In how delightful a manner I shall receive you this day, when you have completed this matter. SIMO Ha, ha, ha! (Laughing.) PSEUDOLUS With nice viands, wine, perfumes, and titbits between our cups. There, too, shall be a charming damsel, who shall give you kiss upon kiss. SIMO You will be receiving me in a delightful manner. PSEUDOLUS Aye, and if you effect it, then I’ll make you say so still more. SIMO If I don’t effect it, do you, the executioner, take me off to torture. But make haste and point out to me where is the door of the procurer’s house. PSEUDOLUS ’Tis the third hence. SIMO Hist! hush! the door’s opening. PSEUDOLUS In my mind, I believe that the house is poorly. SIMO Why so? PSEUDOLUS Because, i’ faith, it is vomiting forth the procurer. (BALLIO is coming out of his house.) SIMO Is this he? PSEUDOLUS This is his own self. SIMO ’Tis a worthless commodity. PSEUDOLUS Do see that: he doesn’t go straight, but sideways, just as a crab is wont. (They conceal themselves from BALLIO.) (Enter BALLIO from his house.) BALLIO I do believe that this fellow is not so bad a cook as I thought he was; for he has clawed off nothing as yet except a cup and a tankard. PSEUDOLUS (apart to SIMMIA.) Hallo you! now’s your opportunity and your time. SIMO I agree with you. PSEUDOLUS Step slily out into the street; I’ll be here in ambush. (SIMMIA steps forward, and then walks along the middle of the street to meet BALLIO.) SIMO (talking aloud to himself.) I took the number carefully; this is the sixth lane from the city gate; down that lane he bade me turn; how many houses down he told me, that I don’t quite know for certain. BALLIO (eyeing SIMMIA.) Who’s this fellow in the scarf, or whence does he come, or whom is he looking for? The appearance of the fellow seems outlandish and shabby. SIMO But see, here’s a person, who, from uncertainty, will make the thing more certain for me that I wish to know. BALLIO He’s coming straight towards me. Where in the world am I to say this fellow comes from? SIMO Harkye! you who are standing there with a goat’s beard, answer me this that I ask you. BALLIO How now! Don’t you salute me first? SIMO (with a surly voice.) I have no salutations to give away. BALLIO Well, troth, you shall get just as much from here then. PSEUDOLUS (from behind.) Well done, at the very beginning. SIMO Do you know any person in this lane, I ask you? BALLIO I know myself.