O me! They say I’m mad, whereas they of themselves are mad.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus. How he yawns, as he stretches himself. What am I to do now, my father?OLD MAN Step this way, my daughter, as far as ever you can from him.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES(aside.) What is there better for me than, since they say I’m mad, to pretend that I am mad, that I may frighten them away from me? (He dances about.)Evoë, Bacchus, ho! BromiusHo! Bromius: Evius and Bromius were two of the names by which the Bacchanals addressed Bacchus in their frenzy., in what forest dost thou invite me to the chase? I hear thee, but I cannot get away from this spot, so much does this raving mad female cur watch me on the left side. And behind there is that other old he-goat, who many a time in his life has proved the destruction of an innocent fellow-citizen by his false testimony.OLD MAN(shaking his stick at him.) Woe to your head.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Lo! by his oracle, Apollo bids me burn out her eyes with blazing torches.(He points with his fingers at her.)THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus. I’m undone, my father; he’s threatening to burn my eyes out.OLD MAN Hark you, daughter. THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus. What’s the matter? What are we to do?OLD MAN What if I call the servants out here? I’ll go bring some to take him away hence, and bind him at home, before he makes any further disturbance.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES(aside.) So now; I think now if I don’t adopt some plan for myself, these people will be carrying me off home to their house. (Aloud.) Dost thou forbid me to spare my fists at all upon her face, unless she does at once get out of my sight to utter and extreme perdition?I will do what thou dost bid me, Apollo.(Runs after her.)OLD MAN(to the WIFE.) Away with you home as soon as possible, lest he should knock you down.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus. I’m off. Watch him, my father, I entreat you, that he mayn’t go anywhere hence. Am I not a wretched woman to hear these things?(She goes into her house.)MENAECHMUS SOSICLES(aside.) I’ve got rid of her not so badly. (Aloud.) Now as for this most filthy, long-bearded, palsied Tithonus, who is said to have had Cygnus for his fatherCygnus for his father: Plautus designedly makes Menaechmus Sosicles be guilty of the mistake of styling Tithonus the son of Cygnus, as helping to promote the belief of his madness. Tithonus was the son of Laomedon, and the brother of Priam. He was beloved by Aurora, and the poets feigned that he was her husband. Having received the gift of immortality, he forgot to have perpetual youthfulness united with the gift; and at length, in his extreme old age, he was changed into a grasshopper. There were several persons of the name of Cygnus, or Cycnus; one was the son of Apollo and Hyrie, another of Mars and Pelopea, or Pyrene, another of Neptune and Cayx, and a fourth of Ocitus and Amophile.,you bid me break in pieces his limbs, and bones, and members with that walking-stick which he himself is holding.OLD MAN Punishment shall be inflicted if you touch me indeed, or if you come nearer to me.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES(shouting aloud.) I will do what thou dost bid me; I will take a two-edged axe, and I will hew this old fellow to his very bones, and I will chop his entrails into mincemeat.OLD MAN(retreating as far as he can.) Why really against that must I take care and precaution. As he threatens, I’m quite in dread of him, lest he should do me some mischief.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES(jumping and raising his arms.) Many things dost thou bid me do, Apollo. Now thou dost order me to take the yoked horses, unbroke and fierce, and to mount the chariot, that I may crush to pieces this aged, stinking, toothless lion. Now have I mounted the chariot; now do I hold the reins; now is the whip in my hand. Speed onward, ye steeds, let the sound of your hoofs be heard; in your swift course let the rapid pace of your feetThe rapia pace of your feet: Cursu celeri facite inflexa sit pedum pernicitas. Literally, in the swift course, make the swiftness of your feet to be bent inwards. The legs of good horses, when trotting fast, bend inwards before they throw them out. be redoubled.(Points at the OLD MAN as he pretends to gallop.)OLD MAN Are you threatening me with your yoked steeds?MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Lo! again, Apollo, thou dost bid me to make an onset against him who is standing here, and to murder him. But what person is this that is tearing me hence by the hair down from the chariot? He revokes thy commands and the decree of Apollo.OLD MAN Alas! a severe and obstinate malady, i’ faith. By our trust in you, ye Gods even this person who is now mad, how well he was a little time since. All on a sudden has so great a distemper attacked him.I’ll go now and fetch a physician as fast as I can.(Exit.)MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Prithee, are these persons gone now out of my sight, who are compelling me by force, while in my wits, to be mad? Why do I delay to be off to the ship, while I can in safety? And all of you (to the SPECTATORS), if the old gentleman should return, I beg not to tell him, now, by what street I fled away hence.