Master, in the first place, I would have you persuaded of what is the fact; whatever has happened in this affair has happened through no fault of mine.LACHES What is it? PARMENO Really you have reason to ask. I ought first to have told you the circumstances. Phaedria purchased a certain Eunuch, to make a present of to this woman here.LACHES To what woman?PARMENO To Thais.LACHES Bought? Good heavens, I’m undone! For how much?PARMENO Twenty minae.LACHES Done for, quite.PARMENO Then, Chaerea is in love with a certain music-girl here.(Pointing to THAIS’s house.)LACHES How! What? In love? Does he know already what a courtesan means? Is he come to town? One misfortune close upon another.PARMENO Master, don’t look so at me; he didn’t do these things by my encouragement.LACHES Leave off talking about yourself. If I live, you hang-dog, I’ll— But first give me an account of it, whatever it is.PARMENO He was taken to the house of Thais in place of the Eunuch.LACHES In place of the Eunuch?PARMENO Such is the fact. They have since apprehended him in the house as a ravisher, and bound him.LACHES Death!PARMENO Mark the assurance of courtesans.LACHES Is there any other calamity or misfortune besides, that you have not told me of?PARMENO That’s all.LACHES Do I delay rushing in here?(Runs into the house of THAIS.)PARMENO(to himself.)There’s no doubt but that I shall have a heavy punishment for this affair, only that I was obliged to act thus. I’m glad of this, that some mischief will befall these women here through my agency, for the old man has, for a long time, been on the look-out for some occasionFor some occasion: We learn from Donatus that Menander was more explicit concerning the resentment of Laches against Thais, on account of her having corrupted Phaedria.to do them a bad turn; at last he has found it.

(Enter PYTHIAS from the house of THAIS, laughing.)PYTHIAS(to herself, on entering.)Never, upon my faith, for a long time past, has any thing happened to me that I could have better liked to happen, than the old gentleman just now, full of his mistake, coming into our house. I had the joke all to myself, as I knewAs I knew: She enjoyed it the more, knowing that the old man had nothing to fear, as he had just heard the fiction which she had imparted to Parmeno. Donatus observes that the terror of Laches accounts for his sudden consent to the union of Chaerea with Pamphila; for though he could not settle the matter any other way with credit, he was glad to find that his son had made an unequal match rather than endangered his life. Colman, however, observes with considerable justice: I think Chaerea apologizes still better for this arrangement in the Scene with Thais at the opening of this Act, where he says that he is confident of obtaining his father’s consent, provided Pamphila proves to be a citizen; and, indeed, the match between them is rather a reparation of an injury done to her than a degradation of himself. what it was he feared.PARMENO(apart.)Why, what’s all this?PYTHIAS Now I’m come out to meet with Parmeno.But, prithee, where is he?(Looking around.)PARMENO(apart.)She’s looking for me.PYTHIAS And there he is, I see; I’ll go up to him.PARMENO What’s the matter, simpleton? What do you mean? What are you laughing about? Still going on?PYTHIAS(laughing.)I’m dying; I’m wretchedly tired with laughing at you.