Are you not aware that you are done for?SCELEDRUS Now, indeed, I’m sure she is at home; I am now resolved to watch our door, wheresoever she may be. (Places himself at the door.) PALAESTRIO But, prithee, Sceledrus, how very like the dream she dreamt to what has happened; and how you really did believe that you had seen her kissing. SCELEDRUS And do you suppose that I didn’t see her?PALAESTRIO I’ faith, I verily believe you’ll come to your senses when ’tis too late. If this matter should only reach our master, you certainly are undone.SCELEDRUS Now, at length, I find out that there was a mist placed before my eyes.PALAESTRIO I’ faith, that really has been plain for some time now; as she was here in-doors all the while.SCELEDRUS Not a word of certainty have I to utter; I did not see her, although I did see her.PALAESTRIO By my troth, through this folly of yours you certainly have nearly ruined us; while you have wished to prove yourself faithful to your master, you have been almost undone. But the door of our next neighbour makes a noise; I’ll be silent.

(Enter PHILOCOMASIUMSceledrus having been duly prepared, Philocomasium appears as her twin-sister, who is supposed to have come the day before from Athens to Ephesus, and gives directions about returning thanks for having landed in safety. As the circumstance of the communication between the houses is known to the Audience, and is not suspected by Sceledrus, his embarrassment is highly diverting, and very cleverly depicted., dressed in another habit, from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)PHILOCOMASIUM(to a servant SERVANT.) Put fire on the altar, that in my joy I may return praises and thanks to Diana of Ephesus, and that I may send up for her a grateful smoke with odours of Arabia: she who has preserved me in the realms of Neptune and amid the boisterous templesBoisterous temples: In the language of the Poets, Neptune and the inferior Sea Divinities are supposed to have their temples and abodes in the sea and rivers., where with raging billows I have been so recently dismayed.SCELEDRUS(discovering her.)Palaestrio! O Palaestrio!PALAESTRIO Sceledrus! O Sceledrus! What is it you want?SCELEDRUS This lady that has come out of that house just now—is she Philocomasium, our master’s lady, or is she not?PALAESTRIO I’ faith, I think, it seems to be she. But ’tis a wondrous thing how she could pass from our house to next door; if, indeed, it is she.SCELEDRUS And have you any doubt that this is she?PALAESTRIO It seems to be she. SCELEDRUS Let us approach her, and accost her. Hallo! how’s this, Philocomasium? What is there owing to you in that house? What is your business there? Why are you silent now? I am speaking to you.PALAESTRIO No, faith, you are talking to yourself; for nothing at all does she answer.SCELEDRUS I am addressing you, woman, brimful of viciousness and disgrace, who are roaming about among your neighbours.PHILOCOMASIUM To whom are you talking? SCELEDRUS To whom but to yourself?PHILOCOMASIUM What person are you? Or what business have you with me?SCELEDRUS O, you ask me who I am, do you?PHILOCOMASIUM Why shouldn’t I ask that which I don’t know?PALAESTRIO Who am I, then, if you don’t know him?PHILOCOMASIUM You are an annoyance to me, whoever you are, both you and he.SCELEDRUS What? don’t you know us? PHILOCOMASIUM No, neither of you.SCELEDRUS I very much fear— PALAESTRIO What do you fear?SCELEDRUS Why, that we have lost ourselves somewhere or other; for she says that she knows neither you nor me.PALAESTRIO I wish, Sceledrus, to examine into this, whether we are ourselves, or else some other persons; lest secretly somehow some one of our neighbours may have transformed us without our knowing it. SCELEDRUS For my part, beyond a doubt, I am my own self.PALAESTRIO I’ faith, and so am I.