What? At home? SCELEDRUS She’s lying on the sofa.PALAESTRIO Faith, but you’ve certainly brought on yourself a disagreable affair, according to what you report.SCELEDRUS How so? PALAESTRIO Inasmuch as you have dared to touch that lady next door here.SCELEDRUS I’ faith, I fear it much. But no one shall ever make her to be any other than her own twin-sister.PALAESTRIO ’twas she, in troth, that you saw toying: and, in fact, ’tis plain that it is she, as you remark.SCELEDRUS What was there more likely than that I should have been undone, if I had spoken of it to my master.PALAESTRIOThen, if you’re wise, you’ll hold your tongue. It befits a servant to know of more than he speaks. I’m going to leave you, that I may not at all participate in your designs. And I shall go to our neighbour here; these turmoils of yours don’t please me. My master, if he comes, should he inquire for me, I shall be there; send for me next door. (Goes into the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)

(SCLEDRUS, alone.)SCELEDRUS Well, he’s off; nor cares he any more for his master’s business than if he were not in his service. For sure she really is now here in-doors in the house, for I myself found her just now lying down in our house. I am resolved now to employ myself in watching. (Places himself against the CAPTAIN’S door.)

(Enter PERIPLECOMENUS from his house.)PERIPLECOMENUS Faith, but these men here, these servants of my neighbour the Captain, take me not to be a man, but a woman, so much do they trifle with me. My lady guest, who came here yesterday from Athens with the gentleman, my guest, is she to be mauled about and made fun of here in the street—a lady, free-born and free?SCELEDRUS(aside.)By my troth, I’m undone. He’s coming in a straight line up towards me. I fear that this matter may cause me great trouble, so far as I have heard this old gentleman speak.PERIPLECOMENUS I’ll up to this fellow. Was it you, Sceledrus, source of mischief, that were just now making fun of my lady guest before the house?SCELEDRUS Good neighbour, listen, I beg. PERIPLECOMENUS I, listen to you?SCELEDRUS I wish to clear myself. PERIPLECOMENUSYou, clear yourself to me, who have done an action so gross and so unbecoming? And because you are soldiersBecause you are soldiers: He alludes to the lawless character of the mercenary soldier, whose name, latro, came afterwards to be applied to robbers and cut-throats of all descriptions. It may be here remarked, that the word miles, which is applied throughout the play to their master, the Captain, is a general term for one following the profession of arms, whether officer or private. The word is translated Captain, without reference to his rank, any further than that he was a commanding officer., do you suppose, you gallows-bird, that you may do what you like with us?SCELEDRUS May I—? PERIPLECOMENUS But so may all the Gods and Goddesses prosper me, if a punishment with the rodWith the rod: The slaves were more frequently beaten with flagra, or whips; but they were sometimes scourged with virgae, or rods. This was done by the lorarius, a slave who was kept for the purpose is not given to you at my request, a long and lasting one, from morning to evening; because you have been breaking my gutters and my tiles, while you were following there a monkey like your own self Like your own self: Condignam te;literally, worthy, or deserving of yourself.; because, too, you have been peeping down from there at my guest in my house, when he was caressing and fondling his mistress; besides, you have dared to accuse the chaste lady of your master of criminality, and myself of a heinous offence; and further, because you have dared to maul about my lady guest before my house. If the punishment of the whip is not given to you, I will cause your master to be more laden with disgrace than the sea is full of waves in a heavy storm.SCELEDRUS I am driven to such straits, Periplecomenus, that I don’t know whether it is fitter for me rather to dispute this matter with you, or whether, if she is not our lady, and if our lady was not seen by me, it seems more proper for me to excuse myself to you; as even now I don’t know which I saw, so like is that guest of yours to our lady—if, indeed, she is not the same person.PERIPLECOMENUS Go into my house and look: you’ll soon see.