Plague on it, what roundabout story is he beginning to tell me?CLINIA Syrus, he says what’s right—do omit digressions; come to the point.SYRUS Really I can not hold my tongue. Clitipho, you are every way unjust, and can not possibly be endured.CLINIA Upon my faith, he ought to have a hearing. (To CLITIPHO.) Do be silent.SYRUS You wish to indulge in your amours; you wish to possess your mistress; you wish that to be procured wherewithal to make her presents; in getting this, you do not wish the risk to be your own. You are not wise to no purpose,—if indeed it is being wise to wish for that which can not happen.Either the one must be had with the other, or the one must be let alone with the other. Now, of these two alternatives, consider which one you would prefer; although this project which I have formed, I know to be both a wise and a safe one. For there is an opportunity for your mistress to be with you at your father’s house, without fear of a discovery; besides, by these self-same means, I shall find the money which you have promised her—to effect which, you have already made my ears deaf with entreating me. What would you have more?CLITIPHO If, indeed, this could be brought about—SYRUS If, indeed? You shall know it by experience.CLITIPHO Well, well, disclose this project of yours. What is it?SYRUS We will pretend that your mistress is his.(pointing to CLINIA)CLITIPHO Very fine! Tell me, what is he to do with his own? Is she, too, to be called his, as if one was not a sufficient discredit?SYRUS No—she shall be taken to your mother.CLITIPHO Why there?SYRUS It would be tedious, Clitipho, if I were to tell you why I do so; I have a good reason.CLITIPHO Stuff! I see no grounds sufficiently solid why it should be for my advantage to incur this risk.Incur this risk: As to his own mistress.(Turning as if going.)SYRUS Stay; if there is this risk, I have another project, which you must both confess to be free from danger.CLITIPHO Find out something of that description, I beseech you.SYRUS By all means; I’ll go meet her, and tell her to return home.CLITIPHO Ha! what was it you said?SYRUS I’ll rid you at once of all fears, so that you may sleep at your ease upon either ear.Upon either ear: In aurem utramvis, a proverbial expression, implying an easy and secure repose. It is also used by Plautus, and is found in a fragment of the Πλοκιὸν, or Necklace, a Comedy of Menander. CLITIPHO What am I to do now?CLINIA What are you to do? The goods that—CLITIPHO Only tell me the truth, Syrus.SYRUS Dispatch quickly; you’ll be wishing just now too late and in vain.(Going.)CLINIA The Gods provide, enjoy while yet you may; for you know not—CLITIPHO(calling.)Syrus, I say!SYRUS(moving on.)Go on; I shall still do that which I said.Still do that which I said: Perge porro, tamen istuc ago. Stallbaum observes that the meaning is: Although I’m going off, I’m still attending to what you’re saying. According to Schmieder and others, it means: Call on just as you please, I shall persist in sending Bacchis away. CLINIA Whether you may have another opportunity hereafter or ever again.