Dramatis Personae SIMO, an old gentleman of . CALIDORUS, his son, in love with Phœnicium. CHARINUS, the friend of Calidorus. CALLIPHO, the friend of Simo. PSEUDOLUS, the servant of Simo. BALLIO, a procurer, the owner of Phœnicium. HARPAX, the servant of Polymachaeroplagides. SIMMIA, the Cheat, a servant of Charinus. A COOK. A BOY, servant of Ballio. POENICIUM [mute], beloved by Calidorus. SLAVES of Ballio. (Scene— Athens . The house of BALLIO is on one side of the Street, that of SIMO on the other.) THE SUBJECT.
 CALIDORUS, a young Athenian, the son of Simo, is in love with Phœnicium, a young woman who belongs to Ballio, a procurer. A bargain has been made by the procurer, to sell her to a military officer for twenty minae; fifteen of these have been paid down, and it has been agreed that when the remaining five and a certain token, with a letter, shall have been sent by the Captain, the damsel shall be sent to him in return. Pseudolus, the servant of Simo, promises his master’s son, that, if possible, he will prevent this. They first address Ballio on the subject; but their attempts to influence him are all in vain. Pseudolus then devises a plan to get some money out of Simo, by whom, however, it is discovered; but, after having acknowledged his fault, he prevails upon the old gentleman to promise him twenty minae if he shall contrive to get the girl out of the procurer’s hands. Harpax, the messenger from the Captain, in the meantime makes his appearance. Being a stranger to the place, he unwittingly delivers the Captain’s letter and the token to Pseudolus, who pretends that he is the head-servant of the procurer. Charinus, the friend of Calidorus, lends him five minae; and, provided with this, Pseudolus equips Simmia, a servant of Charinus, so as to represent the messenger from the Captain. He finds the procurer, delivers the letter, pays the five mine, and carries off the damsel. Ballio then makes a bet of twenty minae with Simo, that Pseudolus shall not outwit him that day. The real Harpax now applies to Ballio for the girl, and the trick being discovered, the procurer has to pay back the fifteen minae to the Captain, and the twenty for the bet which he has made with Simo. Simo then pays the twenty minae, which he has promised to Pseudolus if he should succeed in outwitting the procurer. Pseudolus is handsomely entertained by Calidorus, and engages to return to Simo one-half of the money, if he wil join the entertainment. THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.] An officer pays down fifteen mine, ready money ( Prœsentes ); as a token he also ( Simul ) gives an impression of his seal, that the procurer may deliver Phœnicium to him ( Ei ), who brings it with the rest of the money. Pseudolus intercepts his camp-servant coming ( Venientem ) with the token, saving ( Dicens ), that he is Syrus, the servant of Ballio, and thus he gives his aid ( Opem ) to his master; for the procurer ( Leno ) delivers up the damsel to Simmia, whom he has substituted. The real Harpax comes ( Venit ); the matter is all discovered, and the old man ( Senex ) pays the money which he has agreed to give. PROLOGUE The Prologue : It is generally supposed that this Prologue, with the exception of the last two lines, was not written by Plautus it is, however, of grest antiquity, and is found in most of the MSS. ATTEND to me this day; good things I bring upon the stage; for I think ’tis very just that to the good good things should be brought; as likewise bad things to the bad; that those who are bad may have what’s bad, those who are good what’s good; bad men are bad because they hate the good; because the good contemn the bad, needs must be that they are good; and therefore, you are good since you have ever abhorred the bad; and both by your laws, Quirites, and by your legions, have you routed them with good success. In like manner now do you give your goodly attention to this goodly company, which is a good one, and. to good people brings this day good things. Ears, eyes, and understanding, shall be amply filled. He that comes hungry or thirsty to the theatre, the same shall carefully give his attention both through laughter and a sharpened stomach; while those who are full will laugh, the hungry will be carping. Now, if you are wise, you hungry ones, give place, and go away; you who are full, stand—aye, sit you down, and give attention. I shall not now divulge the plot, nor yet the name of this play—Pseudolus will fully do that. I imagine then and I think that this is enough which I have said to you. Where mirth, jokes, laughter, wine, and jollity, are the order of the day, the Graces, too, and propriety, joyousness, and delight; he who seeks for other things, that person appears to seek for evil. Away, then, with evil cares, as being men at your ease this day. ’Tis better for your loins to be stretched Loins to be stretched : In the sitting position, the muscles of the loins are contracted; hence the present expression. , and for you to arise. A long play of Plautus is coming upon the stage. (Enter CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS from SIMO’S house.) PSEUDOLUS If, master, by your being silent, I could be informed what miseries are afflicting you so sadly, I would willingly have spared the trouble of two persons—of myself in asking you, and of yourself in answering me. Since, however, that cannot be, necessity compels me to enquire of you. Answer me: What’s the reason that, out of spirits for these many days past, you’ve been carrying a letter about with you, washing it with your tears, and making no person the sharer of your purpose? Speak out, that what I am ignorant of, I may know together with yourself. CALIDORUS I am wretchedly miserable, Pseudolus. PSEUDOLUS May Jupiter forbid it! CALIDORUS This belongs not at all to the arbitration of Jupiter; under the sway of Venus Under the sway of Venus : The youth of both sexes, from the tenth to the eighteenth year, were supposed to be under the dominion of Venus, to whom they offered their clothes, dolls, and toys, on arriving at puberty. am I harassed, not under that of Jove. PSEUDOLUS Is it allowable for me to know what it is? For hitherto you have had me as chief confidant in your plans. CALIDORUS The same is now my intention. PSEUDOLUS Let me know then what’s the matter with you. I’ll aid you either with resources, or with my efforts, or with good counsel. CALIDORUS Do you take this letter: do you thence inform yourself what misery and what care are wasting me away. PSEUDOLUS (taking the letter.) Compliance shall be given you. But, prithee, how’s this? CALIDORUS What’s the matter? PSEUDOLUS As I think, these letters are very loving; they are climbing on each other’s backs. CALIDORUS Are you making sport of me with your foolery? PSEUDOLUS I’ faith, I really do believe that unless the Sibyl Unless the Sibyl : The Sibyl, being gifted with prophecy, might know the meaning of that which could not be read. The 23rd line has been somewhat modified in the translation. can read them, nobody else can possibly interpret them. CALIDORUS Why speak you unkindly of those sweet letters— sweet tablets too, written upon by a hand as sweet. PSEUDOLUS Troth now, have hens, prithee, such hands? For certainly a hen has written these letters. CALIDORUS You are annoying me. Either read it or return the letter. PSEUDOLUS Very well then, I’ll read it through. Give me your attention. CALIDORUS That’s not here. PSEUDOLUS Do you summon it then. CALIDORUS Well, I’ll be silent; do you summon it from that wax there From that wax there : Allusion is here made to the wax with which the surface of the tablet was covered, and on which the writing was traced with the iron stylus. ; for there my attention is at present, not in my breast.