I’m not afraid now lest he should be able to come to know that I’m in love with her, because I’ve not as yet done anything in a foolish manner, as people in love are wont to do.CHARINUS(aside.)I’ faith, the affair for the present is really quite safe; for I’m quite certain that he doesn’t know anything about that mistress of mine; if he did know, his talk would have been different.DEMIPHO(aside.)Why don’t I accost him about her?CHARINUS(aside.)Why don’t I betake myself off hence?(Aloud.) I’m going to deliver the commissions from my friends to their friends.(Moves as if going.)DEMIPHONay, but stop; I still want to make a few enquiries of you first.CHARINUSSay what it is you wish. DEMIPHOHave you all along been well?CHARINUSQuite well all the time, so long, indeed, as I was there; but as soon as I had arrived here in harbour, I don’t know what faintness it was came over me.DEMIPHOI’ faith, I suppose it arose from sea-sickness; but it will be going off just now. But how say you? What servant-maid is this that you have brought from Rhodes for your mother?CHARINUSI’ve brought one. DEMIPHOWell, what sort of a woman is she as to appearance?CHARINUSNot an ill-favored one, i’ faith.DEMIPHOHow is she as to manners?CHARINUSIn my way of thinking, I never saw one better.DEMIPHOSo, indeed, i’ faith, she seemed to me when I saw her.CHARINUSHow now, have you seen her, father?DEMIPHOI have seen her; but she doesn’t suit our ways, and so she doesn’t please me.CHARINUSWhy so? DEMIPHOBecause she hasn’t a figure suitable to our establishment; we stand in need of no female servant but one who can weave, grind, chop wood, make yarn, sweep out the house, stand a beating, and who can have every day’s victuals cooked for the household. This one will be able to do not any single one of these things.CHARINUSWhy, in fact, for this reason I purchased her, to make a present of her to my mother. DEMIPHODon’t you be giving her, nor mention that you have brought her.CHARINUS(aside.)The Deities favour me.DEMIPHO(aside.)I’m shaking him by slow degrees. (Aloud.) But, what I omitted to say,—she can neither with due propriety follow your mother as an attendant; nor will I allow it.CHARINUSBut why? DEMIPHOBecause, with those good looks, it would be scandalous if she were to be following a matron when she’s walking through the streets; all people would be staring, gazing, nodding, winking, hissing, twitching, crying out, be annoying, and singing serenades at our door; my door, perhaps, would be filled with the charcoal marksWith the charcoal marks: Colman, who translated this Play in Thornton’s edition, has this Note here: Some consider these words as alluding to defamatory, rather than commendatory verses, alleging that praise was written in chalk, and scandal in coal. Ilia prius chartâ, mox haec carbone. I have followed the opinion, however, of other Commentators, who suppose that in these cases chalk, or coal, or lighted torches, were used indiscriminately, according to the colour of the ground—as a Poet would write a panegyric in black ink upon white paper, or a lover delineate the name of his mistress with the smoke of a candle on a white-washed ceiling. of her praises; and, according as persons are scandalizing at the present day, they might throw it in the teeth of my wife and myself, that we are carrying on the business of a Procurer. Now what occasion is there for this?