Now, therefore, this is the best thing to do; for me to call you each by her name, that no one of you may be declaring to me by-and-by that her business hasn’t been told her. Give attention, all of you. In the first place, Hedylium, my business is with you—you, who are the favorite of the corn-merchants, men who have, all of them, immense mountains of wheat piled up at home; take you care that wheat is brought here for me, to suffice this year to come for myself and all my household, and that I may so abound in corn that the city may change my name for me, and instead of the procurer Ballio proclaim me King lasions King Iasion : Iasius or Iasion, was a king of Arcadia , the father of Atalanta, who attended the hunt of the Calydonian boar, and was beloved by Meleager There was another person of the same name, who was the lover of Ceres, and was slain by the thunderbolts of Jove. As he was said to have been the father, by Ceres, of Plutus, the God of Riches, he is probably the person here referred to . CALIDORUS (apart.) Do you hear what the gallows-bird is saying? Doesn’t he seem a regular boaster to you? PSEUDOLUS (apart.) I’ troth the fellow does, and a wicked one And a wicked one : Pseudolus plays on the resemblance of the two words magnificus, a boaster, and maleficus, wicked. as well. But hush now, and give attention to this. BALLIO Aeschrodora, you who have for your patrons the butchers, those rivals of the procurers, who, just like ourselves, by false oaths seek their gains, do you listen; unless the three larders shall be crammed for me this day with carcases of ample weight, to-morrow, just as they say that formerly the two sons of Jupiter fastened Dirce Fastened Dirce : Dirce was married to Lycus, the King of Thebes , after he had divorced Antiope. On this, Zethus and Amphion, the sons of the latter by Jupiter, caused the supplanter of their mother to be fastened to the tail of a wild bull, and put Lycus to death. to the bull, aye, this day as well, will I tie you up to the larder; that, in fact, shall be your bull. CALIDORUS (apart.) I’m quite enraged by the talk of this fellow; that we should suffer the youth of Attica to encourage here To encourage here : As being the minister of their pleasures. this fellow! Where are they—where are they skulking, they of mature age, who have their amorous dealings with this procurer? Why don’t they meet? Why don’t they one and all deliver the public from this pestilence? But I am very simple, and very ignorant; they would venture, of course, to do that to those, to whom their passions compel them, to their misfortune, to be subservient, and, at the same time, prevent them from doing that against them which they would rather wish to do. PSEUDOLUS (apart.) Hush! CALIDORUS (apart.) What’s the matter? PSEUDOLUS (apart.) Pshaw! you are not very obliging. Why are you drowning his talk Drowning his talk : Calidorus will keep whispering to him, while he is wishful to listen to what the procurer is saying. by your noise? CALIDORUS (apart.) I’ll be silent. PSEUDOLUS (apart.) But I’d much rather you would be silent, than that you should say you will be silent. BALLIO And you, Xystilis, take you care and give me your attention—you whose fanciers have large quantities of oil at home. If oil shall not be brought me here forthwith in leathern bags, I’ll to-morrow cause yourself to be carried off in a leathern bag to the prostitutes’ shambles Prostitutes’ shambles : It is not exactly known what the pergula was, but it is supposed that it was a booth or shed adjoining to a house, which was let out for persons who wished to expose their wares to the public view. It is not improbable that in these sheds the lower class of courtesans prostabant venales, or courted the public favour. No doubt the leno had one of these in his establishment, and he threatens the refractory females with it as a punishment, as it was probably tenanted by the refractory ones, and those whose charms had ceased to attract more wealthy customers. . There a bed shall be given you, I warrant, where you can have no rest, but where, even to downright fainting— You understand what’s the tendency of that which I’m saying? Will you tell me, you viper you, you who have so many of your fanciers so right well laden with their oil, is now the head of any one of your fellow-slaves a bit the better anointed by your means, or do I, myself, get my dainty morsels a bit the better seasoned with oil Seasoned with oil : Unctiusculo. The Romans used a great deal of oil in the seasoning of their dishes. for it? But I understand— you don’t care much about oil; with wine you anoint yourself. Only wait a bit; by my troth I’ll punish you for all at one spell, unless indeed this day you contrive to manage all these things that I’ve been speaking of. But as for you, Phœnicium, I tell you this, you pet of the mighty men—you who have been for so long a time always paying down to me your money for your liberty—you who only know how to promise, but don’t know how to pay what you have promised; unless this day all your keep is brought me here out of the stores of your customers, to-morrow, Phœnicium, with a true Phœnician hide True Phœnician hide : He puns upon her name; as phœnicium, or puniceum, was the name of the purple colour for which Tyre and Sidon , in Phœnicia, were so famous. , you’ll pay a visit to the strumpets’ shambles. (The SLAVES go into the house of BALLIO.) (CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS come forward. BALLIO stands near his door.) CALIDORUS Pseudolus, don’t you hear what he says? PSEUDOLUS I hear it, master, and I give good heed. CALIDORUS What do you advise me to send him, that he mayn’t devote my mistress to dishonor? PSEUDOLUS Don’t you trouble yourself about that; be of cheerful mind. I’ll manage for myself and for you. For some time past I’ve been on terms of goodwill with him, and he with me; and our friendship is of old standing. I’ll send him this day, on his birthday, a mischief heavy and well-matured. CALIDORUS What’s the plan? PSEUDOLUS Can’t you attend to something else? CALIDORUS But— PSEUDOLUS Tut. CALIDORUS I’m distracted. PSEUDOLUS Harden your heart. CALIDORUS I cannot.