precepts for my fellow-servants on the very same plan; "this is too salt, that is quite burned up, this is not washed enough, that is very well done; remember and do so another time." I carefully instruct them so far as I can to the best of my capacity. In short, Demea, I bid them look into their sauce-pans as though into a mirror,
 
 As though into a mirror : He parodies the words of Demea in l. 415, where he speaks of looking into the lives of men as into a mirror. and suggest to them what they ought to do. I am sensible these things are trifling which we do; but what is one to do? According as the man is, so must you humor him. Do you wish any thing else? DEMEA That more wisdom may be granted you. SYRUS You will be going off into the country, I suppose? DEMEA Directly. SYRUS For what should you do here, where, if you do give any good precepts, no one will regard them? Goes into MICIO'S house. 
 DEMEA to himself. I certainly will be off, as he on whose account I came hither has gone into the country. I have a care for him: that alone is my own concern, since my brother will have it so; let him look to the other himself. But who is it I see yonder at a distance? Isn't it Hegio of our tribes?
 
 Of our tribe : Solon divided the Athenians into ten tribes, which he named after ten of the ancient heroes: Erectheis, Aegeis, Pandionis, Leontis, Acamantis, OEneis, Cecrops, Hippothoontis, Aeantis, and Antiochis. These tribes were each divided into ten Demi. If I see right, i' faith, it is he. Ah, a man I have been friendly with from a child! Good Gods! we certainly have a great dearth of citizens of that stamp nowadays, with the old-fashioned virtue and honesty. Not in a hurry will any misfortune accrue to the public from him. How glad I am to find some remnants of this race even still remaining; now I feel some pleasure in living. I'll wait here for him, to ask him how he is, and have some conversation with him.