Because I please you, you select me for an example.THEUROPIDESSay now: what kind of a person did I leave my son, when I went away from here?TRANIOOne with feet and hands, with fingers, ears, eyes, and lips. THEUROPIDESI asked you something else than that.TRANIOFor that reason I now answer you something else.But look, I see Callidamates, the friend of your son, coming this way. Deal with me in his presence, if you want anything

(Enter CALLIDAMATES, at a distance.)CALLIDAMATES(to himself.)When I had buried all drowsinessBuried all drowsiness: Generally we hear of a person being buried in sleep; but Callidamates considers that a drunkard, when he awakes from his sleep, buries slumber. It is not unlike the words of Shakspeare, in Macbeth: Macbeth doth murder sleep!, and slept off the debauch, Philolaches told me that his father had arrived here from abroad; in what a way too his servant had imposed upon the man on his arrival; he said that he was afraid to come into his presence. Now of our company I am deputed sole ambassador, to obtain peace from his father. And look, most opportunely here he is. (Accosting THEUROPIDES.) I wish you health, Theuropides, and am glad that you’ve got back safe from abroad. You must dine here with us to-day. Do so.THEUROPIDESCallidamates, may the Gods bless you. For your dinner I offer you my thanks.CALLIDAMATESWill you come then? TRANIO(To THEUROPIDES.)Do promise him; I’ll go for you, if you don’t like.THEUROPIDESWhip-scoundrel, laughing at me still?TRANIOWhat, because I say that I’ll go to dinner for you?THEUROPIDESBut you shan’t go. I’ll have you carried to the cross, as you deserve.TRANIOCome, let this pass, and say that I shall go to the dinner.Why are you silent?CALLIDAMATES(to TRANIO.)But why, you greatest of simpletons, have you taken refuge at the altar?TRANIOHe frightened me on his arrival. (To THEUROPIDES.) Say now, what I have done amiss. Look, now there’s an umpire for us both; come, discuss the matter.THEUROPIDESI say that you have corrupted my son.TRANIOOnly listen. I confess that he has done amiss; that he has given freedom to his mistress; that in your absence he has borrowed money at interest; that, I admit, is squandered away. Has he done anything different to what sons of the noblest families do?THEUROPIDESUpon my faith, I must be on my guard with you; you are too clever a pleader.CALLIDAMATESJust let me be umpire in this matter. (TO TRANIO.) Get up; I’ll seat myself there.THEUROPIDESBy all means: take the management of this dispute to yourself.(Pushes him to one side of the altar.)TRANIOWhy, this is surely a trick. Make me, then, not to be in a fright, and yourself to be in a fright in my stead.THEUROPIDESI consider now everything of trifling consequence, compared with the way in which he has fooled me.TRANIOI’ faith, ’twas cleverly done, and I rejoice that it was done. Those who have white heads ought at that age to be wiser.THEUROPIDESWhat am I now to do if my friend Demipho or Philonides—