Bring me a sword out here from in-doors.SCELEDRUS What will you do with it?PALAESTRIO I’ll break right into the houseInto the house: The mock rage of Palaestrio here is admirably drawn.; and whatever man I see in-doors there caressing Philocomasium, I’ll behead him on the spot.SCELEDRUS And do you think that it was she?PALAESTRIO I’ faith, it was she, sure enough. SCELEDRUS But how she did dissemble.PALAESTRIO Go, bring me a sword out here.SCELEDRUS I’ll have it here this moment.(Goes into the CAPTAIN’S house.)

(PALAESTRIO alone.)PALAESTRIO Beyond a doubt, neither any horse nor foot has so great a degree of boldness in carrying out anything with as much confidence as some women. How cleverly and how skilfully she performed her part in both her characters!—how her wary keeper, my fellow-servant, is being gulled! ’Tis most fortunate that the passage communicates through the party-wall.

(Enter SCLEDRUS from the CAPTAIN’s house.)SCELEDRUS Hallo! Palaestrio, there’s no occasion for the sword.PALAESTRIO How so?—or what’s the matter now?SCELEDRUS Our master’s lady is there, at home.PALAESTRIO What? At home? SCELEDRUS She’s lying on the sofa.PALAESTRIO Faith, but you’ve certainly brought on yourself a disagreable affair, according to what you report.SCELEDRUS How so? PALAESTRIO Inasmuch as you have dared to touch that lady next door here.SCELEDRUS I’ faith, I fear it much. But no one shall ever make her to be any other than her own twin-sister.PALAESTRIO ’twas she, in troth, that you saw toying: and, in fact, ’tis plain that it is she, as you remark.SCELEDRUS What was there more likely than that I should have been undone, if I had spoken of it to my master.PALAESTRIOThen, if you’re wise, you’ll hold your tongue. It befits a servant to know of more than he speaks. I’m going to leave you, that I may not at all participate in your designs. And I shall go to our neighbour here; these turmoils of yours don’t please me. My master, if he comes, should he inquire for me, I shall be there; send for me next door. (Goes into the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)

(SCLEDRUS, alone.)SCELEDRUS Well, he’s off; nor cares he any more for his master’s business than if he were not in his service. For sure she really is now here in-doors in the house, for I myself found her just now lying down in our house. I am resolved now to employ myself in watching. (Places himself against the CAPTAIN’S door.)

(Enter PERIPLECOMENUS from his house.)PERIPLECOMENUS Faith, but these men here, these servants of my neighbour the Captain, take me not to be a man, but a woman, so much do they trifle with me. My lady guest, who came here yesterday from Athens with the gentleman, my guest, is she to be mauled about and made fun of here in the street—a lady, free-born and free?SCELEDRUS(aside.)By my troth, I’m undone. He’s coming in a straight line up towards me. I fear that this matter may cause me great trouble, so far as I have heard this old gentleman speak.PERIPLECOMENUS I’ll up to this fellow. Was it you, Sceledrus, source of mischief, that were just now making fun of my lady guest before the house?SCELEDRUS Good neighbour, listen, I beg. PERIPLECOMENUS I, listen to you?SCELEDRUS I wish to clear myself. PERIPLECOMENUSYou, clear yourself to me, who have done an action so gross and so unbecoming? And because you are soldiersBecause you are soldiers: He alludes to the lawless character of the mercenary soldier, whose name, latro, came afterwards to be applied to robbers and cut-throats of all descriptions. It may be here remarked, that the word miles, which is applied throughout the play to their master, the Captain, is a general term for one following the profession of arms, whether officer or private. The word is translated Captain, without reference to his rank, any further than that he was a commanding officer., do you suppose, you gallows-bird, that you may do what you like with us?SCELEDRUS May I—?