I’ve been breakfasting, drinking, feasting with a mistress; and I’ve carried off this mantle, of which she shall no more be owner after this day. PENICULUS Isn’t he now talking about me, and my share of the repast? I can’t well hear what he says. MENAECHMUS SOSICLES (to himself.) She says that I secretly gave her this, and that I stole it away from my wife. When I perceived that she was mistaken, at once I began to assent, as though I really had had acquaintanceship with her. Whatever the woman said, the same said I. What need of many words? I was never entertained at less expense. PENICULUS (apart.) I’ll accost the fellow; for I quite long to have a row. MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Who’s this that’s coming up towards me? (Takes off the mantle, and hides it.) PENICULUS What say you, you fellow lighter than a feather, most rascally and most abandoned—you disgraceful man—you cheat, and most worthless fellow? Why have I deserved this of you? For what reason should you ruin me? How you stole yourself away from me just now at the Forum. You’ve been performing the funeral of the breakfast in my absence. Why did you dare to do so, when I was entitled to it in an equal degree? MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Young man, prithee, what business with me have you, who are thus purposely insulting a person whom you know not? Do you wish a punishment to be given you for your abuse? PENICULUS Do be quiet; by my faith, I discover that you’ve done that already indeed. MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Answer me, young man, I beg; what is your name? PENICULUS Are you laughing at me, as well, as though you didn’t know my name? MENAECHMUS SOSICLES By my troth, I never saw or knew you, that I’m aware of, before this day; but at all events, whoever you are, if you do what’s right, you won’t be an annoyance to me. PENICULUS Don’t you know me? MENAECHMUS SOSICLES I shouldn’t deny it if I did know you. PENICULUS Menaechmus, awake. MENAECHMUS SOSICLES I’ troth, I really am awake, so far as I know. PENICULUS Don’t you know your own Parasite? MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Young man, I find that your headpiece isn’t sound. PENICULUS Answer me; have you not purloined that mantle from your wife to-day, and given it to Erotium? MENAECHMUS SOSICLES I’ faith I have no wife, nor have I given the mantle to Erotium, nor have I purloined it. PENICULUS Are you really in your senses? This matter’s settled This matter’s settled : Occisa est haec res . Literally, this matter is killed ; somewhat similar to our expression, the murder is out. . Did I not see you coming out of doors clad in a mantle? MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Woe to your head. Do you think that all people are effeminate rogues Effeminate rogues : Cinaedos . Literally, dancers or dancing-masters, who, being effeminate persons, would be more likely to wear a palla of gay colours. [The translator is suppressing the actual meaning of the word. A cinaedus (Greek κίναιδος ) is a homosexual man.] because you are one? Do you declare that I was clothed in a mantle? PENICULUS Troth, I really do. MENAECHMUS SOSICLES Why don’t you go where you are deserving to go, or else request yourself to be atoned for, you downright madman? PENICULUS By my troth, never shall any one prevail upon me not to tell your wife the whole matter now, just as it happened. All these insults shall be retorted upon yourself. I’ll take care that you shan’t have devoured the breakfast unpunished. (He goes into the house of MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.) MENAECHMUS SOSICLES What’s the meaning of this business? Why, Just as I see each person, do they all make fun of me in this way? But the door makes a noise.